DEAR HARRIETTE: My dad was never in my life. He just wrote a check here and there, giving it to my mom. There was no real emotional connection. Money was my dad. Money was always there. Money paid for any expenses I needed for my well-being. A week ago, my dad calls me to say that he wants to "see what his return is on his investment." That comment offended me. How dare he think that his money made me? How could he ever be a real father? He didn't raise me; the money did. I'm still trying to decipher if that's a good or bad thing.

The only love I've ever known was my mother's. She was my one and only example. In relationships with guys, I'm always looking for that money and financial support. I don't look for them to fund me, but I am used to having that in my life. I'm not used to having a guy in my life. How do I break this down to them? Everybody in college thinks that I'm some gold digger. It's not that, really, it's more that I'm just used to money.

Should I lower my expectations? My father gave me a lot of money, so do I have to settle for less because they have less? Or do I look at myself and try to change? If so, what do I need to change? -- Assumptions vs. Truth, Reno, Nevada

DEAR ASSUMPTIONS VS. TRUTH: Start by meeting with your father. It's not too late to see if you can strike up a relationship. If you can cultivate a healthy bond with him, it will help you tremendously in building a healthier bond with a potential boyfriend. You should also pursue counseling where you can address your issues and learn to be free of them. Ultimately, it will be great for you to learn how to be in a relationship with someone regardless of how much money he has. Give yourself time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I have been seeing a relationship counselor for half a year. We see this therapist individually and then together every other week. I don't believe in any of the advice this therapist is giving us, and it is too difficult to implement. I am not a very emotional person and don't like to speak much, but both my wife and therapist make it seem like the only way to better our relationship is if I spill my feelings all the time. The therapist even tells me I'm closed off! This entire situation is deeply frustrating me, and I want to stop going to counseling, but I know it'll make my wife extremely angry. What should my next step be? I hate this therapist and all of her advice. -- Not Spilling the Beans, Dallas

DEAR NOT SPILLING THE BEANS: You got to counseling, I will assume, because you and your wife were at an impasse. As uncomfortable as it is to share your feelings, that is one key goal of therapy -- to access how you are feeling and reacting to situations so that you can explore them. If you cannot stand this therapist, consider getting another who may be a better fit. But do not give up.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an elementary school teacher, so naturally my students make me many crafts. I love every child I teach, and seeing their faces brightens my day. I have noticed a trend in how children craft. Instead of taking something home to their parents, they'll give it to me. I find this gesture adorable, but these drawings are not high-quality. There are only so many child creations you can hang on a wall. I have been teaching a few years, and I tend to throw out crafts after a week. Children don't even remember them!

Recently, the mother of a boy I taught last year reached out to me and asked for his work. I told her that her son took everything home that he wanted to, and she replied that he said he left things in the classroom for me. This work has since been thrown out, but I know this mother will be very offended if I tell her that. I am a young teacher, and I have never found myself in this situation before. How do I respond to her email? -- Recycling Art, Philadelphia

DEAR RECYCLING ART: Be honest with that parent, and tell her that the artwork was discarded at the end of the school year. In the future, let parents know that any artwork that children decide to leave in the classroom will not be kept. If the time limit is a week, tell them that. If it is until the end of the year, make that clear.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a straight college boy. I stress the fact that I am straight because, after a night of drinking, I was dared to kiss one of my friends. We couldn't turn down a dare, so we kissed each other. It was completely platonic. Normally, that would be the end of this, but someone managed to snap a picture of us kissing. The picture is now circulating around the school's population. There's no way everyone's seen it, but I know practically everyone at the party now has that photograph.

This isn't an accurate representation of me, and I don't even know how to address this photo. I did this in a crowded party, so I can't really be surprised someone took a picture of me, but I wish this wasn't spreading like wildfire. There's underage drinking in the photo as well. I know who started sending this photo out, and I would like to say something to them. I'm responsible for my actions, but they're responsible for causing all of these rumors to spread about me. -- Straight as an Arrow, Detroit

DEAR STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW: Let your actions speak for you. Since you kissed your friend as a dare, you can say as much when someone confronts or teases you about it. If people tease you about being gay, ignore them. Speaking to the student who pushed the picture out will likely do nothing except possibly add fuel to the fire. Your best next step is to move on. Live your life. Be you. (And avoid getting drunk.)

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was a sprinter all my life and was even a Division III athlete in college. I love running and continue to do it when I can to stay in shape and feel good. Naturally, sprinting for years changed my body. I was, and continue to be, proud of my strong legs. The "thigh gap" trend I see happening among preteen and teenage girls is driving me insane. If I didn't have these muscles, I wouldn't have had a successful sprinting career. I wouldn't be able to run long distances and feel strong.

My daughters are not particularly interested in running, but are involved in a multitude of sports. When my daughter was at ballet, she said a girl made her feel bad because she doesn't have a gap between her legs. I was furious, but I can't say anything to this 11-year-old. I am a grown woman and cannot reprimand someone else's child. I told my daughter to be proud of her legs, yet I know she is too busy thinking about the comment her classmate made.

Should I tell the teacher to have a body positivity class? I doubt talking to this girl's mother will change much; she's as curvy as a stick and has this "thigh gap" she tells her daughter all girls should have. -- Big and Strong, Denver

DEAR BIG AND STRONG: Your primary job is to talk to your daughter. Show her your muscular body and explain how it got that way. Remind her that every person has a different body makeup, and having a gap between her legs is not every woman's physicality, nor is it considered ideal. Instead, it is one body type.

You should know that ballet does not have the best reputation as it relates to promoting healthy body image. Many ballerinas, both students and professionals, have complained for generations about the push to be extremely thin. You can ask your daughter's teacher about offering a body positivity lesson to the class, but don't be surprised if the answer is no. It is your job to build your daughter's self-esteem.

It is also counterproductive to discuss the classmate's mother's body shape -- you are critical of her body in the same way her daughter is about your daughter.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I frequent a coffee place in my small town. The nearest neighboring town is over 20 minutes away. Practically every time I come in to enjoy a silent cup of tea with a cookie, I hear a woman gabbing on. She constantly talks about offensive topics, and if someone asks her to quiet down or disagrees with her, she loudly announces, "I can have an opinion."

This woman annoys me, but there's nowhere else for me to get my tea or coffee unless I want to drive far away. She constantly engages other people who are minding their own business to see if she is right in her opinion. She's asked me, and I've pretended to not hear. I can't keep this up forever, and I want a polite but firm reaction to her. I want to communicate to her that I don't approve of her loud gabbing and want her to hush up and go home. -- Silent Coffee Shop, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR SILENT COFFEE SHOP: Speak to the owner of the coffee shop and express your concern. Ask the owner to speak to the woman. Explain that you and others may stop coming there if you can get no peace.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)