DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I have a relatively large age gap between us. (I am 15 years older than she is.) For her ninth birthday, she received a dog! This particularly resonates with me because I was always aware she'd grow up the more spoiled one. During my high school years, I was a baby sitter who had no fun, and my little sister will be able to go to all of the parties. I always begged my parents for a pet but never even got a fish. I would have been content with any kind of critter, but my 9-year-old sister getting a puppy seems like a slap in the face to me. When my parents told me, I told them it seemed out of character for them to gift her with a dog when they didn't get me anything, and they told me she is more responsible than I was! How can you judge a child on how responsible they are? We were all children once, and it bothers me that my parents think so little of me.

I didn't want to start a fight over this, but I want to draw the line with my parents when it comes to talking about how much better my sister is than me. How do I tell them to stop treating her like she's so mature without seeming bitter? -- Older Older Sister, Spokane, Washington

DEAR OLDER OLDER SISTER: Parents of multiple children, especially those with big age gaps, learn from their experiences with their older children and often course-correct along the way. Unfortunately, this can look like unfairness when the older child witnesses the younger one enjoying privileges previously considered unimaginable. If possible, rather than being angry with your parents, give them credit for learning. They are different now than when you were young, thanks to what they learned from you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Much older guys constantly hit on me, and I always end up in relationships with older men. These men are at least 10 years older than I am, and I end up seeing them because no one else in my age range is trying to be in a relationship with me. I am 20 years old, and I don't understand why men closer to my age do not find me appealing. I don't wear much makeup at all, and I consider myself to be pretty up-to-date with fashion trends. Although I appear as youthful as possible, guys in their early to mid-20s stay away from me. I don't think I look much older than I am. How can I stop attracting these types of men? I want to date someone youthful, not 15 years older than me. -- Too Young for Me, Detroit

DEAR TOO YOUNG FOR ME: It's time for a self-assessment. Make a list of the qualities that you like in a man. Be specific. Then look at the men you have dated to see if any of them matches your profile. Are you attracted to older men without realizing it? That could be true. You might also simply be mature for your age -- not so much how you look, but how you behave. While 10 years seems like an enormous gap now, it actually is a comfortable gap for many couples. Let the qualities guide you in finding a partner, not the man's age.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is currently pledging a fraternity at his school. I was in a sorority myself, and I know that sometimes hazing is a part of the pledging process. I speak with my son frequently, and he seems tired and overworked. There seem to be too many requirements for him to be accepted into this fraternity. Although I try talking some sense into him, he is adamant to keep pledging. He will pay for the fraternity himself, so I can't threaten to take it away from him by not funding it. I was considering contacting his university as an anonymous tipster, but I don't know if I'd be taking away my son's brotherhood and friends. I know times have changed since I joined a sorority, and I think everyone should adopt a no-hazing policy. Should I contact the university? I'm worried these boys are going to take things too far, and I don't want to see my son hurt. -- Worrying from Home, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR WORRYING FROM HOME: Being tired and overworked are part of the pledge process for many students because they still have to fit in their studies as they participate in a broad range of fraternal activities. That is different from hazing. If you fear that your son's life may be in danger, by all means, contact the school. If you are just generally worried about him but are in touch with him regularly, I would recommend continuing to listen to him without stepping in. If you ever sense that he is unsafe, make the call.

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a month ago, I let my roommate borrow my car for an emergency. I assumed this would be a one-time occurrence. He said it was for an emergency! Boy, was I wrong. Since the first time I let him borrow my car, my roommate has taken it skiing for the day, has used it whenever he needs to go to the grocery store and has even asked me if he could borrow it for the weekend. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. I usually don't like other people driving my car, however my roommate never took the liberty of asking me if he could use my car after the first time. He just says, "It's all right if I take your car now, right? You're hanging out at home anyway." I've never been paid back for gas or properly asked to borrow my car. I need to put my foot down and have my inconsiderate roommate realize that he is not paying for the lease on my car and therefore does not have the right to drive it. -- My Wheels, Atlanta

DEAR MY WHEELS: Take your keys back and keep them where your roommate cannot find them. Tell him that he can no longer drive your car. Most important is that he is not on your insurance. Explain that you let him use your car once in an emergency but cannot allow it again. Rather than going into his bad manners, stick to the insurance. It really is a deal-breaker.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm 33, and as I look around me, I see all of my friends getting married and having babies. I already got the marriage part down; it's the baby-making part I need serious help in. By now I imagined that I would be successful, married, happy and raising two girls. I'm successful, happy and married -- but I don't have my girls. Due to a medical condition, I can't have kids. I found that out a year ago. I beat myself up internally every day. How can I be a woman and not be able to do the one job I'm specifically designed to do? I started in vitro and prayed for a miracle day in and day out. It's now a year later, and it still hasn't been successful.

When my doctor brought up adoption, my husband immediately shut that down. He said he doesn't want to care for a child unless it comes from my womb. He knows how hard all of this is for me, but it's like he doesn't understand. I don't know why he refuses to love an adopted child like he would a blood-related one. He claims that he wants to look in the child's eyes and know that he, God and I created such a blessing. He says with an adopted child he can't feel that connection. Should I go on and adopt a child anyway? I'm not getting any younger. I really wanted to be a mom by now, and I feel as though I'd make a great mother. I hate that my husband refuses to get on board, but should that really stop me? Am I crazy for wanting to adopt even if that means raising the child without my husband? Or should I just forget this dream of having children altogether and let it remain only a dream? -- Baby Fever, Reno, Nevada

DEAR BABY FEVER: Couples therapy seems like step one for you. Have a professional help you and your husband sort through your feelings. Be sure to include adoption in the discussion. In order to adopt while married, your husband has to agree. If you want to proceed without him, you may have to end your marriage. Don't take any of this lightly. Talk it out and figure out the next steps together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It's spring break time at my son's school, and due to work and poor scheduling, I have not planned anything special for the time off. My son is upset, and I want to make it up to him somehow. What can I do so he can enjoy himself even though we will be at home? --Spring Broken, New Haven, Connecticut

DEAR SPRING BROKEN: Look around in your town and neighboring areas to see what fun activities are available. This could be laser tag, an indoor water park, a special show at a museum or a ballgame. The next step is finding someone he can do this with. Check to see which other children are in town. Chances are, a few children didn't go away with their families. Create an in-town fun group that goes together to some of these things. Finally, take off a day or afternoon when you can just hang out with your son and let him know you are thinking about him.