DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a pretty strained relationship with my grandfather. He was not a great parent, and my father hasn't spoken to him in over 20 years.

Recently, I've learned from my cousin that my grandpa is going to pass within a matter of weeks. I already know my father would never go overseas for a funeral, but I think he may want me to. How do I broach this sensitive subject? My dad likes to pretend he doesn't care about anything pertaining to his father, but I know he secretly does. -- To Fly or Not to Fly, Cincinnati

DEAR TO FLY OR NOT TO FLY: My experience with the death of a family member or loved one, even when the relationship is strained, is that it is best to do everything you can to create closure before the person leaves the planet. The fact that your grandfather has had a strained relationship with you and an estranged relationship with your father is all the more reason why it would be good for you to get on a plane and go to say goodbye to him.

Rather than asking your father if he wants you to go, tell him that you plan to travel to visit your grandfather with the intention of offering your love and blessings for his transition. I also recommend that you do your best to forgive your grandfather for whatever bad things occurred between the two of you and between him and your father. Forgiveness is healing on both sides. It can make your grandfather’s transition more easeful, and it can help you to release any bad feelings that you have been harboring. You can ask your father if he wants you to share a message with his father during your visit. If not, tell him you will offer his love and blessings.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My co-worker accidentally sent me an email about me instead of to her intended recipient. This email called me a “b---h” and used my name, so there's no wiggle room about who the intended target was. I have pretty thick skin, so this comment did not bother me. I know not everybody likes me.

Since the email, “Lauren” has gone out of her way to be way too nice to me. She even baked cookies and brought them into the office when I made a big sale. I am over the email and this fake syrupy behavior. How do I tell Lauren this without seeming like a B-word again? -- You've Got (Hate) Mail, Milwaukee

DEAR YOU’VE GOT (HATE) MAIL: You can take the high road and thank Lauren for making the effort to make it up to you for having sent that email. Tell her you forgive her for writing about you so unkindly. Add that your intention is to do a good job at work. Tell her you are sorry she has thought of you so negatively, but you hope that impression will change as time goes by.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I desperately need to make a few dollars. I have been out of work for several months now, and I can’t pay my bills.

I have tons of stuff that I could possibly sell, but I’ve never had a yard sale before. Is this something that people still do? How can I price items if I stage a sale? Should I also put stuff online? I have old camera equipment, some good pots and pans, a ton of women’s clothes and some other odds and ends. Is it worth it to try? -- Yard Sale, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR YARD SALE: The traditional yard sale is still alive and well, especially in the summer. To attract customers, you will need to post signs on major streets leading to your home. You can also promote using a neighborhood newspaper or website, and you can sell online.

Do your research to see which websites sell the types of items you have to offer. Craigslist is still popular, as is eBay. You may want to consider having someone with a good following on one of those sites sell for you. In that case, the person gets a commission. What’s good about that is you sell through a known seller who already has a track record.

In terms of pricing, go low. In order to move the “stuff” you have to sell, make it super affordable. Consider 70 percent discounts on items so that customers can understand what value they are getting for their dollar. Price items to move!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to get graduation gifts for a few of my friends. I am not sure what to get them or how much to spend. I don’t want to spend a lot of money, but I do want it to be meaningful. Do you have any suggestions on where to start? -- Grad Gifts, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR GRAD GIFTS: Create a budget based on what you can afford for graduation gifts. Make a list of the people you want to give something. Divide that number of people by the amount in your budget. This will tell you how much money you have to spend on each gift. Do not feel pressured to spend more than you have. Instead, get creative.

Think about your friends and their interests. What would make them happy at this turning point in their lives, and what would help them remember you? A framed photo of you, the graduate and any other key friends could be a thoughtful gift. Similarly, a small photo album of memories of you and your friends over the years could be a prized gift.

More traditional gifts that grads might like include a pen monogrammed with the person’s initials, a monogrammed iPad case or a personalized tote bag.

My preference, however, is for the captured memories gifts.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband wants to go skydiving. I told him he could go by himself, because I have no interest in going. He wants me to do it with him and won’t stop bugging me about it. He won’t do it alone. Should I do it? I am so nervous, and I have a little fear of heights. -- Skydiving, Seattle

DEAR SKYDIVING: There is a way for you to be comfortable and for your husband to be fulfilled. You can go to the site to observe him skydiving without going up in the air. Inexperienced skydivers do not go unaccompanied. Your husband will be attached to another human being -- a skydiving expert, in fact. He can fully experience his bucket-list dream to fly in the sky with you present. The best news is that you can stand on the ground and record him in action to share with him later.

If he balks at this idea, let him know that this is the compromise that you can offer, that it will take a lot even for you to be present and watching him in flight. Ask him to have compassion for you and give you the space to support him and maintain your presence of self. If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend is a terrible cook. She wants to make dinner for me almost every night of the week, but her food is almost inedible. I don’t know what to do; I keep making excuses as to why I’m not coming home, and I think she is nervous that I have another agenda. How can I tell her that I hate her cooking in a nice way so that she won’t be too offended? -- Bad Cook, Chicago

DEAR BAD COOK: It’s time to roll up your sleeves and start helping out in the kitchen. If you have a specialty you have learned to make, tell her you want to cook for her one night. Ask for her help as you prepare your special meal. From there, ask her if you can share space in the kitchen and plan and cook meals together. She may not agree to it every day, but push for it on a regular basis.

Next, you can enroll the two of you in cooking classes. This is a way to promote togetherness and improve her cooking skills. As long as you are up for the challenge, you do not have to say anything to her about her culinary abilities. Instead, foster learning and growing together as a couple in the kitchen. Using recipes helps tremendously in improving people’s cooking abilities. Buy cookbooks for your girlfriend in cuisine categories that you and she enjoy. You can creatively support her and your meals together without making her feel bad about her culinary repertoire.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)