DEAR HARRIETTE: I am getting my breast implants removed for health reasons. I fell on the stairs, and an implant ruptured and spread silicone in parts of my chest. I know I must get my implants removed because the silicone could make me sick. What bothers me the most about this whole procedure is how my husband is acting. He is pretending to mourn the loss of my breasts. Although he claims he is joking, I know he is serious underneath it all. I have had these implants for the entirety of our time together, but this is my health we're talking about. I have told him my breast size does not make me any less of a woman. I am frustrated with him and want to concisely and honestly convey my feelings. Every time I try to think of something, it feels as though I would end up yelling at him. What can I say to start this conversation? He needs to get over the implants; there is more to me. -- No More Fake, San Jose, California

DEAR NO MORE FAKE: To be fair, if your husband has only known your breasts one way, it is understandable that he would "mourn" the upcoming change. You set the bar by getting the implants. So give him time to adjust to the new reality. You may want to point out to him that it could be much worse. Many women literally lose their breasts due to breast cancer. Hopefully, you will not have to face that -- or any other life-threatening illness. Ask him to support you during this scary part of your journey.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am going through a less-than-amicable divorce from my wife. Our children are young (4 and 6 years old). When I FaceTime with them, sometimes the kids will ask me if I want to "talk to mommy." I've been lying and saying I spoke to her earlier on the phone, which seems to make my kids happy. I've been feeling conflicted about lying to my children like this, but they really do not understand what is going on between their mother and me. Is it wrong to lie to a young child like this? I cannot imagine any conversation between my soon-to-be ex and me going smoothly right now. -- Avoiding FaceTime Confrontation, Detroit

DEAR AVOIDING FACETIME CONFRONTATION: You and your wife actually do need to figure out how to communicate with each other in a respectful way -- for the children. You will never be completely separated from each other, because you have children together. Reach out to her and ask to have a conversation about the children. Do your best to talk with each other about the welfare of the children and how you can work together to care for them. This may be difficult at first, but it is essential for their mental well-being.

You can even talk about how to talk to your children about the separation. Though they are young, they are very sensitive. Agree together on your strategy and then implement it. No matter how hard it is to work together, do it.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the first of my longtime friends to be a mother, and I am having difficulty making new friends who understand motherhood while keeping up with the old ones. I've kept the same friends for over a decade, and we've always reminisced on college (or even high school) together; we love partying and being silly. In the past few years, I really feel as though I've grown up. My professional life has gotten to where I want it to be, I got married and I gave birth just a few months ago. Some of my friends are engaged, but for the most part, they claim they are enjoying their youth. I realize that my friends have no idea what I am going through, working and being a first-time parent AND making sure my husband and I carve out some time for ourselves. I am trying to make some new friends who are mothers, but I feel like I'm betraying my old friends. I still want to see my old friends and have a good time, but I am torn because I have no way to talk about my life with people who understand. What should I do? -- Stuck in the Middle, Seattle

DEAR STUCK IN THE MIDDLE: Transitioning into this new station in life is naturally challenging. And you are doing the right thing by looking to connect with young married mothers who will have some sense of your daily life. This is important for your well-being. What's also wise is for you to understand who to talk to about what. Your friends from high school and college are not yet capable of talking to you about motherhood. Don't try to force that conversation with them, but you don't have to dump them, either. You will likely spend less time with them as you nurture your family. Do yourself a favor and stop feeling guilty. Do what you must to thrive, which includes expanding your friend pool.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I don't trust my daughter's ex-husband with my grandchildren. She has more parental rights than he does, but I find myself so nervous whenever my grandbabies spend the weekend with him. He has a history of substance abuse, but my daughter claims she knows her children are safe. Harriette, I've tried prying, but my daughter seems so certain and tells me to stop trying to make her nervous. He is supposedly sober and has been for months, but I just don't like them spending time with him unsupervised. Do you think I can invite myself over to his house and see how he's treating my grandchildren? I would never forgive myself if something happened to them under his watch. -- He's Not a Good Father, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR HE'S NOT A GOOD FATHER: Trust your instincts. If you want to stop by unannounced on one of his weekends, go for it. You should bring food for everyone or a game everyone can play -- something that shows your support. Even as you are suspicious, it is best to be supportive of him because he is their father. As long as he has the chance of interacting with them, you want him to welcome you into his life so that you can watch out for them. If you see evidence of abuse when you visit, be sure to tell your daughter and the police.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle, who always used to be the life of the party and a fairly slim man, has turned into a total recluse and supposedly ballooned in weight after my aunt filed for divorce. I wouldn't know what he looks like because he doesn't want relatives coming over and seeing him. I miss him and worry this weight gain will have more damaging effects than he anticipated, like on his health and self-esteem. I thought about sending him a care package and a card so that he will still know we are thinking about him. My mother told me that sending a package is cold when we can just drive over and see him. I don't want to start a family feud, but I want to make sure my uncle is OK without overstepping his boundaries. Should I go behind my mother's back and send her brother a card? -- Missing Uncle, Roxbury, Mississippi

DEAR MISSING UNCLE: You should follow your heart. If you would like to send your uncle a card saying that you are thinking about him, go for it. Invite him to go out with you. Ask if he needs anything. As far as your mother is concerned, if she wants to go visit him, she can try that. If enough people reach out to your uncle during this stressful period, hopefully somebody will get through.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sisters and I have been thinking of going into business together. We have always talked about how fun it would be to have a family business, and now all of us have reached times in our lives where we are able to make this happen. I hate to be the secret Debbie Downer in all of this excitement, but I am not sure if this business venture will work out. The financial risk isn't horrible, and I don't want to be the only one out of four sisters to bow out of this family business. Also, if it turned out to be a success, I would never hear the end of it! I haven't shared my feelings with my family yet, but I have a 70 percent feeling that this venture isn't going to work. Should I just give some money to maintain family unity? I don't want to ostracize myself from my sisters. -- Sister Biz, Cincinnati

DEAR SISTER BIZ: Think of yourself as being practical. Rather than presenting as Debbie Downer, ask your sisters to have a meeting to discuss the business idea. During this meeting, express your doubts about the viability of the business. Be sure that you have more than your gut instinct to point to your concerns. Do your research so that you can present your concerns as objectively as possible. Ultimately, if your sisters decide to go ahead with the business, you will have to decide what you will do. If you are willing to lose a small amount of money as you show your support, contribute. If you are completely against the whole idea, don't.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)