DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been notoriously horrible with names my whole life. I have found ways to help me remember names, like slideshows. After a Weight Watchers meeting, I will record the people I meet and go over it once or twice in the week so I can greet people accordingly the next time I see them. I never thought of this as an invasive practice until my co-worker caught me "studying" on my computer. I explained that remembering names is hard for me, so I record the interaction so I can recall the name and person who I was speaking to. She called this "creepy."

I've never thought of my process as something that would make someone uncomfortable; I just found a way to fix a problem about myself. Should I stop with the slideshows? I don't want any rumors going around about me at work. -- Not Creepy, Just Forgetful, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR NOT CREEPY, JUST FORGETFUL: You do not have to change your strategy for memory. You may just need to be more discreet in the future. Know that your solution is commonly used for dignitaries and notables when they are attending events. Their staffs prepare sheets with photos, names and titles of key people they may meet so that the images are fresh in the dignitary's mind. Similarly, publicists use the strategy to be able to identify guests as they are arriving at an event. The point is that you are not alone. Keep your method. It works.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was in an incredibly small store recently, and as I turned, my ponytail knocked a trinket off the shelf and broke it. The owner and I proceeded to have a bit of an argument after this because there was no "You Break It, You Buy It" sign hung in this minuscule store. We ended up compromising, and I paid for 50 percent of the item. I still think this was unjust. If storekeepers set up their stores like this, it should not be my responsibility to pay for the items I damage by accident. Should I not have put up a fight? I clearly broke this by accident. -- Cramped Spaces, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR CRAMPED SPACES: It's too bad that you got caught in that. I think it was reasonable for you to put up a bit of a fight about paying for the broken item given the circumstances, but it was also fair that you came to a compromise.

In the future, I recommend that you avoid going into any retail space that looks too cramped for comfort, as it probably is!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother's last years were fairly hectic. He was sick with cancer and unfortunately passed about a week ago. He was married for many years, but as he became ill, his wife left him for a new man. He passed, surrounded by loved ones, but his wife broke her vows by not staying with him in sickness. Now that he has passed, she reached out to the family asking if she could attend the funeral.

My brother's estranged wife wants to right her wrongs now, but there are some strong feelings against her in my family. I would like to deny her request, but know it may be morally corrupt to deny her this opportunity for closure. The funeral is in a week. Should I allow her to come to the funeral? -- Slighted Brother, Des Moines, Iowa

DEAR SLIGHTED BROTHER: Have a family meeting to discuss this. It's understandable that some members would not want her at the funeral. What she did was hurtful and seemingly very selfish. And yet it was their business. If the family can forgive her and allow her to come to the service, let her know. If allowed, she should not bring the other man. If the decision is no, tell her that the family asked for her to respect them by not attending. Be a united front.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work closely with a woman in my company. We collaborate on documents and spend a lot of time coming up with ideas and brainstorming. I enjoy her company, but her organizational skills drive me insane. She is one of the most disorganized co-workers in my company. She has countless documents that are repetitive and lose meaning quickly. It is very difficult for me to keep up with her. What's worse is that she believes she is extremely well-organized. Having hundreds of documents to sift through does not help anyone stay organized!

I would like to communicate with her, kindly, that she is not as well-organized as she thinks she is. We have the same job, therefore the same ranking, so I'm not quite sure how to word this. -- Streamline, Dallas

DEAR STREAMLINE: Rather than cutting her down by letting her know she's not as organized as she thinks, why not share some of your strategies with her? As you are discussing a particular subject, show her how you have set up your files for that project. Do so without lecturing. Walk her through your system so she can see another way of organizing.

In terms of repetitive and unclear communication, talk to her about how you record ideas. When documents do not make sense to you, point that out to her. If you address things in the moment, it is easier because it is often less emotionally charged. You may also want to reconsider roles when you collaborate. What is she good at doing? If she has good ideas but is not skilled at capturing them in writing, maybe you take the lead on documentation to ensure that your collective work works.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My children are 4 and 6 years old. They are young now, so they go to day camp over the summer. However, I was thinking recently that in a few years, different arrangements for their summers will have to be made. I went to sleepaway camp for years and had the best summers of my life in the hills of Pennsylvania. My husband never went to camp other than brief day camps. He played sports or went on family vacations during his summers growing up.

When I mentioned sending our children to camp, my husband said, "Bad parents send their kids to camp because they don't want to spend time with them." Excuse me? My parents had to work long hours as I was growing up, and they definitely needed a break in the summertime. They also wanted my sister and me to meet hundreds of other children and be in nature.

I never knew my husband was so against sending children away for a summer. He really struck a nerve with me. I want my kids to go to summer camp at some point in their lives. -- Struck a Nerve, Boston

DEAR STRUCK A NERVE: This strikes a chord with me. I was not a summer camp kid at all, but my 12-year-old daughter has been going to summer camp for four years now. Why? She really wanted to go, so I researched camps and found one, recommended by her school, that seemed safe and interesting. We started slow, with the shortest allowable stay of two weeks.

Begin to look into camps now; find out what families attend the ones that interest you, and tell your husband that there are tremendous benefits from the experience. Two weeks is hardly the whole summer, so starting with a short stay may pique your husband's interest a little. Of course, you also have to have a child who wants to do it. Between your two children, you will learn whether either or both want to try it out. If so, suggest to your husband that you give it a try.

Regarding the apology, it's not necessary. Just work on getting your children into a positive experience.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love my brother immensely, but he refuses every form of help. His girlfriend recently kicked him out of their home because he cheated on her after a night of drunken debauchery. Since then, he has been sleeping outside on the porch of what used to be his home! He looks like a dog attempting to repent for his sins. His girlfriend hasn't spoken to him, and she put his belongings out for him to take away. My family has offered to take him in for a little while so he can find an apartment, but he has just been sleeping on this couch for days! How do we talk some sense into him? I think he believes they'll get back together when it's clearly over. -- Let Me Help You, Denver

DEAR LET ME HELP YOU: Offer shelter to your brother and remind him that he doesn't live with his girlfriend anymore. Point out that if he continues, she may have him arrested. Otherwise, let this run its course. He has to learn his own lessons, as hard as it may be for you to watch.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)