DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a shy 13-year-old. I recently went to the eye doctor, and I found out I need glasses. I don’t want glasses, and my mom won’t let me use contacts. Glasses make me look like a bug. I am very anxious. How do I cope with it? -- Four Eyes, Denver

DEAR FOUR EYES: I feel your pain! I have been wearing glasses since I was in the fifth grade, and trust me, when I was growing up, the selection available for glasses was limited, and I was teased on a daily basis -- in the beginning.

The great news today is that you have plenty of choices of frames that will NOT make you look like a bug! I promise. You need to try on a wide variety of frames, including clear plastic frames, rimless frames and others.

The next thing is to have the optometrist look at your prescription. If it is strong, chances are, your lenses may need to be thick in order to correct your vision. Once again, there is a workaround for that. Today, you can get compressed lenses that will shrink the thickness of your glasses while still giving you the sharpness of sight needed. Shop around to find a store that will fill your prescription affordably. Once you find frames that you like, you may also consider buying your glasses online.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 8-year-old sister keeps telling me that she wants a fish for her birthday. I want to get her something different, but she is being very persistent about this fish. My parents don’t want the fish either, because they are going to be the ones taking care of it. My sister says she will clean the tank and feed it, but she won’t. I need to gear her in another direction and toward a different gift. How do you suggest I do that? -- Beyond the Fish, New York City

DEAR BEYOND THE FISH: It is your parents’ responsibility to deal with your sister and the fish. They may even want to decide to get her a fish, show her how to care for it and then leave it to her to follow through. If she does not, the fish will die, and sadly, she will see cause and effect in action.

For you, ask your sister what else she wants for her birthday. Think about her interests and throw out some ideas to get her creativity flowing. Also, point out to her that even though it’s her birthday, she won’t always get exactly what she wants, so it is smart to have a few ideas. Encourage her to think about fun, affordable ideas that do not require so much responsibility. If you are able to get her to consider another option, you will be helping her and your parents immeasurably.

But still, do know that it is your parents’ role to manage the pet issue. My daughter has always wanted a dog. I am allergic (even to hypoallergenic ones), so we aren’t getting one, and she is clear about that -- even though she continues to ask from time to time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I found a recent segment on "60 Minutes" -- regarding modern technology and the overuse of smartphones by teenagers -- concerning. The report noted that the goal of these phones and available applications on these devices is to compel overuse by stimulating pleasure hormones in the brain to the point of addiction for many users, particularly teenager users.

My concern is just that -- my 17-year-old is obsessed with his iPhone and Snapchat. I have the hardest time getting him to focus on anything without checking his phone every two minutes. As a rising senior in high school, I am concerned that this has impacted his studies, motivation and focus on what he needs to get ahead of his college admissions, and it seems to have deterred his willingness to complete his responsibilities at home. Since I cannot monitor exactly what he is saying or who is in engaged with during all this constant tweeting and texting, I am concerned about the safety and content of these conversations as well. Any advice? -- Enlightened No. 11, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR ENLIGHTENED NO. 11: It seems that mobile phones have replaced the video games of the previous generation, and because they are portable, their use is less controllable. Anything that has the propensity to inspire addiction can be dangerous. You have every reason to be concerned.

As tough as it will be for you to control your son’s behavior at this stage in his development, you should try. For starters, require that he limit the use of his smartphone and any other electronic devices until specific chores and homework are completed. Make an at-home policy of confiscating his phone until you're satisfied with his chores. When he does not have his phone in hand, explain to him how important it is for him to do well on all tests so that he can get into the college of his choice. Be clear that you are not punishing your son; you are protecting him from distractions that could derail his progress. Stay vigilant.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my teenage daughter’s friends gave her a very pretty ring for her birthday. She doesn’t like it, but she feels obligated to wear it and keep it. I told her she could exchange it if she is never going to wear it. She thinks it is disrespectful if she returns it. I don’t know what do to. What do you think? -- Ring Girl, Chicago

DEAR RING GIRL: Talk to your daughter about her relationship with this friend. How close are they? How often do they spend time together? If your daughter thinks she will see this friend a lot, she may want to wear the ring a couple of times and make sure that her friend sees her wearing it. After that, she can put it in her jewelry box and forget about it. If she and the girl are not close, she can return it or exchange it for something she prefers. If asked, she can thank the girl again for the ring and tell her that she replaced it with a ring that was better suited for her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, one of my friends broke up with her boyfriend. She claims that since she hasn’t been single in a long time, she can do whatever she wants with boys. Her actions have been a little out of control. She is betraying her girlfriends, including me. Every time somebody tells her she has changed, she gets really defensive. I have begun to distance myself from her. She keeps asking me what is wrong, or what she did. I am not sure what to do because I want to simply avoid drama, but I also want her to understand what she is doing. -- Girl 4 Girl, Portland, Oregon

DEAR GIRL 4 GIRL: Your friend is giving you permission to tell her the truth. Do it. This doesn’t need to be a prolonged conversation. To protect yourself and avoid drama, as you have said, limit the interaction about this to one main conversation. Agree to speak to your friend. Tell her that you are concerned about her behavior ever since she and her boyfriend broke up. Give her specific examples of things she has done that have been disturbing. Do your best to point to actions that could be directly harmful to your friend as well as those that can and have hurt others. Include how she betrayed you.

Suggest that she get some professional help to work through the pain of her breakup and the reality of her life today. You cannot do this for her, nor can other friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom wants me to get a haircut. My hair is really long -- it goes down to my butt. I haven’t gotten a haircut in over four years because I had a very bad experience. I asked my hairdresser to cut off 4 inches, and she cut off about 8 inches. My hair was so short that it took over a year to grow back to a normal length. I am scarred. My mom is forcing me to go get a haircut but I don’t want one. Since I still live in her house (I am in high school), I have but so much power. What should I do? -- Luv My Hair, Queens, New York

DEAR LUV MY HAIR: Did you know that when you trim your hair every few months, your hair remains healthier and may even grow faster? This is true even if your stylist gets a little scissor-happy, so relax. It is good for you to go to the hairdresser for a trim or cut. Be specific about your desires. As far as length of hair, show your stylist where you want your hair to fall in relation to your shoulder. Implore the stylist not to cut above that line. Bring someone with you who can help reinforce your length limit.

Ultimately, you should get a haircut. You should remember that your hair will grow back. You are fortunate to have hair that grows very long. If you want a better reason, consider cutting your hair more dramatically for a cause, giving it to Locks of Love (locksoflove.org). Many women grow their hair to cut it for this charity that offers hair for wigs for sick children who have suffered hair loss.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)