DEAR HARRIETTE: As spring is here in full force, my wife has decided that this is the year that we get rid of clutter. In the past, the whole family has made a halfhearted promise to throw out what we truly do not need just to appease my wife. This year, however, it seems as though she is ready to turn everyone into complete minimalists. There is an entire schedule for what we are donating each week. Clothing, toys, sports equipment and extra bedding all make an appearance, and it's safe to say everyone is a little scared of Mommy this year. Our children are 10, 12 and 15, and they do not always want to part with their items.

My wife is not even budging at their requests to hold on to anything sentimental. She says we can just take a photograph of items to remember them and donate or toss the real thing. We're all weary of this idea, but my wife seems to be on a rampage. Do we just grin and bear this spring cleaning? I don't really want to get rid of anything, either. -- Power Clean, Rochester, New York

DEAR POWER CLEAN: I wish your wife would come to my house! Believe it or not, her level of organization for this cleaning means that it will likely be more effective than in years past. Even though you don't want to let go of any of your belongings, you may be relieved and grateful if you do it. Most of us collect things over the years that we really don't need. Make space for what is yet to come by giving up something from each category. It will be a great lesson for your children as well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: From the ages of 2 to 10, my mother entered me in beauty pageants. I grew up in the South, where this is common. I don't hold any resentment toward my mother, but I do grimace a little when I see my old dresses, flippers and costumes. I know I won a few thousand dollars for my family in the end and had some fun, so I don't regret these years of my life. Now that I am pregnant for the first time, my mother has been asking me about how I'm going to find any pageants up north for my daughter to compete in. I said I wasn't particularly worried about this, and my mother mentioned how the money helps with expenses and how I could reuse some of my old belongings. I keep dodging the questions she asks, but quite frankly, I think putting my daughter into pageants would be tacky. I don't want to have my toddler daughter make money for me, and I don't want judges ranking her. I don't have any hard feelings about my pageant years, but I will not be entering my daughter in them. How can I get my point across firmly, without stepping on any toes? -- Turning a New Page, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR TURNING A NEW PAGE: You are going to have to come right out and tell your mother directly that you will not be entering your daughter in pageants. When she presses you, tell her that you understand why she had you do it, but you don't want your daughter to follow in your footsteps. You will help her figure out her own interests and support her in exploring them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I have a relatively large age gap between us. (I am 15 years older than she is.) For her ninth birthday, she received a dog! This particularly resonates with me because I was always aware she'd grow up the more spoiled one. During my high school years, I was a baby sitter who had no fun, and my little sister will be able to go to all of the parties. I always begged my parents for a pet but never even got a fish. I would have been content with any kind of critter, but my 9-year-old sister getting a puppy seems like a slap in the face to me. When my parents told me, I told them it seemed out of character for them to gift her with a dog when they didn't get me anything, and they told me she is more responsible than I was! How can you judge a child on how responsible they are? We were all children once, and it bothers me that my parents think so little of me.

I didn't want to start a fight over this, but I want to draw the line with my parents when it comes to talking about how much better my sister is than me. How do I tell them to stop treating her like she's so mature without seeming bitter? -- Older Older Sister, Spokane, Washington

DEAR OLDER OLDER SISTER: Parents of multiple children, especially those with big age gaps, learn from their experiences with their older children and often course-correct along the way. Unfortunately, this can look like unfairness when the older child witnesses the younger one enjoying privileges previously considered unimaginable. If possible, rather than being angry with your parents, give them credit for learning. They are different now than when you were young, thanks to what they learned from you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Much older guys constantly hit on me, and I always end up in relationships with older men. These men are at least 10 years older than I am, and I end up seeing them because no one else in my age range is trying to be in a relationship with me. I am 20 years old, and I don't understand why men closer to my age do not find me appealing. I don't wear much makeup at all, and I consider myself to be pretty up-to-date with fashion trends. Although I appear as youthful as possible, guys in their early to mid-20s stay away from me. I don't think I look much older than I am. How can I stop attracting these types of men? I want to date someone youthful, not 15 years older than me. -- Too Young for Me, Detroit

DEAR TOO YOUNG FOR ME: It's time for a self-assessment. Make a list of the qualities that you like in a man. Be specific. Then look at the men you have dated to see if any of them matches your profile. Are you attracted to older men without realizing it? That could be true. You might also simply be mature for your age -- not so much how you look, but how you behave. While 10 years seems like an enormous gap now, it actually is a comfortable gap for many couples. Let the qualities guide you in finding a partner, not the man's age.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is currently pledging a fraternity at his school. I was in a sorority myself, and I know that sometimes hazing is a part of the pledging process. I speak with my son frequently, and he seems tired and overworked. There seem to be too many requirements for him to be accepted into this fraternity. Although I try talking some sense into him, he is adamant to keep pledging. He will pay for the fraternity himself, so I can't threaten to take it away from him by not funding it. I was considering contacting his university as an anonymous tipster, but I don't know if I'd be taking away my son's brotherhood and friends. I know times have changed since I joined a sorority, and I think everyone should adopt a no-hazing policy. Should I contact the university? I'm worried these boys are going to take things too far, and I don't want to see my son hurt. -- Worrying from Home, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR WORRYING FROM HOME: Being tired and overworked are part of the pledge process for many students because they still have to fit in their studies as they participate in a broad range of fraternal activities. That is different from hazing. If you fear that your son's life may be in danger, by all means, contact the school. If you are just generally worried about him but are in touch with him regularly, I would recommend continuing to listen to him without stepping in. If you ever sense that he is unsafe, make the call.

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a month ago, I let my roommate borrow my car for an emergency. I assumed this would be a one-time occurrence. He said it was for an emergency! Boy, was I wrong. Since the first time I let him borrow my car, my roommate has taken it skiing for the day, has used it whenever he needs to go to the grocery store and has even asked me if he could borrow it for the weekend. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. I usually don't like other people driving my car, however my roommate never took the liberty of asking me if he could use my car after the first time. He just says, "It's all right if I take your car now, right? You're hanging out at home anyway." I've never been paid back for gas or properly asked to borrow my car. I need to put my foot down and have my inconsiderate roommate realize that he is not paying for the lease on my car and therefore does not have the right to drive it. -- My Wheels, Atlanta

DEAR MY WHEELS: Take your keys back and keep them where your roommate cannot find them. Tell him that he can no longer drive your car. Most important is that he is not on your insurance. Explain that you let him use your car once in an emergency but cannot allow it again. Rather than going into his bad manners, stick to the insurance. It really is a deal-breaker.