DEAR HARRIETTE: I have struggled with body acne for years. I have gone to various dermatologists and receive the same answer: I will have to live with my scars and occasional acne.

To combat how insecure I feel about my body acne, I apply full-coverage foundation to the parts of my body that are exposed. My insecurities mostly go unnoticed unless someone tries getting too close to me. My makeup has rubbed off on people! I feel so awkward whenever this happens, and I usually deny it being me. Should I offer to clean people's stained clothing? I feel so embarrassed whenever this happens, but I usually blame whoever came too close to me and caused it to rub off. -- Staining and Running, Baltimore

DEAR STAINING AND RUNNING: While full-coverage foundation can mask severe acne from a distance, it is probably making your condition worse; the coverage makes it hard for your skin to breathe. I recommend that you consider holistic options to your treatment. Read up on natural remedies for acne, including drinking significantly more water, reducing or eliminating fried foods and extra fat, dramatically reducing sugar and increasing exercise. Learn about essential oils and experiment to see if oils such as tea tree, lavender, juniper berry and clary sage help to reduce your outbreaks. Come out from behind the mask of makeup, and figure out natural ways to heal your body.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Today I saw a pregnant woman making her way up a flight of stairs. She was clearly having a difficult time and was holding onto the rail. She was probably about seven months pregnant, and I wasn't sure if I had the social responsibility to do something. The building has an elevator, so she clearly chose the stairs for a reason. I don't think she was endangering her baby by getting some exercise in.

I did not offer my assistance and simply walked behind her until we reached the second floor. A woman behind me rushed up and asked the pregnant woman if she was all right and if she needed anything. I guess I might have misunderstood the situation. Should I have asked this woman if she needed help or knew about the elevator? I assumed she consciously chose the stairs. -- Social Responsibility, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY: Walking behind the pregnant woman was a silent way of supporting her. Had she experienced a stumble or any lack of footing, you were there to break her fall. Could you have spoken up to ask her if she needed help? Sure. Don't beat yourself for not asking.

In the future, whether someone is pregnant or has another potential sensitivity to a situation, it is OK to speak up and invite what may seem to be an easier option. In this case, it could have been, "Miss, there is an elevator. Would you like to use that instead?" or, "May I help carry your bags?"

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is a bit of a bookworm. He used to attend robotics camps, but I've noticed a difference in him as he's entered high school. Gone is the "Star Wars" obsession and love for extra math problems. I think my son is trying to better his social ranking in high school and is doing all of the things "cool kids" do, like not care about homework.

The final straw came when I got home and saw that beer had been taken out of the fridge. I assume my son had some sort of get-together in which underage children drank alcohol. I wouldn't know for sure because my son refuses to confess. I didn't drink the beer, my wife didn't drink the beer and my 6-year-old daughter did not drink the beer.

I want to show my son that you don't have to throw parties to be popular. I am disappointed that he drank beer, and I am worried about him and his self-esteem. Should I punish him for drinking my beers? I think he's desperately trying to make friends, but I don't want him going to these lengths and lying to me. -- Something's Brewing, Detroit

DEAR SOMETHING'S BREWING: Two things need to happen. First, your son must learn the consequences of his actions. If you know he is responsible for the beer consumption, he needs some kind of punishment for lying and underage drinking. Even more, you need to get him to talk about what's happening at school. Remind him of the importance of keeping his values, even as he expands his friend group. Stay as close to him as you can so that you can know when to be of support.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother is very ambitious. He has a lot of goals and dreams that he wants to accomplish; however, he's not the best at time management. Lately, I haven't seen him at all -- and we live in the same house! All he does is work all day and all night. He never had much of a social life because he was always so consumed in work.

I'm worried about him. If he were to lose his job, what would his mental state be? I feel like he views himself as worthless without his job. How do I show him that it's not about work all the time? He deserves to go out and have a social life. How do I raise my brother's self-esteem so that he doesn't hide behind his work all the time?

With or without his job, he's an awesome brother. He should know that and carry himself as such. I just want him to be happy. He hasn't had a girlfriend in ages. He's young. He should be out living life. All he does is work. He needs to see other things besides the four walls of his office. There's so much more in life. Why spend your life hiding from it all behind a desk? -- Tired of This Workaholic, Suffolk County, New York

DEAR TIRED OF THIS WORKAHOLIC: When starting a career, people often work a lot of hours. You can tell your brother you miss him and are proud of him, but don't stand in the way of his focus. He connects his value to his job, which may be OK for a while. You and your brother may not share the same values regarding happiness. What you can do is love him unconditionally and make sure he knows that.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Both of my parents have pretty bad arthritis. They are in their 80s and live in Florida in a senior community. When I visited them this past weekend, I made them a meal. As I pulled open a drawer, I saw a bag of marijuana along with wrapped Rice Krispie treats and brownies. There were also lighters and a small smoking piece in this drawer. My parents were in their living room as I was making food, but they clearly have no intent to hide this.

I am stunned. When I was caught smoking pot as a teenager, my father kicked me out of the house for two days! Seeing marijuana in their possession truly surprised me. I recall my father constantly giving me jabs and calling me a "loser pothead" when I was in college. I'm not quite sure what to make of my discovery.

I would love to call out my parents on being hypocrites, but don't want to hurt their feelings. I assume they use marijuana to ease body pain. I am not sure why they are using drugs, but I would like an apology for years of berating me for consuming a fraction of what they have now. -- Pot Calling Kettle, Orlando, Florida

DEAR POT CALLING KETTLE: Here's a perfect time for humor. Clearly, your parents have evolved since your childhood. They probably have marijuana for their ailments and use it medicinally. Note to you: They are using it for very different reasons than you were recreationally in your youth.

That said, you can bring it up, let your parents know what you found and even say, "Hey, now you know why I liked it so much!" Try to spark a laugh rather than reprimanding them or even asking for an apology. You can forgive them without it. Instead, get them to talk about their lives.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been married for almost two years. Throughout our relationship, my husband has stressed how important his father is to him. Picking up on his cue, I go out of my way to speak to his father at family gatherings. Alone time with my father-in-law is, quite frankly, awkward and unpleasant. He makes it seem like I am never interesting enough for him, and has made a point to bring up ex-girlfriends.

I'm sick of trying to reach out to my father-in-law and have him like me. He is such a curmudgeon who clearly doesn't want to know me. I keep this from my husband because I know how fond he is of his father, but Iam at my wits' end. My husband recently suggested we all go on a hike together, and I think I am just too grumpy to continue on trying to please my father-in-law. Is it time for me to come clean to my husband? -- Not Daddy's Girl, Syracuse

DEAR NOT DADDY'S GIRL: Tell your husband how stressed you are about the way his father treats you. Ask for his support. Let him know you are ready to give up on building a relationship with his father because he is consistently disrespectful. Ask your husband to intervene.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)