DEAR HARRIETTE: My entire family has lived in New Jersey and Pennsylvania for generations. We all live within two hours of each other, and we see each other all the time. I have been exploring blogs and social media more and more, and I think that Seattle may be the city for me. I love the West Coast, the lifestyle and the natural beauty found all around, but I hate how guilty I'd feel if I pursued this dream. I plan on visiting Seattle very soon. If I do end up moving, how can I cope with my fear of missing out on my family events? I've never even missed a birthday. -- Hits Close to Home, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR HITS CLOSE TO HOME: You are right to be concerned about your next steps. Longing for the West Coast is real and understandable. Seattle is a beautiful, welcoming city that offers a lifestyle and access to nature far different from your East Coast way of living. Clearly, there is value in that, which may be enough to point you in that direction.

What you have to decide is if you will be able to reduce the amount of time that you physically see your family over the course of a given year. The work that you secure and what your resources look like will determine whether you can afford to go home more than a few times a year. You will not be able to see your family as often as you do now.

But thanks to social media and the internet, you absolutely can stay in close touch with your relatives. I have a sister who lives in Los Angeles, and my mother lives in Pikesville, Maryland. They speak every single day and have for all of the years that my sister has been gone. Even though they see each other rarely, they have a very close bond. Can you manage that? Or can you handle it for a few years? It might be that you go West for a while and then head back home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is turning 13, and many of her friends are having bar and bat mitzvah parties. Suddenly, I am being asked to purchase multiple dresses and gifts for these parties. What seemed like a lot of fun and a wonderful coming-of-age experience is making me broke. How can I help my daughter feel comfortable and enjoy herself even though she isn't Jewish -- all while staying on a budget? -- Partied Out, Westchester, New York

DEAR PARTIED OUT: You have to set a realistic budget for what you can afford, and stick to it. Talk to your daughter about how pleased you are that she is being included in her friends' celebrations and that you need to develop a strategy that the family can manage.

In terms of attire, your daughter should have a couple of simple dresses that she can wear more than once with different accessories. Just make sure it is not too brightly colored or unique so that it can transition well. For gifts, go modest. Ask the parents for ideas. Some families say no gifts or offer to a charity, in which case you can make a modest donation in the child's name. Giving money (or donating to charity) in multiples of $18 is symbolic of giving "chai," which means "life" in Hebrew.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My grandchildren don't answer my emails. This is infuriating to me because I am not so quick with computers, and it takes me quite some time to email all of them individually. I have mentioned in person that they don't respond to my emails, and I receive empty promises that they will start. They are in different cities across the United States, while I am in Florida.

It's thankless to be a grandmother to grandchildren who don't take time to respond to you every day. I don't want to give up on them, but they seem to have left me no choice. -- Tech Grandma, Melbourne, Florida

DEAR TECH GRANDMA: When I read your note carefully, I see that you expect your grandchildren to respond to you on a daily basis. I hate to tell you this, but that is unrealistic. Your grandchildren are busy with their lives. Between school, extracurricular activities, chores and homework, there is not much time left in the day for them to focus on anything else -- even their beloved grandmother. You will do better at getting their attention and a response if you demand less of them.

Your life is, naturally, much less busy than theirs, so you notice when they are not connecting to you. But your schedules are completely different. Step back a bit and give them breathing room. Write to them occasionally, maybe once a week. Let them miss you a bit. And don't ask them for anything. Sometimes they will respond, and sometimes they won't. Feel out a natural rhythm between you that is comfortable on all sides.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I can't understand my assistant's Welsh accent. When she speaks quickly, it is as though I am listening to a foreign language. I don't want to appear uncultured by asking her to repeat most of what she says, yet we communicate best through email even though we work just 20 feet away from each other. She has been on the job for two weeks, and already we've had a few big miscommunications. I don't want her to feel self-conscious, but I need to be able to comprehend my assistant! She understands 99 percent of what I say, so the misunderstanding is coming from my part. -- Accent on the Accent, Chicago

DEAR ACCENT ON THE ACCENT: Your assistant knows that she speaks differently from Americans. You two should talk about it directly. Explain to her that you need her to slow down and regularly repeat herself until you grasp her accent better. Tell her that you are trying, but that often you misinterpret her spoken words.

Slowing down and articulating with intention is my No. 1 suggestion for improving your understanding. Use written communication as an insurance policy: Make sure you both agree on what you have said.

As long as you never tease her about her accent, and instead support her to learn how to speak so that everyone in the office understands her, you will be of great service.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: How old must someone be for me to stand up and let him or her take my seat? For example, I was sitting on the bus, and two middle-aged men got on after me and didn't have a seat. I am younger than them by a few decades, so I debated standing up so one of them could sit on the journey. I didn't end up doing it because I didn't want to offend anyone with assumptions about their age or health. I want to know what the right thing to do is for next time. -- Take a Seat, New York City

DEAR TAKE A SEAT: Great question. I have had that very experience of offering a seat to an older man, who seemed offended by my offer. My suggestion is that you play it by ear. In the case of your two gentlemen, unless one of them had a cane or was otherwise obviously infirm, it is best to leave them alone. Offering to one man and not the other could create an unintended setup for endless chiding between them about who is feeble.

Generally, when you are riding public transportation, survey your surroundings constantly. When someone gets on board who seems like he or she would benefit from a seat -- regardless of the person's age -- immediately and quietly offer to give up your seat. If the person passes, do not make a fuss of it. By the way, a parent and young child are often better seated than standing and wiggling everywhere.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boss has brought her sick son to work a few times this month. As the weather gets colder, I understand that kids get sick. However, I don't think a snot-covered, sneezing 5-year-old is helping the office stay healthy. I know I can't ban my boss from bringing her son to work. How can I protect my health while protecting my job? My boss is obsessed with her son and rarely leaves him with sitters. -- Bring Your (Sick) Kid to Work Day, Philadelphia

DEAR BRING YOUR (SICK) KID TO WORK DAY: This is a tough one, because your boss is juggling work and family in the midst of a health crisis. It is a no-win situation. Rather than complain, you should invest in facemasks, Lysol and antiseptic wipes. Seriously. Keep your area very clean to cut down on germs. Wear a facemask when the child or anyone else is sick in the office. Take it off only when you have to go to a meeting or leave the building.

If you are questioned by your boss -- or anybody else, for that matter -- about the facemask, be upfront and state that you are trying hard not to get sick. Point out that you understand why the child has to come to work sick, but you don't want the result to be that you get ill.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)