DEAR HARRIETTE: This summer I hooked up with my good friend who had recently broken up with her boyfriend. She was vulnerable and upset, and I was too nervous to reject her. I am gay, but I haven't told anyone yet, so it's weird.
Now she is back together with him and said that during that time, they were not completely broken up. I know I couldn't have had any way of knowing this, considering she told me at the time that they were over, but I do feel uncomfortable. Also, she continues to flirt with me now even though she and her boyfriend are in a serious relationship. I don't want to be responsible for troubles between the two of them, but nothing can be my fault considering it is always her who does the instigating.
Should I continue being friends with her and just brush off her flirtatious comments and actions, or would it be better to pull away completely? -- Stuck in the Middle, Toledo, Ohio
DEAR STUCK IN THE MIDDLE: You seem to be tiptoeing into your identity, and your friend was at the right place at the right time. Given that she is unavailable now, think hard on whether she is the choice for you. She may have been a precious opportunity for you to explore your own self. But chances are, she is not the one to continue the exploration. You can stay friendly with her, but keep your eyes on your prize, which should include sharing your truth, finding someone who is available and interested in pursuing a relationship with you, unencumbered with other relationships.