DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-boyfriend texts me way too casually. Just a week after our breakup, he texted me with his weekend plans, completely unprovoked. I responded a few hours later, and the conversation ended there. Now he attempts to text me like we didn't date for years! What gives? I thought everyone knew saying that we would "stay friends" is a lie. -- Exes and Nos, Charlotte, NC

DEAR EXES AND NOS: Obviously, your ex didn't get the memo! You need to get in touch with him, preferably not via text. Ask him if the two of you can talk. Then, either face-to-face or on the phone, explain to him that it isn't cool for him to be in touch as if you are old buds. Tell him that you need some space between you and that, even though you hope the two of you will stay pleasant with each other, you are not interested in staying an active part of his life. Wish him well. Tell him you intend to live your life, and he should do the same -- without including you in it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been bitten by the DIY bug. I redid a dining table and realized we can save so much money by putting a little elbow grease into things we own already. However, my wife disapproves of my new hobby because "it's easier to buy something instead of wasting your time." I acknowledged we didn't need to do the DIY project out of necessity, but because it was fun. We're currently debating why I can't build us a couch instead of buying one. How do I get my wife on the DIY craze? -- Do It on My Own, Berkeley, California

DEAR DO IT ON MY OWN: You two need to come to a meeting of the minds. To get your wife to begin to like your new hobby, you have to create boundaries. Tell her how much you love the DIY scene and that it is bringing you tremendous joy. Ask her to indulge you the space to work on projects around the house. Tell her it is important to you to have her blessing. Ask her what you can do so that she will feel comfortable.

For example, if she really wants to buy a new couch, acquiesce to her if in turn she will give you the freedom to build something else. Try to get your wife to agree on projects before you start them, so that she feels like she still has a say in what goes into her house. People can become irrationally territorial when they feel that their turf is threatened. If the home was once her domain, your new interest in building things for it may have gotten her off balance. By acknowledging that and ensuring her that you are not trying to take over, but, instead, hoping to contribute, you may be able to win her over.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I agreed to look after my friend's cat while she goes on vacation. She took care of my dog a few years ago, so I figure I owe her one. After agreeing to cat-sitting and meeting the cat, I realized I am allergic to cats! I have never spent time around cats before, and when I left, I had the telltale signs of allergies: itchy eyes, runny nose and raspy throat. I can take allergy medication to deal with the cat, but she insists I keep it at my house! I read online that cat dander can take seven years to leave a home. Am I still obligated to cat-sit? I would feel crummy dropping out. -- Cat Sitter, Austin, Texas

DEAR CAT SITTER: If possible, you should still care for the cat; however, you do not have to bring the cat to your house. Tell your friend the truth. Explain that you did not know you were allergic to cats and figured it out when you met her cat. Offer a compromise: You will take medication so that you are able to be around the cat, but you cannot bring the cat into your home. Chances are great that the cat will make your home uninhabitable for you if you take care of it there.

If your friend insists, suggest that she ask someone else to watch her cat, or even put the cat in a boarding facility, where it will have company and be under constant supervision.

What you should not do is ignore your health and bring the cat in your home because your friend is pushing you. I have severe cat allergies and can tell you firsthand that the cost can easily be too great for your health.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In an effort to curb bad-mouthing other people, I express my thoughts in emails that I never send. My drafts folder is essentially my diary. While communicating with a co-worker, I recalled beginning a draft regarding a project we were working on. Without thinking, I opened my drafts folder, and my co-worker saw the beginning of a scathing email about her. I never sent this email, but now she knows it exists.

I want to apologize, but I don't know how to initiate this apology. I hope she doesn't spread this around the office. -- Dang Drafts Folder, Savannah, Georgia

DEAR DANG DRAFTS FOLDER: You should go directly to your co-worker and confess that you sometimes write out your frustrations, though you never send them. Apologize to her for the rant that she read. You cannot control what she does with that information, but it is the honorable thing to do.

As for your drafts folder, delete it immediately. In the future, reserve your rants for your home computer. And do not ever save them in a drafts folder. Another horrible mistake could occur if you ever pushed send inadvertently. Instead, keep a rants file on your home computer stored in a place completely separate from the internet.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a stay-at-home mom who just moved to a new town. In an effort to meet friends, I joined the PTA and went to a mid-summer meeting of the mothers. I was greeted by a friendly woman who took me under her wing. We went out to lunch the next day, and she was incredibly charming. Today, I got a text from one of the other mothers that said that "Christy" has hurt all of them and has no friends. That's why she was so immediately drawn to me. I was told to watch out. I think I befriended the wrong mom at the PTA meeting. I just want to make friends, but I feel like I was thrown into a soap opera! How do I untangle this mess and make friends? -- New Kid on the Block, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR NEW KID ON THE BLOCK: Proceed with caution. This includes taking your time getting to know everyone. You do not need to sever ties with Christy. Instead, slow down. You can continue to get to know her, but make time to meet the other mothers as well. You can connect with mothers one-on-one by your invitation and as they invite you to do things with them. Listen to what they have to say about Christy -- up to a point. You can also state clearly that she has been kind to you, and you appreciate that. Be your own gauge for whether you develop a friendship with her. Just know that if you do, that bond may have to exist outside of other friend groups that you cultivate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I strongly believe one shouldn't drink alcohol to get drunk. I think drinking to the point of intoxication is immature, and you aren't respecting and savoring alcohol. I brew my own beer and have experimented with making my own hard liquor. I told my work friends about my views, and they made fun of me. They poke fun at me still, and I don't get invited out to happy hour anymore. What gives? I thought we were all mature adults. -- Connoisseur, Denver

DEAR CONNOISSEUR: Your friends likely think that you are being a hypocrite, given that you produce spirits, yet shun intoxication. As you probably know, whether intentional or not, many people get inebriated, at least on occasion, if they drink alcohol.

Your thoughts about drinking too much are judgmental, even if they do make sense to you and likely a slew of other people. Your friends probably do not invite you to happy hour because they don't want to feel that they are being judged when they want to relax and let loose. While you may all be mature adults, you have chosen to put your stake in the ground about others' drinking habits, and that makes some people uncomfortable.

One way to attempt to turn things around is to ask if you can join the group at the next happy hour, and offer to be the designated driver. This may give the group a laugh -- along with a practical way to include you in the mix. On your part, you will have to participate without sharing your opinions. Otherwise, it will backfire.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)