DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two children who are teenagers. In the past, they've been extremely active, but as they entered middle and high school, they slowly dropped sports. I know children grow out of sports all of the time, but the lack of physical activity seems to be catching up to them. They have visibly gained weight, and they aren't as energetic as they once were. I have tried to bring up exercising together, but apparently being active is "lame"! I want to instill healthy values into my teenagers. How can I get them to get active so they don't become eternal couch potatoes? -- Fit Mother, Detroit

DEAR FIT MOTHER: Speak to their pediatrician. Explain your concerns, and ask the doctor to examine them and require physical activity if he agrees with your concern. Schedule a physical for each of them. The blood work will reveal if they have developed any real health issues at this point. If the doctor prescribes an exercise or nutrition plan, you have greater authority to enforce it.

Obviously you are their mother, but you well know that teenagers can be challenging to manage. Armed with doctor's orders, you can be insistent about their fitness. Other things you can do include stocking only healthy snacks in your home, continuing to invite them to participate in fun physical activities and talking to them about the importance of cultivating healthy habits. Try not to reprimand them for becoming less active. Instead, work hard to inspire them to want to be more active.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at a high-end restaurant to make money while I attend college. My entire shift, I have to be polite and the best server I can possibly be. Although some guests can be difficult, I always try to be nice. I have noticed the busboys being incredibly rude to customers and even rolling their eyes at their requests! I try to step in, but it usually just adds more tension. I don't want to get fired because of these interactions; I just want everyone to behave. Could I reprimand the busboys I work with, or should I ask my manager to find new busboys? -- Restaurant Nightmares, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR RESTAURANT NIGHTMARES: I recommend a softer approach. At the end of a shift, start by saying something directly to the busboys. Ask them to work with you so that together you take care of the customers. Next, speak to your manager. Share your concerns about the attitude that the busboys have had. Tell him your concern about the customers getting upset because of their behavior. Ask your manager for help so that everybody is professional.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a mother of a 7-year-old who loves pork. I haven't eaten pork or red meat since my mid-20s because I don't believe it's healthy; I was even a vegetarian for a few years. Needless to say, I've been trying to keep my kid away from pork and red meat, too. So, how might I have come to have a 7-year-old who loves it, you ask? The problem is that my ex-husband does not share the same ideals I do. Whenever he goes over to his house, he eats pork -- or "real bacon," as he calls it -- or eggs with ham. I don't want to seem like too much of a stickler, but I'm not happy about this. Is this something I should speak to my ex-husband about? -- Vexed Ex-Vegetarian, Syracuse, New York

DEAR VEXED EX-VEGETARIAN: It can't hurt to speak to your ex about your son's diet and your choices about what you allow him to eat. You can certainly ask him not to give pork to your son when he visits. I have done something with my daughter that you may want to consider: I allow her to eat foods that are not part of our regular menu of options on occasion, so that she knows what they are and how they taste and so that she doesn't develop an unhealthy attraction to anything. For me, this includes fast food and unhealthy snacks. Occasional bacon won't likely hurt your son's body. Forbidding it entirely could drive him to want it more and to lie about what he eats at his father's house.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Although I have wanted a tattoo for a long time, I always chicken out at the appointment date. I scheduled an appointment for next week and just had a nightmare about my artist giving me a different tattoo than what I asked for. Is this a sign that I shouldn't be getting any ink on my body? I trust my tattoo artist, but I feel like my body never carries through with going to the appointments for some reason. I don't think I'll ever stop wanting my tattoo, but I want to figure out some methods to force myself to follow through with an appointment. How can I get over my fears and finally get my tattoo done? -- Scared for Ink, Chevy Chase, Maryland

DEAR SCARED FOR INK: Maybe your tattoo is not supposed to happen at this time. That doesn't mean you will never get it, but there's no reason to rush when you are feeling insecure about going through with it. What you may want to do is figure out why you are so apprehensive. Did you grow up in a home that didn't approve of tattoos? Do you work in a field that might shun body ink? Are you worried about whether you will like your tattoo years from now? Are you worried about how sanitary the process will be? Figure out what is at the root of your concern. Only when you are comfortable should you go through with it.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel as though I am developing an unhealthy relationship with food. I have found myself binge-eating throughout the day, when I normally would not do this. I eat two meals a day, lunch around noon and dinner at 6, but I have never had a hunger issue. Now, I find myself searching for cookies or fruit snacks at random hours, and I just can't bring myself to stop. I don't want to go as far as to say I have a binge-eating problem because this is fairly recent, yet I would like to look into this somehow. Should I consult a therapist or my primary care doctor? I don't want to diagnose myself, but I have never felt these urges before, and I want to get myself under control. -- Bingeing, Detroit

DEAR BINGEING: What's key here is that you believe you are bingeing. That means you should check it out. Start by making an appointment with your internist, preferably a doctor who knows you well. Prepare for your appointment by paying attention to what's going on in your life. Are you under extra stress? What, if anything, is bothering you? Write anything that comes to mind in a journal so that you can keep track. Notice when you are eating. That you do not eat breakfast may be an issue, as many health professionals believe that breaking your fast in the morning is key to a healthy metabolism. Take your research about your eating habits to your doctor, and learn some next steps from there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My kids seem to have a disease called sticky-fingeritis! They are all in their 20s, and they find it OK to take appliances from my home. They'll either "borrow" a slow cooker or beg me for a waffle maker or whisk until I give in. I am not sure what my children are up to, but I really don't like it. I have tried to become more assertive, but my kids will either ignore me or sulk until they get what they want. Not all of them have jobs, but I think they should attempt to make their own homes instead of robbing mine! I don't want to ban them from the house, but I need some suggestions on how to sort out this issue. What's mine is not theirs! -- No More Stealing, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NO MORE STEALING: Call for a sit-down meeting with your children. Remind them of how much you love them. Then talk to them about the role of a parent, namely that your job all these years has been to prepare them to be independent. Explain to them that at this stage in their lives, it is important for them to exercise their independence. That includes setting up their own homes with their own things. Tell them that it disturbs you that they come to your home and take your appliances. Make it clear that your belongings are off limits. They can remove items from your house only if you choose to give them something. To soften the blow, you may consider asking them what one item they might want. You can offer to gift them that item for Christmas or their birthday.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)