DEAR HARRIETTE: I am trying to recapture my days as a ski bum. I purchased skis from a friend, and I am working on getting boots and new winter gear. Over the summer, one of my friends told me she has a condo in Vermont that she stays at when she skis. This sounds like reliving my past! I want to score an invite to my friend's ski condo without making it seem like that is the only reason we are friends. How can I speak to her so she doesn't think I am a freeloader? -- Ski Bum, Boston

DEAR SKI BUM: Be straight with your friend. Tell her that you really want to go skiing soon. Tell her that you used to ski when you were young, and you really want to relive those days. With the natural excitement that you are exuding in writing this note to me, tell your friend that you have been working to secure all of the needed gear for skiing in anticipation of being able to go. Ask her if she would be willing to host you at any time this winter. Be honest. Tell her you know that this might be an imposition on her, but your longing to ski again is urging you at least to ask. Be sure to add that if she is not so inclined or if her winter is already booked up, you will totally understand.

Beyond that, contact ski lodges to learn what the cost is for a weekend. You can also ask to speak to the management and plead your case with them. Ask if they can offer you a special deal, and lay out your reasons for making the ask. Sometimes a great human-interest story is worth free publicity. If your story is compelling enough, they may agree to host you in exchange for telling your story to the local media.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I do not have health insurance. I was bouncing around on family plans until I realized I couldn't even see a proper doctor, so I became uninsured. My decision is coming back to bite me. My wisdom tooth is hurting so much I eat painkillers for breakfast. I can't get insurance right now, but I have been considering an out-of-plan dental visit. My mom tells me it'll be so expensive I may as well wait and get insurance. Which option could be cheaper? My tooth is causing me so much pain. -- Tooth Fairy, South Orange, New Jersey

DEAR TOOTH FAIRY: One choice to consider is going to a teaching facility. Sometimes there are medical and dental programs that are offered for free or reduced rates when you are willing to have students conduct the procedures. A friend of mine had major dental work performed by dental students through such a program at New York University. He had dental surgery and implants all for free. This was based on his financial capability and the offerings from the school. Many schools provide this opportunity.

Similarly, I have a friend who is unemployed and who was diagnosed with breast cancer. She researched and identified a hospital that has offered free medical care, including medication, for her ongoing care for five years now. Do not give up on yourself. Research until you find the right fit. Accessible medical help is out there.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: In an effort to lose weight quickly for an event, I went on a strict diet with a few of my friends. This diet promises to have you lose 10 pounds in three days. I was committed, and I saw the results when I fit into the dress I wanted to. My friends, however, each couldn't complete the diet because they were on the verge of fainting by the third morning. I saw results, but they're urging me to never do this again. I would never make every day as strict and bland as this diet does, but a few days can't hurt, right? -- Diet Divas, Laredo, Texas

DEAR DIET DIVAS: Most doctors and nutritionists will tell you that following a diet that promises extremely fast weight loss is not healthy. It may work, as yours did, but there are potential side effects to consider. In rare cases, people have heart attacks and strokes when they lose weight too quickly, for example. Upsetting your metabolism dramatically is not a kind way to treat your body.

Instead of following a crash diet, visit your doctor and get recommendations on how to eat to lose weight. You may also want to get a nutritionist who will design an eating program that will help you to maintain your optimal weight.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My company has decided to start a fitness initiative. A lot of our workers are overweight, so the majority decided to start a few softball teams that play each other occasionally. I didn't join originally because I hate sports, and now I am the only one in the office who isn't attending these events. I want good relations with my co-workers, but I don't want everyone to see me sweat. Is my reluctance to take part in the activities outside of the office going to affect my friendships in the office? -- Hey, Batter, Batter, Cincinnati

DEAR HEY, BATTER, BATTER: I have a couple of different thoughts for you. As it relates to not wanting folks to see you sweat, if every other person is sweating, trust that you will not stand out if you join the party. It may seem awkward to you at first, but getting involved in a sporting activity -- even if you aren't good at it at all -- can be a lot of fun.

If you are unwilling to join in, you can still participate from the sidelines. Consider bringing a camera and taking photos or video while your co-workers are playing. You don't need to go to all of the events, but it is smart for office camaraderie to attend sometimes. Showing that you are part of the team is important. Your office culture now includes some extracurricular sporting activities. Go, watch, talk to your co-workers -- and seriously considering playing. You may change your mind about your blanket statement about hating sports. Give yourself a chance to find out!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a college town, right next door to about 10 college students. They are all girls, which I like because they are not loud or rowdy. However, my gaggle of neighbors seems to take the phrase "borrow it from your neighbor" literally. I have given them a cup of flour, sugar and occasionally baking soda because they have run out or are short for a recipe.

I learned to make sure I have all of my ingredients before starting a recipe. I don't want to be confrontational with the neighbors, especially since they outnumber me, but I don't want to keep giving out freebies! What can I do to draw the line with these girls? -- Cup of Sugar, Syracuse, New York

DEAR CUP OF SUGAR: Just because your neighbors ask you for recipe ingredients on a regular basis doesn't mean you always have to share. I am all for being a good neighbor; I always encourage people to reach out to their neighbors to form strong bonds. But that doesn't mean you have to end up being their ersatz grocery store. You can tell your neighbor students that you don't have whatever ingredient they want. You can even jokingly tell the truth, that you need to hold on to your ingredients so that you can cook your own food. Since you know what items they typically need, you may also want to offer to pick up some ingredients for them the next time you go shopping. If they agree, ask them to give you the money upfront. Then you can give them the ingredient, receipt and change when you return. Be sure to let them know where you bought it, too, so that next time you can remind them of where to shop.

You can find compassion in the knowledge that you are probably teaching them what's appropriate. College students are not just learning about their educational studies; they are also discovering how to live their lives independent of their parents. The simplest of things could be brand-new for them. Consider yourself their teacher.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is preparing to look for internships between the fall and spring semesters at college. She will have about six weeks to work and is prepping to go on interviews. She has had no prior job experience other than being a camp counselor. It is her first year at university. How can she present herself well when she doesn't have any job experience? I have tried running over questions and how to act with her, but I think she's tired of mom's advice. -- First Gig, Pittsburgh

DEAR FIRST GIG: Your daughter should think about all the skills she cultivated at camp, including being on time, being responsible for multiple children's safety and happiness, being a troubleshooter, staying positive under pressure, being a creative problem solver and so forth. She should think of examples to illustrate these skills.

She should also learn everything she can about each job for which she is interviewing so that she can demonstrate her knowledge of the industry. Finally, she should be prepared with questions that illustrate that she wants to learn as much as possible and that she is willing to work hard.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)