DEAR HARRIETTE: A few days ago, I waited for my best friend to come outside of her home for 30 minutes. I ended up leaving and eating at a restaurant alone so I could continue with my day. She never apologizes when this scenario happens because she justifies it I can always carry on with our plan without her. Should I cease the invites until she figures out how to read a clock? -- Get Out, Philadelphia

DEAR GET OUT: Let’s start with a few questions for you: Did you ring the bell to see what was taking so long? Do you know if she was in her house? Why did you wait that long? In order to wrestle free from whatever hold your “best” friend has over you, you must look honestly at how she treats you. It is unacceptable to make you wait for so long with no excuse -- worse, that she does it repeatedly.

Stop making plans to meet your friend. Plan activities for yourself that do not include her. Do your best to consider how you can comfortably broaden your network of friends. You have to find healthy ways to do other things that do not involve your so-called “best friend.” When she calls you on it, tell her that a best friend wouldn’t treat you like that. Ask her to treat you with respect by showing up on time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My stepmother has never been a welcome member of our family due to her role in my parents' divorce. My siblings and I have never gotten her a present for her birthday or Christmas, and we usually send her a generic birthday or holiday text. Now that we are in our 20s, I brought up the idea of purchasing “Melanie” a gift for her birthday and was met with resistance from my sister, who cannot understand why I’d want to bury the hatchet.

Would buying Melanie a birthday present seem like I’ve forgiven her for her past? I just don’t think it’s healthy to drag out drama from decades ago. -- In the Present, Phoenix

DEAR IN THE PRESENT: Congratulations on attempting to turn the page in your family. Whatever occurred years ago is in the past. Your effort to acknowledge your stepmother in the present is smart for everyone. Believe it or not, holding on to grudges is more harmful to those holding on than on the object of their scorn. Letting go and forgiving is liberating for you and everyone else. You all deserve a fresh start. It doesn’t mean that you forget the past. It means that you choose to live in the here and now and figure out a way forward, preferably together.

Stay your course. Encourage your siblings to let go of their old wounds and to focus on today. Ask them to follow your lead and view your stepmother in terms of who she is and how she has been involved in your family over time. Make a concerted effort to establish a meaningful bond with her. She will never replace your mother, but she can and should be a positive part of your family dynamic.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was always overweight as a teen and young adult. I recently lost a considerable amount of weight. Although I am happy with this change, I hate when people comment only on my appearance and tell me how much more attractive I am now that I've shed the pounds. Is there any way I can steer the conversation to my personality or accomplishments that don’t have to do with how I look to other people? It seriously irks me that people just give their unsolicited opinions on my body. -- Don’t Want It, Glen Burnie, Maryland

DEAR DON’T WANT IT: We live in a culture that is obsessed with the way people look, so you will be hard-pressed to avoid this commentary. For now, do your best to take their comments as the compliments that the givers believe they are offering. It is unlikely that the commenters have any idea how offensive their remarks are.

Rather than dwelling on their words, focus on you. Thank yourself for losing weight. It is good for your health. The side effect is that you may appear fitter, healthier or otherwise more appealing to others. Stay on course, regardless of what others say to you. You know that losing weight is good for your heart and your body overall.

For those commenters who are friends, change the conversation by inviting them to participate in activities with you that you now enjoy. A group walk can be fun and invigorating. When you receive a compliment, say thank you and then pivot. For those who are relentless, remind them that you didn’t entertain commentary about your weight when you were heavier, and you aren’t going to start now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am recently single after a 25-year marriage, and I am attempting to get back in the dating scene because I do not want to be alone. My teenage daughters just made fun of me and told me I had the “worst game” they’ve ever seen. I tried to set up a date with one of their friend’s fathers, and it didn’t go over smoothly. I am too old for dating apps, and I lost many friends following the split, so how else can I find someone? I need to get my mind off of ending up alone. -- All By Myself, New Orleans

DEAR ALL BY MYSELF: It is time to put yourself back on the scene in ways that make you comfortable. Enter: extracurricular activities. What do you like to do in your free time? Or what do you think you would like to do? Enroll in a class. Join walking tours in your city. Become a docent at the local museum. Put yourself out there where other people are. Then pay attention. If you notice someone who seems interesting, don’t be shy. Go over and introduce yourself. It may feel like high school, and it’s OK to feel awkward. Everything that makes up who you are will be appealing to someone. Just be yourself and get out there.

Don’t give up on the web apps, though. Many couples have met using the internet as a catalyst.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Against my wishes, my preteen daughter watched an online show that is very graphic in terms of sexual assault, underage drinking and suicide. I only know that she watched it after looking at her online account, and I don’t know if I should punish her or use this as a teachable moment. I’m sure sitting down with her mother to talk about these hard-hitting topics would be enough to make her squirm, but my husband thinks I should just take away access to the streaming service. How should I react to my daughter going behind my back? -- All Topics Welcome, Seattle

DEAR ALL TOPICS WELCOME: As the mother of a 13-year-old, I am well aware of the Netflix series "13 Reasons Why," which has garnered a tremendous amount of attention this year. My daughter told me about it, stating that she and her friends were watching it, and she thought I should, too. At about this same time, the entire school system -- public and private -- in New York City was asked to talk to students about the content of the series and to check in with students on how they were managing.

Without question, the subject matter is disturbing. Through dramatic narrative, suicide and the reasons leading up to it, including virtually every potential area of teenage exploration, are illustrated. Yes, some of the scenes and content are disturbing. I took it as a teachable moment. I watched the entire series, including the synopsis at the end, which is essential. I have since participated in ongoing dialogue with my daughter about it.

Her school had someone come in to talk to the students, which helped to a point. The challenge was that the professional had not yet watched the series when the conversation occurred, so he lost credibility.

For you, as a parent, do not shut the door on this. Watch the series -- every episode. Contemplate what you see and what it means to you as well as what you think it may mean for a preteen girl and her friends. Ask your daughter what she thought about the series. Find out how much she watched. Inquire as to what she and her friends are talking about related to the show. Ask if she knows of any students who use drugs, engage in sexual activity or have considered suicide. Do not press. Build a conversation with her. Do not punish her. Instead, let her know that you want her to check in with you before watching questionable content, meaning anything that isn’t G or PG. The better you are at opening the door to communication, the better your chances are at building a rapport with your daughter that will help her weather the teenage years and its endless conflicts with strength and focus.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)