DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate told me I can't bring any strangers home. This lecture came after my boyfriend and I broke up. While I was first offended that she thought I would cope with my breakup by flinging myself at any available man, I am now offended that she thinks she has the right to dictate what happens in the space we share -- and we both pay for. I would never tell her that her boyfriend isn’t allowed over! I understand strangers are different, but I think it’s time for us to have a conversation about boundaries.

How can I tell her the assumptions about me are offensive while maintaining that I can do whatever I want? I have a quick temper, and she is known for her attitude. -- Not My Boss, Detroit

DEAR NOT MY BOSS: You and your roommate need a serious sit-down. Since both of you can inflame quickly, attempt a calm, neutral approach. Ask your roommate why she told you that you cannot bring strangers home. Give her space to explain herself. Then let her know that you found her “rule” offensive for many reasons. Outline those reasons. Speak about your personal values and your rights as a renter. Have clear objectives for this meeting that should include coming to an agreement before it ends. Of course, you should both be mindful of who gets to come into your home, but how you determine guidelines has to be mutual. If you both share the rent, you both have a voice.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My landlord and I started our relationship off very friendly. When I go away for work, which is frequently, he brings in my mail and keeps my thermostat low.

A few months ago, he said a bill came to my home and he paid it so I wouldn't have late fees. Grateful, I paid him back the amount owed, which was pretty on par with what my expenses have been. Now, he has done this twice more, and I suspect he is scheming me. I feel trapped by the money he says I owe him. I have paid for “heat” twice in 6 weeks. This is my first time living alone, and I don't know what to do to establish a boundary between us. -- Not a Sucker, Pittsburgh

DEAR NOT A SUCKER: It is time for you to get more formal with your landlord and for you to accept more responsibility for your home. This means you can lower your own thermostat before you go away. You absolutely should not pay a bill without having a copy of it for your records.

Schedule a time to talk to your landlord. Thank him for being so supportive. Then let him know that you are going to step up and handle your affairs more directly. Ask him for copies of the bills that you have reimbursed him for. Moving forward, do not pay any bills without seeing them with your own eyes.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live a healthy lifestyle in which I try to get plenty of exercise and eat unprocessed foods. It’s something that I am passionate about and have fun with. Recently, I have had distant friends from college and even high school reach out to me for nutritional and diet advice. While I am always eager to share a few pearls of wisdom, the truth of the matter is that I am not a nutritionist, nor do I have time to pretend to be one. Do I have to respond to every message I get? I feel guilty, but ultimately I know these people will not heed my advice for more than a few days. -- No Fitness Guru, Chester, Pennsylvania

DEAR NO FITNESS GURU: What’s happening is that your friends and loved ones are seeing the positive effects of your smart life choices, and they want the same for themselves. This is fantastic. However, it can feel like a burden, as you have described. To the best of your ability, don’t shrug them off. You can recommend that they follow a healthy path, which starts by getting a complete physical to find out their health status.

Be clear to your friends that you are not a nutritionist, and you do not have the knowledge or authority to tell them how to change their lifestyles. When you talk about nutrition or exercise, frame it about yourself, because that’s all you have the expertise to discuss. If they ask you what they should do, suggest that they get their own nutritionist or trainer.

If you continue to get a barrage of requests for nutritional and diet advice, consider writing a blog about your personal experiences. When people ask, point them to your blog to check out what you know.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I take medication for ADD, and I have lost around 15 pounds because I have been forgetting to eat. My medication completely subdues my appetite, and I notice I haven’t eaten only when I feel weak and sluggish. I know many people have the opposite problem with food, but people have expressed their concern for my figure, not knowing that I am on medication. How can I remind myself to eat when I don’t get hungry anymore? -- Higher Dosages, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR HIGHER DOSES: Your first stop needs to be to your doctor to make sure that your dosage is right. Ask about the side effect of such a dramatic lack of appetite. You may need an adjustment in your prescription, which only your doctor can address.

What you can do is practical. Set an alarm on your phone or travel clock every four hours. When it sounds, that’s time to eat something, whether it is a healthy snack or a full meal. Using technology to support your health can make it easier for you to remember to eat. Be sure to be prepared with foods that will nourish your body. Your responsibility in this is essential for you to establish balance in your health.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: This past Martin Luther King Jr. Day, I used the day off to volunteer. I went to an event that invited elderly civil rights activists from all over the country. I had the opportunity to sit next to a woman who began protesting racism at age 10. While talking to her, she revealed that she didn’t support women’s rights or LGBTQ rights, and she voted for a candidate who shared her same views this election.

I was stunned; I admire her for her activism, yet I disagree with her on so many other topics. I wanted to challenge some of her opinions, but I was taught to never talk back to my elders. Could I have pressed her more on why some topics mattered to her, but not the others? -- Respectful Youngster, Boston

DEAR RESPECTFUL YOUNGSTER: Too bad you didn’t engage this woman more to learn more deeply about her views. The way to do it is to ask questions. Ask lots of questions so that you get greater insight into what the elder thinks. The challenging component could be offered through the framing of questions, delivered in a neutral tone so that you continue to speak respectfully even as you work to get perspective on why the elder draws the line on some issues and not others. This strategy for gleaning information, by the way, is helpful with peers as well.

You are more likely to get honest, open answers about how people think when they feel that they are being heard and that their comments are welcome. This doesn’t mean you must agree with them, but being open to receiving them creates space for them to be offered.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been recently hired as a copywriter. This part-time gig puts me below the level of assistant. I have been getting pestered by the assistant in and out of work hours about my progress. I am frustrated because I feel like she is concentrating her lack of power onto me because I am the only person below her. I don’t want to be put out of a job, but I cannot be receiving multiple text messages and calls on days that I am not even working! -- Fed Up, Austin, Texas

DEAR FED UP: Do some sleuthing at your job to get a sense of how you can ensure that your work is properly received by the boss above this assistant. Figure out the office dynamics, and work to forge relationships with this woman as well as others in the office. Be kind to her at all times.

When you are not at work, don’t be so available. If you receive texts during your off hours, do not respond immediately unless it seems to be an emergency. Also, let the assistant know that when you aren’t at work, you are often unavailable to communicate with the office. You do not have to go into detail as to what you are doing. Just draw the line about how accessible you can be -- without being rude. Assure her that you will have your work in on time and that if you have any questions or concerns, you will let her know.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)