DEAR HARRIETTE: I commute to work via rail every day. There are designated quiet cars in the back of the train. Here, people typically stay silent and allow others to get some extra shuteye or read the paper. Recently, there's been a brash businessman talking loudly on the phone in the quiet car. I hoped this would happen only once, but it's been more than a week. He is quiet when the conductor comes by, and then he begins barking about business deals. What can I say to him that'll get my message across? He doesn't seem like he'd take kindly to being told to can it. -- Shh!, Scarsdale, New York

DEAR SHH!: You should not say anything to this man. Instead, solicit the conductor by searching for him and telling him about the man’s behavior and asking him to speak on behalf of the others in the quiet car. Cite examples of how this man has rudely and shrewdly spoken loudly on the phone on a daily basis for more than a week. Tell the conductor how unfair you believe his behavior is and that you are asking for his support.

If you can, use your smartphone to film the man when he is in action. If you can discreetly capture him, even if you just get his voice, the conductor will have evidence to support your claim. Good luck!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter has started going into the bathroom directly after every meal. I know this is ringing the alarm for an eating disorder, but she doesn’t do anything in the restroom. I genuinely just think she stands there and waits for us to give her attention and fawn over her. There is no running water, and not even a toilet flush. Should I entertain this behavior by asking her if she needs professional help? “Jenny” has dramatic tendencies, and has even pretended to faint in public. -- Probably on Her Phone, Boston

DEAR PROBABLY ON HER PHONE: Before asking Jenny if she needs professional help, ask her what she’s doing in the bathroom. Express your concern that she goes to the bathroom immediately after meals and lingers there for a long time. Ask what she’s doing while she’s in there. You are correct in being concerned and also smart to think that it could be that this is her private time away from her parents when she can connect with friends, either via social media, texting or a traditional phone call.

You should check her phone to see who she’s been texting and calling. She may balk at this, but it is your right as her parent. If she refuses, you can take the phone away from her for a time. Rather than getting into emotional fisticuffs with Jenny, your goal should be to get her to open up to you. Since you believe she faked a fainting spell, you may want her to see a therapist anyway just to check to see how she’s navigating the teen years. She won’t like that, either, so I recommend making it a requirement rather than an option.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I bring a packed lunch from home every day to work. Usually, the entire office goes out to eat at a swanky place where lunch and a beverage will cost $20. They ask me to join them, but I have a perfectly good lunch already made for a fraction of the cost. Should I start going out with them? I feel like my lunch makes me seem antisocial in the office. -- From Home, Westchester, New York

DEAR FROM HOME: Your question is really about office politics, not just your budget. While your plan to bring your lunch is sensible and cost-effective, it likely is distancing you from your co-workers. There is something to be said for factoring professional networking into your budget, including networking at lunchtime. Consider agreeing to go to lunch with your co-workers once or twice a week to show an interest in hanging out with them. This may require you to reapportion funds in a different way, but it could end up providing leverage for next steps in your career.

Also, I wonder: Since the entire office goes out to lunch together, does the company ever foot the bill? It’s a little odd that everyone -- except you -- is there daily. You can’t be the only one who thinks it’s a bit pricey. It never hurts to ask.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father recently had an intervention with me, which hurt my feelings. I work on a farm and live in a cabin in a very rural area, and I love it. However, my father told me I'd be a “useless hippie” and said he'd refuse to speak to me unless I got a “real job.” I love my job, but I also love my family. Is there any way to remedy this so I can get the best of both worlds? -- We Are Farmers, Ohio

DEAR WE ARE FARMERS: Your father’s tough rhetoric is founded in his fear that you may not be able to provide for yourself, at least not in the manner in which he believes you should be able to. That said, your father cannot live your life for you. The way to help him to feel at ease is to figure out your life so that you live within your means and save as you pursue your dreams. If your dream is to live and work on a farm, don’t give it up because it worries your father. Figure out how you can afford to live this way in relative comfort.

When you can show your father that the life you have chosen suits you, he should be able to see that you actually do have a “real” job that is sustaining you well. This should ease his mind and soften his heart to your way of living your life. Realize that there may be tough days ahead. That’s part of life -- but know that even financial types, real estate agents, doctors and lawyers can have ups and downs in their careers. Challenges are not limited to farmers.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've liked “Bri” for nearly two years. She was in a relationship at the time, and I respected this, so when she recently became single, I was elated to have my chance with her. I expressed my feelings to my friend "Jeff" before I asked Bri to spend time with me, and a few days later, Bri was going on a date with Jeff! I feel like he totally took her from me. Should I confront Jeff about being a bad friend? -- Bro Code, Dallas

DEAR BRO CODE: Forget about Jeff. Go directly to Bri and ask her out. If this happened just recently, she can’t possibly already be in a relationship with Jeff. Call Bri. Invite her to join you for a quiet time together where it will be easy for you to talk. Ease into a conversation with her. Get a sense of how she’s doing. Lay your cards on the table. Tell her that you have liked for a long time, but out of respect for her relationship, you kept your distance. Tell her that you would like her to consider going out with you to see if she might like you, too. Acknowledge that you know you are making this request early on after her breakup. Point out that it is obvious to you how special she is, and you would regret it if you didn’t get a chance to see how special a couple you two can be.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I asked the company intern out on a date. She is a recent college graduate just like me, and we get along very well at work. Now I fear she said yes to this date only because she thinks I would bad-mouth her if she said no. I realize I’m not sure if she actually likes me romantically. Should I backpedal on this potential relationship? -- Office Sparks, San Francisco

DEAR OFFICE SPARKS: Why not go on the date and take it easy? Ask her what she likes to do, and pick an activity that suits both of you. Get to know each other. Be upfront as well: Tell her you are happy to have a contemporary at the office, being that you are both recent graduates, and you would like to get to know her better. Add that you find her attractive, but you do not want to be presumptuous. Tell her that you are happy to be work buddies, if that feels right to her, but you are also willing and interested in hanging out with her personally if she thinks she would like that. Make it clear that there is no pressure either way.

You have to be careful that the intern doesn’t feel any pressure from you, which is why it is good to be direct and clear. You can add that if she doesn’t want to do anything other than share time with you at work, you are fine with that. You will respect her wishes and boundaries.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)