DEAR HARRIETTE: I found a recent segment on "60 Minutes" -- regarding modern technology and the overuse of smartphones by teenagers -- concerning. The report noted that the goal of these phones and available applications on these devices is to compel overuse by stimulating pleasure hormones in the brain to the point of addiction for many users, particularly teenager users.

My concern is just that -- my 17-year-old is obsessed with his iPhone and Snapchat. I have the hardest time getting him to focus on anything without checking his phone every two minutes. As a rising senior in high school, I am concerned that this has impacted his studies, motivation and focus on what he needs to get ahead of his college admissions, and it seems to have deterred his willingness to complete his responsibilities at home. Since I cannot monitor exactly what he is saying or who is in engaged with during all this constant tweeting and texting, I am concerned about the safety and content of these conversations as well. Any advice? -- Enlightened No. 11, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR ENLIGHTENED NO. 11: It seems that mobile phones have replaced the video games of the previous generation, and because they are portable, their use is less controllable. Anything that has the propensity to inspire addiction can be dangerous. You have every reason to be concerned.

As tough as it will be for you to control your son’s behavior at this stage in his development, you should try. For starters, require that he limit the use of his smartphone and any other electronic devices until specific chores and homework are completed. Make an at-home policy of confiscating his phone until you're satisfied with his chores. When he does not have his phone in hand, explain to him how important it is for him to do well on all tests so that he can get into the college of his choice. Be clear that you are not punishing your son; you are protecting him from distractions that could derail his progress. Stay vigilant.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my teenage daughter’s friends gave her a very pretty ring for her birthday. She doesn’t like it, but she feels obligated to wear it and keep it. I told her she could exchange it if she is never going to wear it. She thinks it is disrespectful if she returns it. I don’t know what do to. What do you think? -- Ring Girl, Chicago

DEAR RING GIRL: Talk to your daughter about her relationship with this friend. How close are they? How often do they spend time together? If your daughter thinks she will see this friend a lot, she may want to wear the ring a couple of times and make sure that her friend sees her wearing it. After that, she can put it in her jewelry box and forget about it. If she and the girl are not close, she can return it or exchange it for something she prefers. If asked, she can thank the girl again for the ring and tell her that she replaced it with a ring that was better suited for her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, one of my friends broke up with her boyfriend. She claims that since she hasn’t been single in a long time, she can do whatever she wants with boys. Her actions have been a little out of control. She is betraying her girlfriends, including me. Every time somebody tells her she has changed, she gets really defensive. I have begun to distance myself from her. She keeps asking me what is wrong, or what she did. I am not sure what to do because I want to simply avoid drama, but I also want her to understand what she is doing. -- Girl 4 Girl, Portland, Oregon

DEAR GIRL 4 GIRL: Your friend is giving you permission to tell her the truth. Do it. This doesn’t need to be a prolonged conversation. To protect yourself and avoid drama, as you have said, limit the interaction about this to one main conversation. Agree to speak to your friend. Tell her that you are concerned about her behavior ever since she and her boyfriend broke up. Give her specific examples of things she has done that have been disturbing. Do your best to point to actions that could be directly harmful to your friend as well as those that can and have hurt others. Include how she betrayed you.

Suggest that she get some professional help to work through the pain of her breakup and the reality of her life today. You cannot do this for her, nor can other friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom wants me to get a haircut. My hair is really long -- it goes down to my butt. I haven’t gotten a haircut in over four years because I had a very bad experience. I asked my hairdresser to cut off 4 inches, and she cut off about 8 inches. My hair was so short that it took over a year to grow back to a normal length. I am scarred. My mom is forcing me to go get a haircut but I don’t want one. Since I still live in her house (I am in high school), I have but so much power. What should I do? -- Luv My Hair, Queens, New York

DEAR LUV MY HAIR: Did you know that when you trim your hair every few months, your hair remains healthier and may even grow faster? This is true even if your stylist gets a little scissor-happy, so relax. It is good for you to go to the hairdresser for a trim or cut. Be specific about your desires. As far as length of hair, show your stylist where you want your hair to fall in relation to your shoulder. Implore the stylist not to cut above that line. Bring someone with you who can help reinforce your length limit.

Ultimately, you should get a haircut. You should remember that your hair will grow back. You are fortunate to have hair that grows very long. If you want a better reason, consider cutting your hair more dramatically for a cause, giving it to Locks of Love (locksoflove.org). Many women grow their hair to cut it for this charity that offers hair for wigs for sick children who have suffered hair loss.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few days ago, I waited for my best friend to come outside of her home for 30 minutes. I ended up leaving and eating at a restaurant alone so I could continue with my day. She never apologizes when this scenario happens because she justifies it I can always carry on with our plan without her. Should I cease the invites until she figures out how to read a clock? -- Get Out, Philadelphia

DEAR GET OUT: Let’s start with a few questions for you: Did you ring the bell to see what was taking so long? Do you know if she was in her house? Why did you wait that long? In order to wrestle free from whatever hold your “best” friend has over you, you must look honestly at how she treats you. It is unacceptable to make you wait for so long with no excuse -- worse, that she does it repeatedly.

Stop making plans to meet your friend. Plan activities for yourself that do not include her. Do your best to consider how you can comfortably broaden your network of friends. You have to find healthy ways to do other things that do not involve your so-called “best friend.” When she calls you on it, tell her that a best friend wouldn’t treat you like that. Ask her to treat you with respect by showing up on time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My stepmother has never been a welcome member of our family due to her role in my parents' divorce. My siblings and I have never gotten her a present for her birthday or Christmas, and we usually send her a generic birthday or holiday text. Now that we are in our 20s, I brought up the idea of purchasing “Melanie” a gift for her birthday and was met with resistance from my sister, who cannot understand why I’d want to bury the hatchet.

Would buying Melanie a birthday present seem like I’ve forgiven her for her past? I just don’t think it’s healthy to drag out drama from decades ago. -- In the Present, Phoenix

DEAR IN THE PRESENT: Congratulations on attempting to turn the page in your family. Whatever occurred years ago is in the past. Your effort to acknowledge your stepmother in the present is smart for everyone. Believe it or not, holding on to grudges is more harmful to those holding on than on the object of their scorn. Letting go and forgiving is liberating for you and everyone else. You all deserve a fresh start. It doesn’t mean that you forget the past. It means that you choose to live in the here and now and figure out a way forward, preferably together.

Stay your course. Encourage your siblings to let go of their old wounds and to focus on today. Ask them to follow your lead and view your stepmother in terms of who she is and how she has been involved in your family over time. Make a concerted effort to establish a meaningful bond with her. She will never replace your mother, but she can and should be a positive part of your family dynamic.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)