DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a sophomore in college, and I feel like I’m still getting tested by my peers. This past April Fools' Day, my friends dragged my mattress out onto the street, filled my blow-dryer with baby powder and put mayonnaise in my shoes. I enjoy a good prank, but I seriously believe this went too far. My shoes are ruined, my blow-dryer is not back to normal and I had to haul my mattress back upstairs all alone. Do I have the right to be upset, or should I ease up in the spirit of the holiday? -- Too Much, Atlanta

DEAR TOO MUCH: You have every right to be upset by your friends’ behavior. Indeed, these are not the kind of friends you really want -- meaning people who would go to such lengths to embarrass you and damage your property. You should absolutely speak up and let them know, in no equivocal terms, that you think they went too far and that you do not appreciate it.

Further, you have to think about how they behave normally. College is the time when you must make choices about how you spend your time, and with whom. I recommend that you reconsider these friends to determine how much positive engagement you have with them and whether you honestly think they are worth your time.

Extricating yourself from friendships isn’t easy, no matter how old you are. Evaluate your own behavior and that of your friends and peers. What do you value, and who shares your values? Based upon your answers, edit your friend group to those who would most likely choose to treat you with respect, even when they are teasing you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my biggest pet peeves is when somebody plays their music out loud instead of using headphones. When you are on the bus or subway, this is outrageous. I feel like a hostage having to listen to people blasting their music, making a tinny loud sound that nobody wants to hear, even if I happen to like the song. I believe it is rude to assume everyone around you wants to listen to your music or video selection. Is it rude to play your music out loud, or is this just my belief? I have always found it incredibly annoying. -- Bad DJ, New York City

DEAR BAD DJ: Preach! Seriously, it is invasive for someone to play music in public contained spaces without using earphones. I will take this one step further, too: Depending upon your earphones, even when you are wearing them, if they are not soundproof, people around you can still hear whatever you are playing -- and you may very well not realize it.

To all of you who are reading who listen to music in public, pay close attention to figure out if others can hear you. Obviously, you should wear headphones or ear buds, but beyond that, do a sound check to determine if your sound system is doing its job.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My birthday just passed, and my husband got me a “pricey” perfume that I wanted. I use quotations because upon opening it, I saw that it was a knockoff brand. I don’t think he knows this perfume is not the one I wanted at all because the outside packaging was nearly identical. Should I tell him or just throw the fake perfume out, hoping he won’t notice? -- Fake Gift, Real Sentiment, Detroit

DEAR FAKE GIFT, REAL SENTIMENT: Happy belated birthday! Thank goodness you asked before acting! In this case, it really is the thought that counts. Your husband went out of his way to buy you want you wanted. He may have gone to a place where many fragrances are sold -- at a discount. It is unlikely that he knew he was buying a phony fragrance. I suggest that you suck it up and just keep the fragrance without pointing out the mistake.

If, however, he pays attention to see if you use the fragrance -- and you don’t like its aroma -- you will have to come clean and let him know how much you appreciate his intention, but he got duped. If he buys you fragrance again and it’s a knockoff, you definitely have to tell him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I accidentally emailed a client from my personal email, which sports a pretty embarrassing nickname as the username. I know this was a rookie mistake, and I plan to screen all of my emails before doing that again; however, I don’t know if I should apologize for how unprofessional it was for me to email the client from this email.

Should I apologize or ignore this mistake? I thought I should just move on, but my wife thinks I should apologize. -- You’ve Got Mail, Portland, Oregon

DEAR YOU’VE GOT MAIL: I’m with your wife on this one. If your client received the email, he definitely saw the email address. If he kept the email, that address will show up time and again whenever he goes back to see that communication.

Get in front of this by telling him that you are terribly sorry that you sent a communication to him via this email. Admit that you pushed “send” too quickly, and it attached to an old personal email account. You should be the first one to laugh at yourself and your silly nickname. Drawing your client on board in a way that bonds the two of you is a good idea. Just do not belabor the point. Address it and move on.

By the way, say this to your client in person or via phone call. Do not create an email trail by writing it down. Just tell him that you are sorry for the misfire, and it won’t happen again. The end.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate’s boyfriend spends more time at our home than at his own. He sleeps over, cooks, showers and does laundry here. Since he uses our resources, I proposed asking “Jake” to contribute to bills, which we split evenly. My roommate freaked out and refused to even acknowledge that I had the right to ask. How else could I have started the conversation? -- Up Front, Miami

DEAR UP FRONT: Generally, no good comes out of these situations, I’m sorry to say. Of course the boyfriend should share the costs, but getting your roommate to put her foot down on that is usually a losing battle. The one time that you can get traction on such a situation is if the landlord steps in and says that anyone living in the apartment for an extended period of time must pay. But that works only if you have something written into your contract to that point, or if your landlord and you have enough muscle to guilt the boyfriend out. Otherwise, what often happens is that hurt feelings come to a boiling point and somebody moves. So, get ready.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My landlord has been walking into my house unannounced. Being a 20-year-old woman, this unnerves me, and I don't know how to approach my landlord about this behavior. He is also a police officer, so I feel stuck on how to react to him. These visits are to remind us of bills and to not have parties in the home, but a text would suffice. How do I get my landlord to respect my rights as a renter? -- Closed Door, Rochester, New York

DEAR CLOSED DOOR: You have the right to be in your apartment by yourself without your landlord coming in. Period. It will take a bit of courage for you to address your landlord, but you must do it. For starters, speak to him and let him know that it makes you uncomfortable that he comes into your space unannounced. Ask him to stop.

Secondly, hire a locksmith. Yes, you should spend $100 or so to get an additional lock put on your door. Your landlord may not appreciate this, so don’t tell him. Unless there is a clear stipulation in your contract about locks, you absolutely can do this. Do your best to organize the locksmith at an hour when your landlord is not likely to be home, to cut down on any friction that may come. Get a top lock added to your door. When he questions you about it, remind him that you felt uneasy with him entering your apartment without permission. Tell him that it works much better for you to communicate with him by phone, text or email. Ask him to respect your privacy by engaging you in one of these ways. It will be very important for you to follow his house rules after this, because he will likely feel embarrassed and angry about your assertive stance. Go for it, and document his behavior, too!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)