DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been with my boyfriend for two years now, and I am 34 years old. We have spoken about marriage and children, and I have been quite candid with him in saying that I would rather have children than get married. I don't know if I will be able to spend the rest of my life with Bob, but I do want children, and I think he'd be a great father. Bob seems OK with this, so I have been struggling with finding a way to tell my dad and stepmom that I'm ready for children, but not for marriage. I tried sitting them down, and they immediately began pre-emptively congratulating me on my engagement. How do I start this tricky conversation? -- No Ring, Denver

DEAR NO RING: I remember my father asking me what I thought about having children without being married. My father was a conservative man who worried about social conventions but also about my safety and comfort. He was extremely concerned about how I would manage if, hypothetically, I had a child without having a husband. If your dad and stepmom are anything like my father, good luck trying to convince them of the value of your idea. It could simply be out of their ability to welcome -- even if they ultimately have to accept it.

That said, what you can do is think through your idea very carefully. Plan out what you believe you will need to care for a child without the "guarantee" of an engaged spouse. This includes money, emotional support, child care, etc. Imagine your needs, and talk to other friends who have children to learn what to expect. Determine what Bob will agree to do "forever" for his child, even if you do marry or get involved with someone else -- or vice versa. Make an agreement with him so that you are as sure as you can be about the nature of that commitment.

When you feel that you are responsibly set, tell your parents. Ask for their support and love even if they don't understand. If you are blessed to have a child, your parents' love for the baby will supersede their judgment of your decision.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I own a big old pickup truck, passed down from my grandfather, who used it to transport sheep. I was driving home from my sister's house, a 4-hour drive on the highway, and when I stopped for gas, I realized a suitcase had fallen out of my trunk. This suitcase was full of my passed friend's belongings. I feel so guilty and so stupid. I know it was an accident, but I can't help but blame myself. I tried driving to find it, but it was a fruitless endeavor. Should I tell his family what happened or keep this to myself since he gave me the suitcase and its contents? -- Falling Apart, Detroit

DEAR FALLING APART: If you were charged with transporting the suitcase to your friend's family, by law you must tell them. If your friend gave you the suitcase to dispose of or keep as you wish, you can just let it be. Bringing up the loss will be hurtful. Do so only if it is necessary.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in a male-dominated workplace. In college, I got used to being one of the only women in the room and thought it'd be similar in the workplace. Yet my first job involves male co-workers quieting down significantly when I enter a meeting, or cracking inappropriate jokes when they think I'm not listening. I am nobody's boss, so I don't have much power in the office, but I wonder if I can grin and bear it until I have a few years to put on my resume. Is it worth my while to mention something to these men who won't change? -- Solo Female, Syracuse, New York

DEAR SOLO FEMALE: In 2016, I want to believe that it will make a difference if you speak up. You might start by speaking in a light-hearted manner the next time one of them cracks an inappropriate joke, and remark that you really don't appreciate that type of talk. You could go one step further, if you feel it is warranted, and say that so-called "locker room talk" is offensive, and you would appreciate that they stop. If the men do not stop, report them to human resources. Be clear and specific with your report. You will have to name names and recite what you heard or observed.

Pay attention to what the human resources representative says in this matter to learn if you will get any support from your company. That person's reaction will cue you in to whether it is worth it for you to speak up, ignore them and excel at your job anyway, or to plan your exit. This may sound harsh, but unless you are ready and willing to fight a legal battle, if you do not have the support of senior management and you cannot look past the rude behavior, you are left with few choices.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have decided that working out is too expensive. I live in New York City, and the boutique fitness classes like Barre, Spin and Pilates take more out of my wallet than they do my thighs. I love how glamorous it feels to be exercising in a beautiful gym with my friends, but I know I can't financially support this lifestyle. I can't find any motivation to exercise with at-home workouts, so they're a waste of money, too. Is saving up for classes too extreme? I do still have debts to be paying off, but I know health is important. -- Boutique on a Budget, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR BOUTIQUE ON A BUDGET: Whether you take a fancy class or not isn't what will get you fit. Your fitness is attached directly to your self-esteem and desire to be healthy. You have to want it and be willing to commit to doing the work -- no matter what. Just so you know, lots of people pay exorbitant prices for gyms and special classes and don't go.

Consider joining a walking or running group. Many are free. Give yourself manageable fitness goals and timelines for reaching them. If possible, find a buddy who is willing to exercise with you. That can make it more fun and more binding.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am wondering about the etiquette on sending wedding invitations internationally. For example, I have family in Europe who will not be able to attend my daughter's wedding. Should I still be sending them an invitation even though we have spoken and they won't be attending? -- Wedding Post, Baltimore

DEAR WEDDING POST: If you plan on sending wedding announcements with a picture of the couple from the wedding, you can wait to send that to your relatives. That is a nice memento that guests, friends and relatives often appreciate.

Should that not be your plan, feel free to send an invitation to your European family members. Attach a handwritten note that tells them that you are sending the invitation to them as a memento so that they are included in the circle of love, even though they cannot join you on this auspicious day.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always tried to create a healthy kitchen for my two young children. My son, who is bordering the line between toddler and child, will eat only oatmeal for breakfast now. I like to ask my kids what they want to eat instead of forcing something onto them, but I never thought my son would refuse to eat breakfast unless he was being served oatmeal with peanut butter and a banana. I found out he acts this way after he had an outburst at his grandparent's house. How can I speak to him rationally? -- Too Many Oats, Cincinnati

DEAR TOO MANY OATS: Check in with your children's pediatrician to learn what he or she recommends your toddler should eat. Know that oats, especially if cooked from scratch (not instant oats that often have added sugar and preservatives) are great to start the day. Many people eat oatmeal in the morning to help them to be regular. The fiber in the oats is excellent for the digestive system. Now, you can argue that eating the same thing daily may not be ideal. Variety can be helpful to a diet. Before requiring a dietary change in the morning, though, see what the doctor has to say.

I will add that it may seem nice to give your children leeway when it comes to what they eat, but it is also important to teach them about eating in a healthy manner and eating what is served to them. Children need to be introduced to a range of foods so that they learn a variety of flavors and types of food.

Finally, talk to the grandparents. Find out exactly what happened, and get on the same page with them about how you feed your children and what your expectations are of how you want them to be fed when they are in the grandparents' care. The team has to be on the same page in order for your children to stay clear and feel supported as they grow and learn.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)