DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is eight years younger than me. We've been married for 10 years now, and our age difference has never been an issue.

As we get older and grow together, I notice that I'm conscious and concerned about worldly issues. I enjoy museums and documentaries. My husband will watch and participate in those things because I do. What he really likes is going out all night clubbing or to concerts. I do like to participate in those things, but that's not my only source of entertainment.

As we get older, I see myself heading one way and him in another direction. I don't know if that scares me or if I should be thankful that I realize it now. We were friends before anything, so I know that if we did separate, we would be able to still be cordial.

I want to do more with my life than just clubbing and hanging out. He doesn't understand, though. To him, he's young, and that's what he should be doing. He told me, "I have all the time in the world to become boring. I'm young. I want to have fun before I no longer can." When he said that, my heart dropped. I didn't know that he found my new interests "boring" and old. How do we stop our age difference from creating a huge wedge in our relationship? -- The Gap, Philadelphia

DEAR THE GAP: You two need to talk. You chose each other. It doesn't sound like you need to split. More, it sounds like you need to create a plan where you enjoy each other's interests occasionally as you make space to allow each other to do your own thing. As long as your husband's clubbing or your museum hopping doesn't lead you into someone else's arms, it's OK for you to have your personal pursuits. Your goal, though, should be to carve out shared interests that you both genuinely enjoy and want to do together so that your time apart is less stressful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I think my sister has a spending problem. It seems like every time she gets a check, she's out the door to a store. Now with online shopping so popular, she doesn't even have to leave home to make a purchase. She is constantly buying and returning things, which leaves my head spinning.

At the same time, though, she's 30 and still lives at home. I don't think she's even considering moving into her own place. How can I get her to realize that she shouldn't live with our parents for life and that she has to save money in order to move? I'm still in high school, but I do not plan on staying here. -- Mad at Sis, Denver

DEAR MAD AT SIS: Your parents are the ones who can best help her by requiring that she pay rent, even if they save it to give back to her. She needs to see repercussions of her spending habits in order to consider changing. If this is potentially an addiction, you could print something up to show her what spending addicts do and encourage her to go to debtorsanonymous.org for support. She may need to crash financially before she wakes up.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been together for six years. I love him with all my heart and would do almost anything for him. I say "almost" because his recent request isn't an easy one. Normally, if he asks me to do something, I'm there; I'll do it without hesitation. It's always been that way in our relationship because we love and trust each other. I overlooked our age difference -- he's 38, and I'm 24 -- because I never thought that it would come between us.

Lately, he's been very persistent about wanting children. He wants to have a baby so bad. This wouldn't be a problem if he wanted one in a few years. However, he wants a baby right now. I feel like I'm too young to have a baby. I just made it out of being a teen only a couple years ago. I'm not ready to be anybody's mother. I don't know enough about life to teach somebody else yet.

This baby dream of his has made him crazy. He's even gone as far as hiding my birth control pills and "accidentally" forgetting to use a condom. I put myself on the Depo-Provera shot the minute I noticed he was doing this on purpose. I don't want to disappoint him, but there has to be a way we can compromise on the timing of this baby. If we're going to do this, I want to have a plan. I'm not going to get pregnant just because he wants a baby. I'm just not ready. -- Not Ready, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR NOT READY: You need to have a heart-to-heart with your husband and create a plan that you can agree on about making a family. The good news is that since you are young, you probably do have many fertile years ahead. Men tend to be fertile for many more years than his current age, too. Talk through a potential timetable.

Also, make it clear to your husband that you will feel violated if he impregnates you against your will. Come to an agreement on timing, and work together toward that goal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went through a divorce, and I am in the process of moving out of the house. We have a small child, so I didn't want to move too far. However, I have been having trouble finding work over the past couple of years, and I got a job offer in another state. I would hate to move my child away from his father, but if my son is going to live with me, I'll need to be able to take care of him. Is it wrong for me to take my son with me to another state? I don't see any other option at this time. -- Gotta Go, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR GOTTA GO: Work this out with your ex, or you may end up in court. Talk to him about your need for work and your plan to move away. Discuss logistics for how you can keep him in your son's life as you also provide for your son and yourself. It would be wrong of you to just up and leave. Map everything out with his father.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have struggled with body acne for years. I have gone to various dermatologists and receive the same answer: I will have to live with my scars and occasional acne.

To combat how insecure I feel about my body acne, I apply full-coverage foundation to the parts of my body that are exposed. My insecurities mostly go unnoticed unless someone tries getting too close to me. My makeup has rubbed off on people! I feel so awkward whenever this happens, and I usually deny it being me. Should I offer to clean people's stained clothing? I feel so embarrassed whenever this happens, but I usually blame whoever came too close to me and caused it to rub off. -- Staining and Running, Baltimore

DEAR STAINING AND RUNNING: While full-coverage foundation can mask severe acne from a distance, it is probably making your condition worse; the coverage makes it hard for your skin to breathe. I recommend that you consider holistic options to your treatment. Read up on natural remedies for acne, including drinking significantly more water, reducing or eliminating fried foods and extra fat, dramatically reducing sugar and increasing exercise. Learn about essential oils and experiment to see if oils such as tea tree, lavender, juniper berry and clary sage help to reduce your outbreaks. Come out from behind the mask of makeup, and figure out natural ways to heal your body.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Today I saw a pregnant woman making her way up a flight of stairs. She was clearly having a difficult time and was holding onto the rail. She was probably about seven months pregnant, and I wasn't sure if I had the social responsibility to do something. The building has an elevator, so she clearly chose the stairs for a reason. I don't think she was endangering her baby by getting some exercise in.

I did not offer my assistance and simply walked behind her until we reached the second floor. A woman behind me rushed up and asked the pregnant woman if she was all right and if she needed anything. I guess I might have misunderstood the situation. Should I have asked this woman if she needed help or knew about the elevator? I assumed she consciously chose the stairs. -- Social Responsibility, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY: Walking behind the pregnant woman was a silent way of supporting her. Had she experienced a stumble or any lack of footing, you were there to break her fall. Could you have spoken up to ask her if she needed help? Sure. Don't beat yourself for not asking.

In the future, whether someone is pregnant or has another potential sensitivity to a situation, it is OK to speak up and invite what may seem to be an easier option. In this case, it could have been, "Miss, there is an elevator. Would you like to use that instead?" or, "May I help carry your bags?"

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)