DEAR HARRIETTE: After years of studying, my daughter got into Yale University. Her mother and I are so proud of her, and we are ecstatic that she has been accepted into a school of this caliber. As my daughter was crying out of happiness of her acceptance, I was wondering how we'd be able to afford this. I don't think my daughter has considered the financial stress an Ivy League school will put on our family. She automatically assumed she is going because she got in. I am a college professor at a state university, and my wife is a historian. We know what our daughter's dream is, and it's really up to us to figure out a way to pay for this or tell her she has to go to a less expensive school. My daughter attending Yale would put my family in debt, but I want her to experience her dream school. Neither my wife nor I attended university in the United States. Should we buckle down and let my daughter go to Yale and leave us with the tuition fees? -- Conflicted Father, Miami

DEAR CONFLICTED FATHER: The biggest mistake you and your wife have made is not managing your daughter's expectations from the start. Nobody thought it through or did the math in advance. Of course your daughter believes she is going to Yale; you never told her she couldn't. It is time to be completely honest with her as you work together to find out if there is any financial aid or scholarship money available to help defray the high cost of this great school. They do have a healthy endowment, so you may be able to secure the financial support you need. Do the research together so that your daughter knows you want her to live out her dream if you can figure out how to pay for it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was at dinner in a nice restaurant when the couple sitting at the table next to us began to snap multiple pictures of themselves and their food for every course. They were tourists and did not speak much English. I would not have a problem with a few photos to commemorate a dinner, but each appetizer, entree and drink came with a photo shoot -- utilizing flash in the generally dimly lit area. It was so distracting; luckily, my date and I turned it into a humorous situation, pretending we were being hounded by paparazzi. Afterward, we discussed if the restaurant should have said something to the couple. I am not one for too much confrontation, so I said it would be our responsibility to ask the couple to stop being so distracting. My date thought a manager or waiter should have asked them to stop after the 30th photograph without being prompted by customers. Do restaurants or patrons have the responsibility to put a stop to poor restaurant etiquette like this? -- Dine and Flash, Boston

DEAR DINE AND FLASH: It is the responsibility of the restaurant to ensure that all of its guests are comfortable. In the age of social media and instant posting, this can be a huge challenge. You should have alerted the maitre d' or waiter and asked them to ask the couple to turn off the flash or stop because the ongoing flashing was disturbing other guests.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I always feel like I am the less liked sister. My sister is a few years older than me, and she is definitely more personable than me. I feel like I have strengths, too, but they tend to get overshadowed when I get tired of speaking. I want people to see me as someone who is as smart, likable and interesting, but I don't know how to carry myself as well as my sister. I also don't want to ask my sister how to be like her at the risk she makes fun of me. How can I become better in social situations so I become as well-liked as my sister? -- Becoming More Likeable, Detroit

DEAR BECOMING MORE LIKEABLE: Accept that you and your sister are two different people, and that there is nothing wrong with you because of that. It is OK not to be as gregarious as your sister. People who pay attention to you will notice your great qualities. You may want to begin spending more time cultivating your own friendships so that you aren't so reliant upon your sister's friend group or even family members for affirmation. Your goal must be to develop your own skills and relationships. By so doing, you will gain confidence. One day, by the way, you may find it easy to ask your sister for advice. You may find that she could use advice from you, too!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I heard that a friend of a friend was belittling my career at a party. Honestly, it didn't bother me much because I know she's been unemployed for a few months now, and I chalked this whole thing up to jealousy. Then I heard that this "friend" did the same thing again from another source at a different party! I don't need someone trying to slander my company or me, but I also don't want to give in to gossip. We are not close, and I am not sure if I should reach out to this woman and tell her to quit. Should I try to defuse this or ignore her? I don't think her words are majorly impacting my business, but I want to be able to defend myself. -- Working Hard, Dallas

DEAR WORKING HARD: Pay close attention to the sources of the information that has gotten back to you. Do you know those people? Might they have any reason to stoke the flames of discontent? If you think they are genuinely just sharing with you what this person said, take it seriously. Call her and invite her to coffee. Check in to see how she's doing and how the job search is going. Translation: Have compassion for her. Then let her know that you are a bit concerned because a number of people have shared some disturbing comments with you that are attributed to her. Ask her directly if she is upset with you or your company. Ask her if she made the comments and why. She may not answer, but chances are that she will either stop or slow down the loose lips after you confront her.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years. Our relationship has lasted through all sorts of obstacles. I really do believe I found the best companion in my husband. Lately, though ... I just feel so bored. I'm bored with our relationship. I've been with him for so long that everything is just so predictable. The way he'll respond, act, cook, clean, even have sex. I can tell you what he's doing every minute of the day. Everything's so repetitive, and I don't know how to express this to him. Especially when he seems OK with the fact that there's no real spark anymore.

There's a new guy at my job. We haven't done anything, but he hits on me from time to time. He makes each pass different from before, and he's always staring at me. He's such a mystery, and as sad as it may be, I'm intrigued. I know I don't have it in me to cheat on my husband, which is why I'm asking for some serious advice. What do I do? Do I leave him? Everything's been the same for so long, how do I get my husband to break the cycle? What do I do if he doesn't want to change? I would really hate to have to leave him, especially with us being such good friends. But something's got to give. I feel like I'm just here because I owe him loyalty. -- Ready for Something New, San Francisco

DEAR READY FOR SOMETHING NEW: Marriages go through many twists and turns, as you already know. Naturally, a sameness can occur in a long-term relationship. One way that you may want to add some spark to your marriage -- rather than look elsewhere or leave him -- is to bring the excitement of what's happening externally to your home. On days when this man gets you hot and bothered, go home and seduce your husband. Try to mix up your routines by inviting him to do other activities that aren't in your norm. If he balks, tell him you are ready for some excitement, and ask him to join you on the adventure.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend has gone off the grid. This has happened a few times, and it will be impossible to reach her for a few days via phone, text or email. Then she will come back as though nothing happened. I always ask her if she is all right, and she ignores my question and pretends as though she hasn't been gone for days. Honestly, I try to pry because I feel concerned when she disappears like this. I never find out any information about what happens. I am not sure if she is depressed, traveling or simply mad at everyone she knows. Do I have the right to push a bit harder? We have been best friends for almost a decade, but I don't know how she'll react. -- Off the Grid, Cincinnati

DEAR OFF THE GRID: If your friend has been doing this for a decade, it is time for you to accept her behavior for what it is. You can tell her, however, that it is hard for you when she disappears because you worry about her safety. Suggest that she give someone her itinerary or an emergency number.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)