DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently been promoted at my company, and I now directly manage the interns. One of the interns is consistently 10 to 15 minutes late to work. She always stays later than the other interns, but I think she should be prompt instead of making it up later. The company as a whole is relaxed about working hours, but this isn't the example I want set. -- Tick Tock, Seattle

DEAR TICK TOCK: Request a meeting with this intern to learn more about her. Ask her to tell you where she goes to school and what her plans are for the future. Ask her where she lives and if she knows the city well. Tell her you have noticed that she comes to work late every day. She may tell you about a difficult commute. She may say she comes late and works late. Or she may point out that time seems to be flexible at the office.

This is where you can come in with your experience and recommendations. Based on what you know about growing a professional career, point out to her that people who come to work early and who stay late are often the ones who get noticed and promoted in a work environment. Arriving at work late, even in a relaxed office, may be sending a message that is unintentional. Suggest that she treat this internship as if she were making a million dollars a year. What time would she show up to work then? What might she do differently? Suggest that she approach this job and every opportunity as if it were the most important work before her. In this way, she will learn more, earn more and excel.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started a new job and really want to make the best impression possible. The office is very close, and I still feel like the new guy after a few months. I have noticed that many of the employees go out after work for drinks or are interwoven in each other’s lives in one way or another. I’m not trying to be besties with anybody, but I do want to fit in. Should I try to organize an event after work so I'll be invited to one? All of my other post-work invitations must have been lost in the mail. -- Include Me, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR INCLUDE ME: Before organizing an event, consider your co-workers, and think about individuals with whom you may share some common interests. It might be better to invite one or two co-workers to go out after work for drinks before trying to host a big event. As you slowly build bonds with the people on the job, they may naturally choose to invite you to different events they are having. Or you may have to slowly develop your own core group of work friends. It’s best not to force the situation. Instead, grow relationships one by one.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently texted with my former boss because I found an old picture of her with some former colleagues and thought she would like to have it. Her response was immediate, but it included a curse word. I was surprised because she doesn’t curse, but I didn’t think much of it. She wrote back immediately apologizing and saying she couldn’t believe that a swear word had been sent by her. She quickly figured out that she had mistyped. She was so embarrassed. Even though I assured her it was no big deal, it really bothered her. Was there more that I should have said? -- Awkward Exchange, Atlanta

DEAR AWKWARD EXCHANGE: I understand why your former boss would have been dismayed. Sadly, between the tiny size of the keyboard on people’s phones and the autocorrect feature that often incorrectly assumes what you are trying to say, many texts end up with weird language that either defies logic or can be insensitive. Neutralizing it in the moment is the best solution.

I suppose my best advice for you and everyone else who texts is to pause and read over whatever you have written before you press send, as too often the brain of the computer or the clumsiness of your fingers could have written something very different than what you thought you wrote.

You accepted her apology; there was nothing more for you to do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been married for a long time -- nearly 20 years. Things have gone up and down over the years, but I realize now that I have not been a very good wife. As I think about it, I would say that I have been pretty selfish, not wanting to fit into any type of a stereotypical role. I didn’t start to cook until after my son was born, many years into our marriage. I hate to clean. I work more than anything, and I haven’t always been kind. I have been having nightmares recently, remembering some of my past behaviors toward my husband where I blamed him for everything, but now I wonder. I know now that I am equally to blame, if not more, because I have been so stubborn.

I don’t know what to do to make up for lost time, but I see now that I want to apologize to my husband for not being the best wife and to work harder from now on to be a better partner. I don’t mean I’m trying to go back to the '50s -- I just want to be better. -- Bad Wife, Philadelphia

DEAR BAD WIFE: You know the saying “actions speak louder than words”? I recommend that you begin to do the things that you believe will nourish your marriage. Choose to come home from work earlier whenever you can. Cook meals that your husband will appreciate. Expend more effort on tidying your home. You can also directly apologize to your husband for being selfish over the years, and pledge that you will be a more supportive partner as the days unfold.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I commute to work via rail every day. There are designated quiet cars in the back of the train. Here, people typically stay silent and allow others to get some extra shuteye or read the paper. Recently, there's been a brash businessman talking loudly on the phone in the quiet car. I hoped this would happen only once, but it's been more than a week. He is quiet when the conductor comes by, and then he begins barking about business deals. What can I say to him that'll get my message across? He doesn't seem like he'd take kindly to being told to can it. -- Shh!, Scarsdale, New York

DEAR SHH!: You should not say anything to this man. Instead, solicit the conductor by searching for him and telling him about the man’s behavior and asking him to speak on behalf of the others in the quiet car. Cite examples of how this man has rudely and shrewdly spoken loudly on the phone on a daily basis for more than a week. Tell the conductor how unfair you believe his behavior is and that you are asking for his support.

If you can, use your smartphone to film the man when he is in action. If you can discreetly capture him, even if you just get his voice, the conductor will have evidence to support your claim. Good luck!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter has started going into the bathroom directly after every meal. I know this is ringing the alarm for an eating disorder, but she doesn’t do anything in the restroom. I genuinely just think she stands there and waits for us to give her attention and fawn over her. There is no running water, and not even a toilet flush. Should I entertain this behavior by asking her if she needs professional help? “Jenny” has dramatic tendencies, and has even pretended to faint in public. -- Probably on Her Phone, Boston

DEAR PROBABLY ON HER PHONE: Before asking Jenny if she needs professional help, ask her what she’s doing in the bathroom. Express your concern that she goes to the bathroom immediately after meals and lingers there for a long time. Ask what she’s doing while she’s in there. You are correct in being concerned and also smart to think that it could be that this is her private time away from her parents when she can connect with friends, either via social media, texting or a traditional phone call.

You should check her phone to see who she’s been texting and calling. She may balk at this, but it is your right as her parent. If she refuses, you can take the phone away from her for a time. Rather than getting into emotional fisticuffs with Jenny, your goal should be to get her to open up to you. Since you believe she faked a fainting spell, you may want her to see a therapist anyway just to check to see how she’s navigating the teen years. She won’t like that, either, so I recommend making it a requirement rather than an option.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)