DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating this great guy for about five months now. He has recently expressed interest in taking things to the next level, and I would love to. However, there is one problem: I'm a virgin. It's not that I've never had the opportunity to have sex, but I was just more focused on my education and ensuring my financial stability than in dating. I know most people my age are out of that phase where they are experimenting and figuring out what works for them or teaching their partner how to do what they like. How can I break this to him? -- 32-Year-Old Virgin, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR 32-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN: Given how long you have waited, you should by all means take your time now. In a nonintimate setting, talk to your boyfriend about what it means for you to take the next step. Absolutely tell him that you are a virgin -- and explain why. You need to be clear why you feel comfortable walking through that door with him. It's OK for him to feel nervous about the prospect. Do not take this step lightly. When he learns your history, he may want to slow down. That is great.

Becoming sexually intimate with someone should be considered one of the most sacred experiences -- at least from my perspective -- and should not be entered into casually.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son will be going off to college in August four hours away from home, and I am nervous. Not because my child will be away from home for the first time, but because I know I can no longer avoid talking to him about sex. Now, it's not that my ex-husband and I never said anything about sex to him, but we never had a formal conversation about it beyond making sure he wasn't having it.

Getting him to campus without having this talk would be ideal, but I know this would prove pretty dangerous, given what goes on on campus. I am tempted to ask another family member to talk him about this. Should I do this if I can't handle having the conversation? Or do I just need to overcome my fears of my child growing up and get it over with? -- Your Typical Overprotective Religious Parent, Buffalo, New York

DEAR YOUR TYPICAL OVERPROTECTIVE RELIGIOUS PARENT: Now is better than never. Your conversation needs to be about more than sex, though. Talk to your son about relationships, about how to recognize someone with integrity and goodness. Don't let your being religious turn into a wall that is impenetrable. And, yes you have to demonstrate courage to speak openly with your son. You can do it, and you must. Ask him how he feels about going away to school and if he is nervous about the social scene.

You also should definitely find someone else who can be a confidante to him who shares your values. Since you have not been in an ongoing conversation with your son about sex, intimacy, relationships, etc., it is unlikely that he will naturally open up to you. Please find someone you think he trusts who is willing to stay in touch with him as he navigates his life.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a divorced mother of two. My children are both in college, so I live alone during the year, and they come back for the summer. I met a great man a little less than two years ago. We have been dating for a year and a half and recently went on vacation together. While we were on vacation, he proposed to me. I was panicked and completely caught off guard, so I said yes. We hadn't spoken much about marriage, and I certainly did not see it on the horizon for myself. I didn't want to ruin what we have. I love most of his family, and his children are amazing.

I feel like everything is happening too quickly. Everyone is asking when I'm marrying a man I haven't even known for two years! I want to calm down the hubbub, but I don't want to ruin our relationship. I can't break off our engagement, right? I just don't know how to go about integrating our families, sorting living situations -- my oldest was supposed to move in with me after college -- and meshing traditions. -- New Older Bride, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR NEW OLDER BRIDE: Rather than breaking off the engagement, start the conversation about what your life will look like together. Talk it out over as much time as needed. Admit to your beau that you hadn't really thought about marriage, and when he asked, your knee-jerk reaction was to say yes. In order to build a life together, though, you two have to sort out how and where you will live. Don't feel pressured to walk down the aisle until you figure it out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was born and raised in Britain, but now I live in Boston full time. I hate the British stereotype that we are all uptight. Just because I have an accent does not mean I am a stuffy person! I like to have a laugh, and people are surprised that I don't laugh at British humor only.

It does take me some time to warm up to people, but I think people perceive me a certain way as soon as I open my mouth. I admit I dress conservatively and can have my moments, but people have assumed I genuinely don't enjoy partying just because of the way I speak and carry myself! I don't want to be labeled as stuffy, but I don't think a disclaimer about how I can be fun is necessary. How do I step out from behind my British-ness and have people see that I can be as fun as everyone else? -- Across the Pond, Boston

DEAR ACROSS THE POND: Stop worrying about what people will think about you, and just be you. If you resist being caught up in stereotypes, you create space for those around you to do the same. Be your natural self. Connect with people in ways that are meaningful. When people discover who you are, they will more easily lose their notions of who they think you should be.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is 16 years old. Instead of being obsessed with getting his driving permit or going on dates, he has decided to dedicate his free time to getting accepted to the Naval Academy in Annapolis, Maryland. He has two years, but there is a strenuous physical examination in addition to serving four years in the Navy afterward.

My son, "David," is strongly considering this. I never told him to not follow his dreams, but I'm honestly hoping the 7.9 percent admission rate at the Naval Academy will mean he'll have to attend a regular university. David can already run a 5.30-minute mile and is pushing himself in the gym whenever he isn't doing work. I love this level of commitment and have never seen him this passionate; however, this all scares me. My son could be in a war zone in less than seven years. Should I let him apply to the Naval Academy and secretly hope he doesn't get in? I don't know how to convey how dangerous it could be to serve our country. -- No Navy for Teen, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NO NAVY FOR TEEN: It is understandable that you would have some reservations about your son going into the military. At the same time, there are tremendous benefits to the experience. Among them, he will cultivate tremendous discipline, learn useful skills and be employed. Rather than discouraging your son, talk to him about what he hopes to learn. There are many different jobs in the Navy. If he knows his specific areas of interest up front, it may help him to focus when he enters.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my aunts works in finance at a top firm. She lives in New York City and constantly talks about the "Big Four." As a man in my early 20s, I'm just trying to make ends meet and get on even financial footing. At any family gathering, you can bet my aunt makes a beeline to me and pesters me with questions. I am admittedly private, so people must ask questions if they want to know information, but I believe she goes too far. She wants to know about my investments, what credit cards I have and how much I have in my checking, savings and emergency accounts. She can tell I am uncomfortable when this conversation comes up, but she insists she just wants to help me. I just want her to stop prying.

I know my aunt may have good intentions and is very knowledgeable, but I don't want to be ridiculed or scolded for my finances. Besides, everyone says to keep business and family separate! How can I get my aunt to stop attempting to help me while she intrudes on my finances? -- Bad Balances, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR BAD BALANCES: Let your aunt's intentions spur you to get your own financial adviser. It's fine not to discuss your personal finances with her, but don't ignore them. Find a professional who can guide you to do the very things your aunt is asking. You do need this, even if you don't want to do it with her.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)