DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother became a Christian about 20 years ago, after spending his teens and 20s running around in the streets. He is very overprotective of his daughter, who recently turned 16. Ever since she was a small child, he has forced her to go to church or some sort of church activity at least three times a week. Sleepovers are out of the question, friends are rarely allowed to come over and getting him to allow her to go anywhere with friends is like pulling teeth. Music and television are heavily restricted, and she has to sneak to go the movies. (She admitted this to me during a recent visit.) While how my brother chooses to raise his daughter is his prerogative, and sneaking to see a movie or two is innocent enough, I can't help but see this all ending badly. Our mother was strict, and she ended up driving both of us away from the church. I made a lot of mistakes I could have avoided if I had been properly advised about certain subjects and situations and was not held on to so tightly.

It's not just me, either. I have seen many other young women who grew up in very restrictive environments get out into the real world and make mistakes -- including some that are life-changing. I see my niece heading down the same path. How can I raise these concerns to my brother without overstepping my bounds? -- Breaking the Cycle, Milwaukee

DEAR BREAKING THE CYCLE: Ask your brother if the two of you can have a meeting. During your talk, remind him of your upbringing and of some of the bad choices that you -- and he -- made. Tell him that you are afraid his daughter is headed down the same path if he doesn't lighten up. Remind him that it is out of love and respect that you are bringing this to him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I have been together for years. I love her dearly and can't imagine my life without her. The one thing my wife wanted more than anything was a baby. A couple of months after the wedding, she wound up pregnant. She was so excited. I'm forever grateful that I was able to give her that. I attended every pregnancy class, checkup, sonogram, etc. I shopped with her for the nursery, put up the crib and painted the room. I stayed throughout the entire baby shower. I stayed by her side all 22 hours of labor. So I should be as excited and happy about this baby as she is, right? I mean, I damn near carried it myself. I thought that by attending all these things and doing so much for the baby, I'd get closer to him. He's a beautiful baby boy. I don't feel like I love this child, and I can't figure out why ... I want to, but I just can't. How do I come to love my son? I've accepted him and do everything I can, but it just doesn't seem to be enough. -- How to Love, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR HOW TO LOVE: You may never fall in love with your son the way that mothers often do with their children. Stop worrying about that. Instead, focus on your role, which is to guide and nurture him to become a strong, self-sufficient, sensitive and sensible man. You can also pray for your heart to soften along the way.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a falling-out with a friend from college. We'd known each other for about four years, but we never had any substantial conversations. We recently ran into each other and had an exchange on social media. On New Year's Day, she texted me and asked what I was up to because she wanted to see me later. When I responded and asked her what she was up to, her response was that she was naked in bed. I got uncomfortable -- usually I receive texts like this from someone I've known well for years, or it's someone trying to flirt with me. I asked to call her, and when we spoke (after some protest from her), I made it clear that I just wanted to be friends and explained that I was a little uncomfortable. She responded by saying that she was not trying to flirt with me, and I would know if she was.

After a few more texts, she decided not to come over, even though I told her she was still welcome to come if she wanted. After thinking about it for a few days, I'm realizing I may have made much ado about nothing, and I'm wondering if I should apologize. What do you think? Did I overreact, or was I within my rights to do what I did? -- Doing The Most, Washington, D.C.

DEAR DOING THE MOST: Trust your instincts. This woman was definitely flirting with you. Had you taken the bait, you would have a completely different story to tell. That you did not required her to save face, so to speak, by acting like it was no big deal that she told you she was naked in bed. Believe me, that is not common conversation for people who are friends, let alone people who are not close. You have no reason to apologize. If you are not interested in her intimately, just move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am concerned about my stepfather's health. He turns the ripe old age of 70 this year, and he has had a lifelong struggle with diabetes. Although he has always had some poor habits -- such as smoking a pack a day and eating too many sugary foods -- his habits have gotten worse since my mother's death six months ago. About four months ago, he stopped taking his diabetes medication and remains steadfast in his refusal to change any of his habits. His doctor told me that if this continues, he predicts that my stepfather will die in nine months. I don't want to see him go, especially not this way, but I don't know what to do. I know I could keep a better eye on him if he lived closer, but he refuses to move. How can I get him to start taking his medicine again and cut down on the smoking? Is there any kind of action I can take to make him move? I'm really at a loss over what to do now. -- Family First, Philadelphia

DEAR FAMILY FIRST: Sadly, I have gotten a number of letters on the topic of family members living with diabetes. This disease is far too common in our country and is extremely difficult for many people to control -- even though it is possible to do so. Your stepfather is battling sadness over the loss of your mother, as well as this disease. Tell him you love him and want him to live. You can also plead with him to follow his doctor's orders. Ultimately, though, it is his call.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Relationships never seemed to work for me. I don't really know why, but at some point or another, the guy and I would drift. After that, it'd be over. I'm tired of this pattern. I want a guy who stays and loves me unconditionally. About two months ago, I met a guy. He's tall, smart, thoughtful, has a great sense of humor, etc. -- all the components of the perfect guy. I'm more than sure that this is my "one." This is the guy who's going to stop the pattern and finally give me the love I've been searching for. He's also the guy who happens to be my sister's boyfriend. I hate that it had to come down to this, but I feel like it's fate. He was put in my sister's life only so that he could meet me, his true love. I don't want to go behind my sister's back, but he's everything I ever wanted. I deserve him! The only tough part is deciding who to tell first. I don't want to ruin my relationship with my sister, but fate is fate. I also need to tell this guy how I feel. I know he feels the same, I see it in his eyes. Do I tell my sister first, or my crush? How do I let her know gently? I don't want to hurt anyone, but my heart can't ignore how it feels. -- Matters of the Heart, Los Angeles

DEAR MATTERS OF THE HEART: Do not act on this crush. No good will come of it. He is not available to be your perfect guy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live with my mom in Arizona. This would be fine, except that I don't care for her new boyfriend. He's very sarcastic, mean and angry. Every little thing my mom does wrong, she either gets cursed out or hit. I try to be the mediator in their arguments, but it just results in her boyfriend telling me to "stay in a child's place" and my mom yelling at me because I've "made him angrier." In two years, I'll finally be out of this house, but I don't want to leave my mom. How do I get her to see that this guy isn't "everything" and that he's no good for her? I want to help my mom, but she's not making this any easier. I want her to come with me so bad. What's worse is that I think she's pregnant. She's showing all the symptoms, and her boyfriend's been nicer lately. I honestly don't think a child should be brought into this, but my mom doesn't hear me. How can I get her to see that she doesn't have to settle for this? There's so much more to life. So many opportunities have gone down the drain due to her running behind this man. I just want her back to how she was before she even met him. -- Saving Mom, Dallas

DEAR SAVING MOM: You can tell your mother how much you love her and that you wish she would join you when you leave. You can also tell her that you want her to be happy, and that she deserves to be happy. You cannot force her to do anything, though.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)