DEAR HARRIETTE: I always feel like I am the less liked sister. My sister is a few years older than me, and she is definitely more personable than me. I feel like I have strengths, too, but they tend to get overshadowed when I get tired of speaking. I want people to see me as someone who is as smart, likable and interesting, but I don't know how to carry myself as well as my sister. I also don't want to ask my sister how to be like her at the risk she makes fun of me. How can I become better in social situations so I become as well-liked as my sister? -- Becoming More Likeable, Detroit
DEAR BECOMING MORE LIKEABLE: Accept that you and your sister are two different people, and that there is nothing wrong with you because of that. It is OK not to be as gregarious as your sister. People who pay attention to you will notice your great qualities. You may want to begin spending more time cultivating your own friendships so that you aren't so reliant upon your sister's friend group or even family members for affirmation. Your goal must be to develop your own skills and relationships. By so doing, you will gain confidence. One day, by the way, you may find it easy to ask your sister for advice. You may find that she could use advice from you, too!