DEAR READERS: I just got back from an eye-opening humanitarian trip to India. I went on behalf of a philanthropic organization, The PRASAD Project (theprasadproject.org), for which I serve on the board. What I witnessed changed my perspective on life.

Like many of you, I pride myself on being conscientious about the way that others live. I do not presume that everyone has the tangible blessings that I have. Being grateful for the plenty in my life and knowing the importance of the Biblical notion "to whom much is given, much is expected," I visited this amazing country with my eyes open. The small international group with whom I traveled came together to visit the various projects that we have developed and funded. The work of The PRASAD Project (which stands for Philanthropic Relief, Altruistic Service And Development) is intended to uplift and empower children and families in need -- to help them help themselves.

The breadth of need gave me pause. As we traveled to different destinations largely on dirt roads in the forest of the Tansa Valley, about two hours outside of Mumbai, we saw many people walking: women with strong backs and bare feet balancing aluminum bowls of water on their heads; girls and boys laughing and talking wearing crisp uniforms, nearly half of them shoeless on the rock-filled road; dry land as far as you could see with no water for drinking or bathing for miles.

Life for these people, known as Adivasis, the tribal people of India, is harder than anything I can imagine experiencing firsthand, let alone on a daily basis. And yet there was a tremendous sense of dignity, hope and conviction in each of their faces; for many we engaged, there was a heartfelt expression of gratitude. We visited one village of 25 families that had just finished building, with our support, a toilet for each home. Up until 2016, they had no formal sanitation. Another village showed us the water pump that we helped them install. It sits a few hundred feet away from the water hole that they have used for generations to feed their families. The water in that hole was yellow and murky, sure to harbor disease.

I could share endless stories of the transformation we witnessed thanks to the generosity of people who want to help those in need -- even when they may be experiencing struggles themselves. The effect of a small donation -- to restore eyesight, to feed a starving child, to empower women -- was palpable for all to see.

What I want to say to you is that whether it is my charity of choice or another, please seriously consider giving to those who are struggling to survive. Recognizing that we live in a global community where some people literally cannot find clean water or a place to go to the bathroom is a powerful reminder that we must be our brother’s keeper. It cannot be OK for some of us to enjoy luxuries ad infinitum if we do not also support our brothers and sisters and children who would benefit enormously from even a tiny gift from us.

I left India with the smiles of children, who had just received milk from our nutrition program, emblazoned on my heart. I dream of a world where all of our children are well-fed and healthy, where all of our families are connected and strong and where all of our communities feel supported on their journey to live honorable, sustainable lives. Don’t you?

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the past three years, I've dated four guys. Each time, it was fairly casual -- or that's how it seemed to me. However, a few of them were ready to commit to being in a relationship.

When I looked back at each situation, I tried to analyze what was missing for me from each of these relationships and came to the conclusion that what was missing was chemistry. I am a practical person, but when it comes to relationships, the chemistry has always had to be there. I am getting older and don't want to end up alone, and I am starting to reconsider my stance.

What are your thoughts on the importance of chemistry in a relationship? Should I keep it on my list as a requirement, or am I just being irresponsible at this point? -- Made to Love, Dalllas

DEAR MADE TO LOVE: I recently met a woman who has been married for more than 30 years, thanks to an arranged marriage, a common experience in her culture. She described a happy, healthy life that she has had with her husband and family, one that was built on trust that her parents selected the right partner for her, coupled with the commitment that people marry for life.

In American culture, especially now, the mores are different. People fall in and out of love and do not necessarily think a relationship will last unless the fires are forever burning. I believe reality lives somewhere in between for most of us. Instead of searching for chemistry, write a list of attributes and interests that you find important in a life partner. The list can include anything from sense of humor to responsibility to devotion to family. Avoid physical features, which change over time. But you can add attributes about how you feel when you are with him. Be open to a partner who shares your values about life, love and commitment. Then welcome the chemistry in!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a three-level house that was made into several apartments, and while I love my neighbors, I have an issue. We don't live on a really dangerous street, but it's not all peaches and cream. Despite that, my downstairs neighbors insist on leaving the door unlocked when they take a trip to the store down the street. Recently, a random person tried to break into my apartment while my neighbors were on one of their quick trips. We spoke about this, and my neighbors agreed to not leave the door open, which worked for a few months.

Recently, I've noticed my neighbors have gone back to their old habits, and I want to know what I should do. Should I try to talk to them again, or should I go over their heads? I would hate to do that, but I need to feel safe. -- How Did You Get Here, Philadelphia

DEAR HOW DID YOU GET HERE: Go directly to your landlord and explain the situation. Ask to have an automatic lock put on the outer door to the house. This will solve your problem, as it will require that every time the door closes, it will have to be reopened with a key.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My only child just turned 6. We just moved, and I put him in private school. Lately, he's been having trouble understanding why he doesn't look like his other classmates. He asks me constantly why is his skin darker and why doesn't their hair curl up even when it's wet? I told him that everyone comes from different backgrounds. The one we come from has a sad but courageous and interesting history. It also means that we're darker than some ethnicities. This school does have a majority of white and Southern American kids.

I don't want my baby questioning himself on a daily basis because nobody else looks like him. He tells me that he misses the previous school because the kids looked like him and everyone was "nice and brown like me." How do I get my son to love who he is and how he looks before this becomes a real identity issue? He needs to learn those developmental skills and how to deal with social issues like this. -- Schools and Social Issues, Washington, D.C.

DEAR SCHOOLS AND SOCIAL ISSUES: Teach your son about his cultural heritage, but without apology. Teach him stories of courage and strength. Tell him about your family heritage, and show him examples of people who look like him. Don't leave the school, but add extracurricular activities that put him in contact with people of your cultural background. You can round out his experience so he can feel safe and prosper.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is 17, turning 18 this July. Raising a teen in this day and age is difficult, especially with negative influences everywhere. I find it so hard to let her go out and be in the real world. I still make her come home by at least 8. She gets upset with me because as she puts it, "the party doesn't even start at 8. It starts at like 9. Everyone thinks I'm lame now."

I can't seem to let her go, though. She's my baby, my firstborn. It feels like I just had her and then I woke up today and she's on her way to graduating from high school. I'm not ready for her to become a woman yet. She tries to wear makeup. I shut that down. Only recently have I begun to let her do her eyebrows.

How do I let her grow up and into this young woman? In five months, whether I like it or not, she'll be heading to college. I want to learn how to let her grow up so that we can have a better relationship. -- Growing Pains, New York City

DEAR GROWING PAINS: Your job as a parent is to prepare your daughter to be independent. It's not too late to talk to her in that way. Admit that her growing up is hard for you and that you have not been handling it well. Tell her you want to be more accepting of her where she is. The best thing you can do is to try to get her to talk to you. Listen carefully, and attempt to not judge. Trust her ideas. Let her express them to you. Otherwise, you risk her being reckless when she leaves home.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)