DEAR HARRIETTE: I have twin girls who are going into first grade. They are my life and joy. They have many friends and get along well with baby sitters and adults. However, I worry that my daughters are too friendly and outgoing. For example, I had landscapers come recently, and I found my daughters poking them and asking what their names are. Nothing bad happened in this situation, but I worry about a day that they could approach someone with bad intentions.

How do I steer my babies in the right direction? I don't want them to lose their inquisitive spirit, but I want to rest easy that they don't blindly trust everyone they meet. -- Fine Line, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR FINE LINE: Teaching your children about how to navigate their lives, including whom to trust, is a lifelong pursuit. Know that it is good that they are inquisitive and outgoing. As they engage others, talk to them about how and when to do so. The landscapers who were at your home should be safe for them to talk to. Otherwise, they shouldn't be at your home. But you could explain to them that it's fine to talk to them, but not OK to invite them inside or to go off with them. Talk to them about greeting people versus following people places, such as to get ice cream.

As your girls grow, you must continue to guide their steps by teaching them basic precautions about whom to trust and even how to walk away from people who are overly friendly. By also engaging "the village" -- your friends, teachers, family and neighborhood groups -- to support you, you will have extra eyes when needed.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two sons, 9 and 5 years old. Both of them have modeled for catalogs and acted in commercials. My youngest just had a big break and is in a regional commercial, and he landed a job in a national catalog. Now my older son is asking me why those people don't want him to model and act for them as well. It is true that he has been getting fewer jobs. I am trying to steer him toward sports now.

I don't know what to say without hurting my son's feelings. He knows how the industry works, but he is still hurt that his little brother is seeing so much more success than he ever did. -- No Crying in Showbiz, Los Angeles

DEAR NO CRYING IN SHOWBIZ: Competition between siblings is a beast, especially when you add the entertainment industry to the mix. Your job is to gently teach both of your children about the fleeting nature of modeling and commercials as you also help them to discover additional or alternative outlets for creativity.

Explain to your 9-year-old that the industry is fickle and out of your control. Encourage him to celebrate his brother's success at this moment, as you also help the elder child to find another focal point to offer his energies, such as sports or academics.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been invited to my friend's store's soft opening. Since this is a soft open, it is invite only, and we will be celebrating how far she has come with her fashion career. I would like to attend, but I don't have the funds to buy anything. Her store is pricey, to say the least. I saw a sweater for $700 at her other location.

Should I RSVP "no" to the invitation to spare myself the embarrassment of being the only person who won't buy something? It wasn't explicitly stated that everyone must make a purchase, but that seems to be what everyone is planning to do. -- Bargain Shopper, Sausalito, California

DEAR BARGAIN SHOPPER: Trust that you are not the only one who will either not buy anything or look for something affordable to purchase. Typically, friends are not the source of income for most businesses. The support that friends offer is often moral, rather than financial. Of course it would be lovely if you could make a purchase, but don't break the bank doing so.

You may want to bring your friend flowers for her opening. Or find out if you can invite others to attend. If you know anyone who might be a viable customer, add that person to the list. For you, allow your presence to be your support. Over time, continue to encourage others who seem like potential customers to stop by her shop.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started a company in my early 30s, and I helped build it for 20 years. It provided me and my family with jobs and a great income. In the past year, I neglected my company. I wasn't feeling like myself, and I decided I was wasting my life working 9 to 5 every day. I went away for three months, drank much more than I should have and made irresponsible purchases (a motorcycle). Now, I am regretting my decision to go missing for a year, because my company is seriously hurting.

My son is expected to move into my position after I retire, and I feel like a fool looking at the mess I made. I want to build my company back up and regain the respect of my family and employees. How do I do this? -- Missing in Action, Detroit

DEAR MISSING IN ACTION: Gather your family together, and confess the state of your business. Admit to your distraction, and present the facts: Namely, that the business needs to be saved. Talk to your son about helping out today in order to ensure a strong business for him to inherit in the future.

Essentially, you must face reality and work together to turn things around. Don't waste energy on feeling guilty. Instead, focus your time on rebuilding. Doing it with your son may be a blessing in disguise, as it will help him to build the muscle needed to keep the business on course so that he has something to step into when the time is right for him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last year, my husband promised me he would dial down at work to spend more time at home. He has missed most important milestones in our children's lives, but I think he can redeem himself by being present now. Although I had his word, he broke his promise and is at work even more than last year. He's missing our children grow up and laments this fact, but he also loves his job doing research in the medical field. I told him his job can wait because he will see his kids grow up only once. What else could I do to make him realize he's a ghost to our children? -- Workhorse, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR WORKHORSE: Rather than making a blanket plea to get your husband to show up or a blanket guilt trip to make him feel bad for his absences, take another tack. Identify specific activities that you want your husband to attend. Suggest them one by one so that the request is not overwhelming. Have your husband put each item on the calendar well in advance. Then remind him a couple of times as you get close to the event. Once your husband has shown up, thank him, but do not make a big deal of it. Instead, just sign him up for the next activity in the near future, and work to get him there. Over time, you may be able to change your husband's patterns without creating unnecessary discomfort.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed my vision getting worse. I strain my eyes to see screens and road signs that are far away. I am scared of getting contacts because I know they have led to vision loss and even blindness. I have been trying natural remedies to better my eyes, but they're not as sharp as they used to be. Putting off the doctor only makes my family badger me more, but I am fearful that succumbing to contacts will make my vision worse or even leave me blind. What should I do? -- Two Eyes, Dallas

DEAR TWO EYES: First, know that getting an eye exam does not automatically mean that you will be fitted for contact lenses. It does mean that the health of your eyes will be evaluated, and you will receive a recommendation for your next steps. As one who has worn glasses since the fifth grade, I can assure you that contact lenses will not be your first recommendation.

If you are found to need a corrective prescription, the first choice will likely be for you to wear glasses. Many people need glasses only for particular visual challenges and otherwise can go glasses-free. Find out what your doctor recommends.

Also, please know that thousands of people wear contact lenses daily without any issues. When they are not worn according to the directions, not removed in a timely manner or not properly cleaned, you can run into risks. If you do decide to consider contact lenses, review the risks carefully with your doctor.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)