DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is extremely bipolar. He admits he has some mental issues and says he is on medication, but I think he needs more. He'll have wild mood swings, and I honestly cannot keep up.

I know I have to be supportive of my friend when he's having a panic attack, but I'm not licensed, and I don't know how to help. I am not a medical professional, and I do not know anyone else with the same problems. I seem to have become his go-to friend whenever he is having a crisis. His girlfriend broke up with him, and I have become his impromptu counselor. I don't want to distance myself because of my fear that he'll do something drastic, but I really cannot be around anxious, panicking energy all the time. What should I do? -- Not a Therapist, Baltimore

DEAR NOT A THERAPIST: The kindest thing you can do is draw the line. Tell your friend that you are incapable of supporting him through his emotional episodes. Ask him if you can help him make an appointment to see his doctor. If he refuses to get medical help, you should tell him you have to back away from him for now. Distancing yourself, as other loved ones have done, may help him to go to the professional who really can help him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This weekend, my family is having a reunion. I'm excited to see my extended family and all my cousins. However, I agreed to go before I found out some very important information. My brother is also attending this reunion.

Six years ago, my brother didn't respect my relationship at the time and refused to walk me down the aisle. Our dad had passed away two years prior to my wedding, so I was devastated at his rejection. Even though the guy and I didn't work out in the end, I feel as though my brother still could've supported me. It's been years since I've seen him, and I'm not sure if I really want to. I already promised my mom I would be there. Plus, I know how much it would mean to her to have both of her kids present. I'm still upset and hurt by his actions.

I want to go to the reunion, but I don't want to partake in any drama. How do I get to at least a cordial place with my brother? Do I still attend the reunion? If I do, should I just avoid him? -- Reuniting Doesn't Feel So Good, New Mexico

DEAR REUNITING DOESN'T FEEL SO GOOD: The best thing you can do in this situation is to offer forgiveness. Start with forgiving yourself for being so judgmental of your brother. Perhaps he took the stand he did because he felt the man you were marrying was bad for you. Maybe he could have let you know differently, but his heart may have been in the right place -- looking out for you. Forgive him for not supporting you in the way you felt you needed. Forgive each other for being distant for so long. With a heart of forgiveness, you can go to the family reunion feeling love and gratitude to be able to see your whole family, including your brother. Just give him a hug and sincerely choose to have a great time.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I tend to use pretty profane language in my daily life. I never curse in professional or family settings, but when I am with my friends, I let loose. On a night out, a woman overheard me say a certain four-letter word, and she interrupted my private conversation and told me that I am "too beautiful to say that word." Frankly, this rubbed me the wrong way. Would a man have been corrected like this? Was I supposed to take her reprimand as a compliment? I just acknowledged her and said thank you, but her comment got me thinking. I was having a private conversation, but it appears my words offended her. Should I have been censoring myself even though it was a night out at a nice bar? -- Party Potty Mouth, Boston

DEAR PARTY POTTY MOUTH: You have hit on a couple of different issues here. In general, though cursing in public has become commonplace, it can still be offensive to those around you. Now, you were in a bar, where cursing is part of the ongoing dialogue. But I, for one, would be happy for people to curse less regardless of gender.

That said, this woman was out of line and sexist. If you weren't "beautiful" or if you were a man, would she have reprimanded you? What she thought is that you -- of all people, implying someone who should be more refined -- would hear her and be struck by her comment and possibly stop cursing.

The whole thing is messy and wrong. While I do not subscribe to her way of thinking, I do believe less is more when it comes to four- and five-letter words.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I got ourselves in trouble with a few mothers recently. We were caught gossiping about a different mother's children. I feel so sad and petty that I engaged in this gossip -- especially about teenagers! My sister and I are fortunate enough to live in the same town and have our kids go to the same school. We got caught up speaking at a get-together in a private room and began gossiping about our children and their friends. When we looked up, we saw two other mothers looking at us! I was mortified. My sister and I played it off, but I know there is judgment going around. What can I say to redeem myself to these women? I am honestly so ashamed of myself that I let myself gossip about teenagers as a grown woman. -- Gossip Mom, Denver

DEAR GOSSIP MOM: This is where a sincere apology comes in. You should seek out the mothers who heard you and admit to your bad behavior. You may want to acknowledge that you now see how quickly kids can be fueled by gossip, since you got caught up in it, and, as an adult, you should know better. Apologize for what you said. Be sure to tell your children what happened, too. There is a very good chance they will find out. Let them hear it from you first.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My work causes me to take four business trips throughout the year. Other co-workers have much more frequent, and shorter, trips to New York, Miami and Dallas. I consider myself lucky that I only have to travel quarterly and for a few days at a time. I have been at this job for just over a year now, and every time I have gone away, I Skype with my wife. I am typically away for four to five days, and each time I've gone away, my wife has broken down.

She does miss me, but she is mostly stressed because I am not there to split chores with her, so she must work and take care of our three young children alone. She does not want to take days off when we could use those on a family vacation. What can I do to make my business trips bearable instead of dreadful for my wife and stressful for me? Everything seems to unravel at home when I leave, and it affects my performance at work. -- Traveling Father, Detroit

DEAR TRAVELING FATHER: You may be able to help the family by getting your wife help. If a family member lives nearby, ask him or her to step in when you are away. Or hire someone to support with housework and the children. She may not like this at first, but she has to learn to adjust to your schedule. When you talk to her, stay positive and assure her that it will all work out. Select a helper who is strong and compassionate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a personal assistant whom I rely on for many things, mostly scheduling. As I was on my way to the airport for a family vacation, he called me and frantically explained he forgot to buy a ticket for one of my children. After I spent a good half-hour negotiating a seat, the flight went off without a hitch. Upon arrival, the rooms that I had wanted booked didn't have the proper number of beds in them.

I was very angry with my assistant, but I wanted to enjoy my vacation, so I told him I'd speak to him when I got back. My wife and mother-in-law told me to spare him because he's young, and this is the first mistake he's made. I was still angry. I pay him pretty well, and he has reasonable hours. Should I give him another chance or fire him for not doing what I ask him to? These two fumbles could have ruined my vacation. -- Mad Boss, Dallas

DEAR MAD BOSS: This is not the moment for a firing. Instead, it is the perfect time for teaching. Your assistant messed up. Talk to him about the importance of paying attention to details. Explain to him what his checklist should look like so that he doesn't miss important duties. There is a good chance that he doesn't know how to think through all of the moving parts the way that you consider to be basic steps. Teach him how to take care of you. And go over your schedule with him before each major activity until you feel confident that he has it under control.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)