DEAR HARRIETTE: I am at my wits' end with my mother-in-law. My husband and I have been married for two years now, and she's still being disrespectful toward me.
My mother-in-law threw my husband a dinner party to celebrate that he was coming back into town after being away on business. I thought it was a sweet gesture; being his wife, I decided that although his mom and I aren't the best of friends, I'd still come to support my husband. We knocked on the front door to come in, and she was completely ecstatic to see him. She was smiling and hugging him, crying over how long he was away, etc. I stepped into the house after him, and her entire mood changed. She rolled her eyes and asked him why he was still with me, as if I was just a random fling that he should've let go months ago. Even though I was offended, I let it slide and continued to greet friends and family. After dinner, she told everyone to gather around to cut the cake. We cut the cake, and I saw that it's pineapple. His mother knows that I'm allergic to pineapple, but that was the flavor she chose for his welcome-home cake? I feel like this woman has it out for me for no reason. Pineapple cake isn't even my husband's favorite flavor!
Do I confront his mom and ask her why she seems to hate me? I don't want to cause any drama -- especially when my husband was finally able to return home. -- Not Welcomed, Marietta, Georgia
DEAR NOT WELCOMED: Talk to your husband. Point out how unhealthy your relationship is with his mother. Ask him to help you build a respectful bond with her. Together, face her. That's your main chance of getting her to make an effort. She has to see that her son chooses you.