DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years. Our relationship has lasted through all sorts of obstacles. I really do believe I found the best companion in my husband. Lately, though ... I just feel so bored. I'm bored with our relationship. I've been with him for so long that everything is just so predictable. The way he'll respond, act, cook, clean, even have sex. I can tell you what he's doing every minute of the day. Everything's so repetitive, and I don't know how to express this to him. Especially when he seems OK with the fact that there's no real spark anymore.

There's a new guy at my job. We haven't done anything, but he hits on me from time to time. He makes each pass different from before, and he's always staring at me. He's such a mystery, and as sad as it may be, I'm intrigued. I know I don't have it in me to cheat on my husband, which is why I'm asking for some serious advice. What do I do? Do I leave him? Everything's been the same for so long, how do I get my husband to break the cycle? What do I do if he doesn't want to change? I would really hate to have to leave him, especially with us being such good friends. But something's got to give. I feel like I'm just here because I owe him loyalty. -- Ready for Something New, San Francisco

DEAR READY FOR SOMETHING NEW: Marriages go through many twists and turns, as you already know. Naturally, a sameness can occur in a long-term relationship. One way that you may want to add some spark to your marriage -- rather than look elsewhere or leave him -- is to bring the excitement of what's happening externally to your home. On days when this man gets you hot and bothered, go home and seduce your husband. Try to mix up your routines by inviting him to do other activities that aren't in your norm. If he balks, tell him you are ready for some excitement, and ask him to join you on the adventure.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend has gone off the grid. This has happened a few times, and it will be impossible to reach her for a few days via phone, text or email. Then she will come back as though nothing happened. I always ask her if she is all right, and she ignores my question and pretends as though she hasn't been gone for days. Honestly, I try to pry because I feel concerned when she disappears like this. I never find out any information about what happens. I am not sure if she is depressed, traveling or simply mad at everyone she knows. Do I have the right to push a bit harder? We have been best friends for almost a decade, but I don't know how she'll react. -- Off the Grid, Cincinnati

DEAR OFF THE GRID: If your friend has been doing this for a decade, it is time for you to accept her behavior for what it is. You can tell her, however, that it is hard for you when she disappears because you worry about her safety. Suggest that she give someone her itinerary or an emergency number.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother became a Christian about 20 years ago, after spending his teens and 20s running around in the streets. He is very overprotective of his daughter, who recently turned 16. Ever since she was a small child, he has forced her to go to church or some sort of church activity at least three times a week. Sleepovers are out of the question, friends are rarely allowed to come over and getting him to allow her to go anywhere with friends is like pulling teeth. Music and television are heavily restricted, and she has to sneak to go the movies. (She admitted this to me during a recent visit.) While how my brother chooses to raise his daughter is his prerogative, and sneaking to see a movie or two is innocent enough, I can't help but see this all ending badly. Our mother was strict, and she ended up driving both of us away from the church. I made a lot of mistakes I could have avoided if I had been properly advised about certain subjects and situations and was not held on to so tightly.

It's not just me, either. I have seen many other young women who grew up in very restrictive environments get out into the real world and make mistakes -- including some that are life-changing. I see my niece heading down the same path. How can I raise these concerns to my brother without overstepping my bounds? -- Breaking the Cycle, Milwaukee

DEAR BREAKING THE CYCLE: Ask your brother if the two of you can have a meeting. During your talk, remind him of your upbringing and of some of the bad choices that you -- and he -- made. Tell him that you are afraid his daughter is headed down the same path if he doesn't lighten up. Remind him that it is out of love and respect that you are bringing this to him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I have been together for years. I love her dearly and can't imagine my life without her. The one thing my wife wanted more than anything was a baby. A couple of months after the wedding, she wound up pregnant. She was so excited. I'm forever grateful that I was able to give her that. I attended every pregnancy class, checkup, sonogram, etc. I shopped with her for the nursery, put up the crib and painted the room. I stayed throughout the entire baby shower. I stayed by her side all 22 hours of labor. So I should be as excited and happy about this baby as she is, right? I mean, I damn near carried it myself. I thought that by attending all these things and doing so much for the baby, I'd get closer to him. He's a beautiful baby boy. I don't feel like I love this child, and I can't figure out why ... I want to, but I just can't. How do I come to love my son? I've accepted him and do everything I can, but it just doesn't seem to be enough. -- How to Love, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR HOW TO LOVE: You may never fall in love with your son the way that mothers often do with their children. Stop worrying about that. Instead, focus on your role, which is to guide and nurture him to become a strong, self-sufficient, sensitive and sensible man. You can also pray for your heart to soften along the way.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a falling-out with a friend from college. We'd known each other for about four years, but we never had any substantial conversations. We recently ran into each other and had an exchange on social media. On New Year's Day, she texted me and asked what I was up to because she wanted to see me later. When I responded and asked her what she was up to, her response was that she was naked in bed. I got uncomfortable -- usually I receive texts like this from someone I've known well for years, or it's someone trying to flirt with me. I asked to call her, and when we spoke (after some protest from her), I made it clear that I just wanted to be friends and explained that I was a little uncomfortable. She responded by saying that she was not trying to flirt with me, and I would know if she was.

After a few more texts, she decided not to come over, even though I told her she was still welcome to come if she wanted. After thinking about it for a few days, I'm realizing I may have made much ado about nothing, and I'm wondering if I should apologize. What do you think? Did I overreact, or was I within my rights to do what I did? -- Doing The Most, Washington, D.C.

DEAR DOING THE MOST: Trust your instincts. This woman was definitely flirting with you. Had you taken the bait, you would have a completely different story to tell. That you did not required her to save face, so to speak, by acting like it was no big deal that she told you she was naked in bed. Believe me, that is not common conversation for people who are friends, let alone people who are not close. You have no reason to apologize. If you are not interested in her intimately, just move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am concerned about my stepfather's health. He turns the ripe old age of 70 this year, and he has had a lifelong struggle with diabetes. Although he has always had some poor habits -- such as smoking a pack a day and eating too many sugary foods -- his habits have gotten worse since my mother's death six months ago. About four months ago, he stopped taking his diabetes medication and remains steadfast in his refusal to change any of his habits. His doctor told me that if this continues, he predicts that my stepfather will die in nine months. I don't want to see him go, especially not this way, but I don't know what to do. I know I could keep a better eye on him if he lived closer, but he refuses to move. How can I get him to start taking his medicine again and cut down on the smoking? Is there any kind of action I can take to make him move? I'm really at a loss over what to do now. -- Family First, Philadelphia

DEAR FAMILY FIRST: Sadly, I have gotten a number of letters on the topic of family members living with diabetes. This disease is far too common in our country and is extremely difficult for many people to control -- even though it is possible to do so. Your stepfather is battling sadness over the loss of your mother, as well as this disease. Tell him you love him and want him to live. You can also plead with him to follow his doctor's orders. Ultimately, though, it is his call.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)