DEAR HARRIETTE: I was a sprinter all my life and was even a Division III athlete in college. I love running and continue to do it when I can to stay in shape and feel good. Naturally, sprinting for years changed my body. I was, and continue to be, proud of my strong legs. The "thigh gap" trend I see happening among preteen and teenage girls is driving me insane. If I didn't have these muscles, I wouldn't have had a successful sprinting career. I wouldn't be able to run long distances and feel strong.

My daughters are not particularly interested in running, but are involved in a multitude of sports. When my daughter was at ballet, she said a girl made her feel bad because she doesn't have a gap between her legs. I was furious, but I can't say anything to this 11-year-old. I am a grown woman and cannot reprimand someone else's child. I told my daughter to be proud of her legs, yet I know she is too busy thinking about the comment her classmate made.

Should I tell the teacher to have a body positivity class? I doubt talking to this girl's mother will change much; she's as curvy as a stick and has this "thigh gap" she tells her daughter all girls should have. -- Big and Strong, Denver

DEAR BIG AND STRONG: Your primary job is to talk to your daughter. Show her your muscular body and explain how it got that way. Remind her that every person has a different body makeup, and having a gap between her legs is not every woman's physicality, nor is it considered ideal. Instead, it is one body type.

You should know that ballet does not have the best reputation as it relates to promoting healthy body image. Many ballerinas, both students and professionals, have complained for generations about the push to be extremely thin. You can ask your daughter's teacher about offering a body positivity lesson to the class, but don't be surprised if the answer is no. It is your job to build your daughter's self-esteem.

It is also counterproductive to discuss the classmate's mother's body shape -- you are critical of her body in the same way her daughter is about your daughter.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I frequent a coffee place in my small town. The nearest neighboring town is over 20 minutes away. Practically every time I come in to enjoy a silent cup of tea with a cookie, I hear a woman gabbing on. She constantly talks about offensive topics, and if someone asks her to quiet down or disagrees with her, she loudly announces, "I can have an opinion."

This woman annoys me, but there's nowhere else for me to get my tea or coffee unless I want to drive far away. She constantly engages other people who are minding their own business to see if she is right in her opinion. She's asked me, and I've pretended to not hear. I can't keep this up forever, and I want a polite but firm reaction to her. I want to communicate to her that I don't approve of her loud gabbing and want her to hush up and go home. -- Silent Coffee Shop, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR SILENT COFFEE SHOP: Speak to the owner of the coffee shop and express your concern. Ask the owner to speak to the woman. Explain that you and others may stop coming there if you can get no peace.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating this great guy for about five months now. He has recently expressed interest in taking things to the next level, and I would love to. However, there is one problem: I'm a virgin. It's not that I've never had the opportunity to have sex, but I was just more focused on my education and ensuring my financial stability than in dating. I know most people my age are out of that phase where they are experimenting and figuring out what works for them or teaching their partner how to do what they like. How can I break this to him? -- 32-Year-Old Virgin, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR 32-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN: Given how long you have waited, you should by all means take your time now. In a nonintimate setting, talk to your boyfriend about what it means for you to take the next step. Absolutely tell him that you are a virgin -- and explain why. You need to be clear why you feel comfortable walking through that door with him. It's OK for him to feel nervous about the prospect. Do not take this step lightly. When he learns your history, he may want to slow down. That is great.

Becoming sexually intimate with someone should be considered one of the most sacred experiences -- at least from my perspective -- and should not be entered into casually.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son will be going off to college in August four hours away from home, and I am nervous. Not because my child will be away from home for the first time, but because I know I can no longer avoid talking to him about sex. Now, it's not that my ex-husband and I never said anything about sex to him, but we never had a formal conversation about it beyond making sure he wasn't having it.

Getting him to campus without having this talk would be ideal, but I know this would prove pretty dangerous, given what goes on on campus. I am tempted to ask another family member to talk him about this. Should I do this if I can't handle having the conversation? Or do I just need to overcome my fears of my child growing up and get it over with? -- Your Typical Overprotective Religious Parent, Buffalo, New York

DEAR YOUR TYPICAL OVERPROTECTIVE RELIGIOUS PARENT: Now is better than never. Your conversation needs to be about more than sex, though. Talk to your son about relationships, about how to recognize someone with integrity and goodness. Don't let your being religious turn into a wall that is impenetrable. And, yes you have to demonstrate courage to speak openly with your son. You can do it, and you must. Ask him how he feels about going away to school and if he is nervous about the social scene.

You also should definitely find someone else who can be a confidante to him who shares your values. Since you have not been in an ongoing conversation with your son about sex, intimacy, relationships, etc., it is unlikely that he will naturally open up to you. Please find someone you think he trusts who is willing to stay in touch with him as he navigates his life.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a divorced mother of two. My children are both in college, so I live alone during the year, and they come back for the summer. I met a great man a little less than two years ago. We have been dating for a year and a half and recently went on vacation together. While we were on vacation, he proposed to me. I was panicked and completely caught off guard, so I said yes. We hadn't spoken much about marriage, and I certainly did not see it on the horizon for myself. I didn't want to ruin what we have. I love most of his family, and his children are amazing.

I feel like everything is happening too quickly. Everyone is asking when I'm marrying a man I haven't even known for two years! I want to calm down the hubbub, but I don't want to ruin our relationship. I can't break off our engagement, right? I just don't know how to go about integrating our families, sorting living situations -- my oldest was supposed to move in with me after college -- and meshing traditions. -- New Older Bride, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR NEW OLDER BRIDE: Rather than breaking off the engagement, start the conversation about what your life will look like together. Talk it out over as much time as needed. Admit to your beau that you hadn't really thought about marriage, and when he asked, your knee-jerk reaction was to say yes. In order to build a life together, though, you two have to sort out how and where you will live. Don't feel pressured to walk down the aisle until you figure it out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was born and raised in Britain, but now I live in Boston full time. I hate the British stereotype that we are all uptight. Just because I have an accent does not mean I am a stuffy person! I like to have a laugh, and people are surprised that I don't laugh at British humor only.

It does take me some time to warm up to people, but I think people perceive me a certain way as soon as I open my mouth. I admit I dress conservatively and can have my moments, but people have assumed I genuinely don't enjoy partying just because of the way I speak and carry myself! I don't want to be labeled as stuffy, but I don't think a disclaimer about how I can be fun is necessary. How do I step out from behind my British-ness and have people see that I can be as fun as everyone else? -- Across the Pond, Boston

DEAR ACROSS THE POND: Stop worrying about what people will think about you, and just be you. If you resist being caught up in stereotypes, you create space for those around you to do the same. Be your natural self. Connect with people in ways that are meaningful. When people discover who you are, they will more easily lose their notions of who they think you should be.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)