DEAR HARRIETTE: My family dynamic has always been messed up. I don't get along with my brother or my parents, because my parents clearly favor him over me due to the fact that I had a child right out of high school. It does not matter to them that I am a productive member of society who pays her own bills, has her master's degree and does not live at home; they will not stop holding my teenage indiscretion against me.

I recently stopped attending family holiday events, because while I get along with my younger brother and sister, my older brother, my parents and I cannot seem to make it through being in the room together without some sort of snide comment being made or it devolving into a full-blown argument.

We have a family occasion coming up soon that would bring us all together for a weekend down South, but I am tempted not to go to avoid the drama and the headaches. Do you think I should suck it up and go to the event, or do you think I am making the right decision by staying home? I will always love my family, but the back and forth has become quite tiresome. -- No More Drama, New Orleans

DEAR NO MORE DRAMA: In advance of your upcoming weekend, reach out to your family. Schedule a face-to-face if you can. Put your cards on the table. Tell them how uncomfortable you continually feel based on the way that you believe they treat you. Acknowledge that you had a child at a young age and that you have created a viable life for yourself and your family. Point out that you wish they would be proud of you -- or at least accepting -- but that what you feel is their constant judgment. Tell them that you don't feel accepted or welcome, but you want to be close. Express your trepidation about the next reunion, given how you feel they mistreat you when you are together. Ask them if they would be willing to refresh the relationship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 24-year-old recent graduate with a degree in marketing. I had a marketing job for about eight months, but I was laid off from the small business I was working for. With that said, you can imagine my dismay when I look at entry-level marketing positions that want you to have two or three years of experience. I have been a marketing volunteer for a few events around the city, but they usually have you doing only a couple of menial tasks, and I really need to get some experience.

I know I would do well if I got the chance, but I can't seem to break through. I recently talked to someone who told me to make my own experience, and I have been considering freelancing since. Do you think this is a good way to build experience toward the career I want? -- A Go-Getter, Detroit

DEAR A GO-GETTER: You are smart to look for creative ways to build job experience. Identify charities that may need extra support and start off volunteering, if need be, to gain experience. Do your job so well that your volunteer coordinator will seriously consider hiring you, or at least giving you a great recommendation. Of course, any paid freelance work you can get is top priority!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had been feeling kind of stuck in my career trajectory for a while now, and until recently, I couldn't figure out why for the life of me. It became clear when I had lunch with a friend of mine, who works in the same profession as me. She is successful and moving quickly along her path. When I asked her how, she said she could not have done any of it without her mentor. She went on to talk to me about why having one is crucial, and about all of the benefits having a mentor has given to her.

When my friend found out I did not have a mentor, she told me I needed to get one immediately -- in her words, "like yesterday." I think this would be a great idea, but I have no idea where to start.

Do you think mentors are a good idea? If so, what do you think I should look for in one? -- Ready to Move Forward, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR READY TO MOVE FORWARD: I think mentors can be key in helping propel people's careers forward. Look for someone who is knowledgeable about your field of interest and who has a good reputation. Identify someone who is accessible to you, whether by a written letter asking for an informational interview or by referral. When you meet, explain your career dreams and ask if the person can provide you with guidance on how to get to your goal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been friends with a girl I met since the first day of school months back. In the couple of months we've known each other, we've become fast friends. It's nice to have someone who genuinely cares. We hang out, go to the mall, out to dinner, the movies, etc. My friend is bisexual, and I had no problems with that. Lately, though, I feel like she's forming a crush on me. She knows I have a boyfriend, but she says little things that allude to her liking me as more than just friends. At first I took it as her just being nice. Then she began to say things like, "You make me so happy" and "Whenever I see you, I smile because you're so pretty."

If she does like me, it's like she won't say it directly. She'll just hint at it. Maybe she's waiting for me to address it? If she does like me, how do I let her down easy? What's our friendship supposed to be like if this is the case? I really do like her as a friend and enjoy her company. -- Rejection's Not Easy, Boston

DEAR REJECTION'S NOT EASY: Don't make assumptions. Get the facts. If you do not want a romantic relationship with this woman and you believe she does, bring it up. Tell her how much you value your friendship. Tell her you are concerned that she may be growing interested in you and that you are worried about that. Point out that you are not bisexual, you have a boyfriend and you don't want to lose her friendship. Ask her what she thinks about everything. Come to a conclusion together about how to preserve your friendship.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am writing to you regarding how to conduct myself when a touchy subject comes up: addiction. My family has a history of addiction, and when I was a teenager, my father committed suicide due to his reliance on drugs and alcohol.

I am not an addict, and thankfully no one in my family currently is, but I clearly have a connection and knowledge about addicts. Decades have passed since this tragedy, and I don't reveal this often about my past. However, when a celebrity is called an addict or there are rumors about substance abuse, I try to give my two cents. Many people don't know what addiction is actually like. People don't take my advice seriously, and they ask what I know about reliance on drugs and alcohol. That's when I get uncomfortable. I know I can't say I am a good source without sharing my story, but I think it's important someone with knowledge chimes in instead of just gossips.

Should I keep my story to myself? I don't know if my father's story would be sympathized with or sensationalized. -- Knowledgeable But Private, Albany, New York

DEAR KNOWLEDGEABLE BUT PRIVATE: The only way you will be considered a credible voice among your friends -- or others -- when the topic of addiction comes up is for you to speak your truth. It may be time for you to reveal your personal story, including how devastating it was for your family to lose your father. You may also want to check in with a therapist to ensure that you are in a good emotional space before you make such a huge revelation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an incredibly strict diet. I compulsively count calories and exercise, but never to the point of malnourishment or hospitalization. I enjoy being thin, but I would never starve myself to the point where I look skeletal. I never thought about others noticing my eating habits until I was called out at a family brunch. I have a rule for myself that I eat only one-third to one-half of my plate and take the rest to go or have it thrown out. When my brother said how obvious my eating disorder was I was shocked. I would never make such claims about someone. I told him I am on a strict diet and he should mind his business, and an uncomfortable air settled over the table. Someone changed the topic, but it seemed like everyone was in agreement with him.

I didn't end up eating the rest of my food, but I am wondering what my next steps should be. Do I sweep this under the rug? Should I show my family exactly how my diet works so they won't be worried about me? -- No Disorder, Just Strict, Boston

DEAR NO DISORDER, JUST STRICT: The way you describe your controlled eating leads me to suggest to you that you check in with your doctor. Schedule a physical where your doctor checks your vitals. Tell him or her about your eating strategy, and let the doctor weigh in on whether you are indeed headed down a healthy path. He or she may recommend adjustments to your plan, suggest you visit a nutritionist or tell you if what you are doing now is right for you. Having a professional second opinion will support you and give you information to share with your family that will possibly get them to back off.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)