DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always wanted to have a job that allows me to travel. I have found a student teaching program that would allow me to travel to Argentina and teach young students English. I was excited for this opportunity until I told my mother about the student teaching. She told me that I don't seem like I would be a good teacher yet, but that I would be ready in a few years.

This seriously crushed me, even though my mother emphasized that I would get to a good level one day. I didn't think I was unprepared for this venture, and my mother totally ruined my mood and is making me second-guess myself. Do I continue with my student teaching dream? My mother used to be a teacher herself. -- Going My Own Way, Cleveland

DEAR GOING MY OWN WAY: Who knows why your mother is a naysayer on this point? Rather than giving up, do some research. Contact the people who are organizing the program and learn about the qualifications. Assess with the organizers whether you are capable. Generally, these positions are filled by college students or recent college graduates. There is a very good chance you will do a fine job.

Your mother may be remembering her days as a teacher. She may even be unconsciously a bit envious about your opportunity. Love her and live your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am really butting heads with my fiance regarding planning our wedding. We have just gotten engaged and have a few years to go until the date itself. He is adamant about privacy in our wedding ceremony, and I think weddings should be the more the merrier. It seems like there is virtually no compromise between 50 and 400 guests. I want to start the conversation with my fiance now so we're both happy when our wedding day rolls around. How can I get him to be comfortable to have more guests at the wedding? I know I cannot get my guest list smaller. I have a big family! -- More Fun for Everyone, Seattle

DEAR MORE FUN FOR EVERYONE: This is an important topic for your life. Since you have a big family and are close to them, your wedding is only the first activity where there will likely be a big gathering. Continue to talk through your concepts about family and intimacy. One idea for a wedding compromise is to have a small ceremony with only immediate family, followed by a larger reception party with the whole group. That gets tricky when the guests you are talking about are actual family members, not friends or business associates.

Talk about each of your family traditions, how you gather, who pays for what normally. This is important because a wedding for 400 people will be costly. Chances are, you can shave off some guests without bruising too many feelings. You may even want to plan a destination wedding, which naturally makes the group smaller. Good luck.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been notoriously horrible with names my whole life. I have found ways to help me remember names, like slideshows. After a Weight Watchers meeting, I will record the people I meet and go over it once or twice in the week so I can greet people accordingly the next time I see them. I never thought of this as an invasive practice until my co-worker caught me "studying" on my computer. I explained that remembering names is hard for me, so I record the interaction so I can recall the name and person who I was speaking to. She called this "creepy."

I've never thought of my process as something that would make someone uncomfortable; I just found a way to fix a problem about myself. Should I stop with the slideshows? I don't want any rumors going around about me at work. -- Not Creepy, Just Forgetful, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR NOT CREEPY, JUST FORGETFUL: You do not have to change your strategy for memory. You may just need to be more discreet in the future. Know that your solution is commonly used for dignitaries and notables when they are attending events. Their staffs prepare sheets with photos, names and titles of key people they may meet so that the images are fresh in the dignitary's mind. Similarly, publicists use the strategy to be able to identify guests as they are arriving at an event. The point is that you are not alone. Keep your method. It works.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was in an incredibly small store recently, and as I turned, my ponytail knocked a trinket off the shelf and broke it. The owner and I proceeded to have a bit of an argument after this because there was no "You Break It, You Buy It" sign hung in this minuscule store. We ended up compromising, and I paid for 50 percent of the item. I still think this was unjust. If storekeepers set up their stores like this, it should not be my responsibility to pay for the items I damage by accident. Should I not have put up a fight? I clearly broke this by accident. -- Cramped Spaces, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR CRAMPED SPACES: It's too bad that you got caught in that. I think it was reasonable for you to put up a bit of a fight about paying for the broken item given the circumstances, but it was also fair that you came to a compromise.

In the future, I recommend that you avoid going into any retail space that looks too cramped for comfort, as it probably is!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother's last years were fairly hectic. He was sick with cancer and unfortunately passed about a week ago. He was married for many years, but as he became ill, his wife left him for a new man. He passed, surrounded by loved ones, but his wife broke her vows by not staying with him in sickness. Now that he has passed, she reached out to the family asking if she could attend the funeral.

My brother's estranged wife wants to right her wrongs now, but there are some strong feelings against her in my family. I would like to deny her request, but know it may be morally corrupt to deny her this opportunity for closure. The funeral is in a week. Should I allow her to come to the funeral? -- Slighted Brother, Des Moines, Iowa

DEAR SLIGHTED BROTHER: Have a family meeting to discuss this. It's understandable that some members would not want her at the funeral. What she did was hurtful and seemingly very selfish. And yet it was their business. If the family can forgive her and allow her to come to the service, let her know. If allowed, she should not bring the other man. If the decision is no, tell her that the family asked for her to respect them by not attending. Be a united front.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work closely with a woman in my company. We collaborate on documents and spend a lot of time coming up with ideas and brainstorming. I enjoy her company, but her organizational skills drive me insane. She is one of the most disorganized co-workers in my company. She has countless documents that are repetitive and lose meaning quickly. It is very difficult for me to keep up with her. What's worse is that she believes she is extremely well-organized. Having hundreds of documents to sift through does not help anyone stay organized!

I would like to communicate with her, kindly, that she is not as well-organized as she thinks she is. We have the same job, therefore the same ranking, so I'm not quite sure how to word this. -- Streamline, Dallas

DEAR STREAMLINE: Rather than cutting her down by letting her know she's not as organized as she thinks, why not share some of your strategies with her? As you are discussing a particular subject, show her how you have set up your files for that project. Do so without lecturing. Walk her through your system so she can see another way of organizing.

In terms of repetitive and unclear communication, talk to her about how you record ideas. When documents do not make sense to you, point that out to her. If you address things in the moment, it is easier because it is often less emotionally charged. You may also want to reconsider roles when you collaborate. What is she good at doing? If she has good ideas but is not skilled at capturing them in writing, maybe you take the lead on documentation to ensure that your collective work works.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)