DEAR HARRIETTE: I took my son to go ice skating the other day, and we ran into another family from his school. While the children skated, the husband and I got to talking. Quickly, the conversation turned to politics. It was an interesting conversation, but it was also really intense. We do not share the same political views, and both of us worked hard to defend our positions. Later, I wondered if that was appropriate. We solved nothing. I guess it was clear that both of us plan to vote, but I'm wondering what one should do in a situation like that. Should I talk politics with other parents at my kid's school? -- Not Mum, Denver

DEAR NOT MUM: I am all for people having as many conversations as they can about the political landscape, provided they are paying attention and are not just mouthing off. The stakes are high in the presidential race. Yes, the field is still broad, and there is no telling who will become our next president. But, given that the person will be the president for all of us, shouldn't we all have a stake in picking him or her? I think Americans tend to be far too apathetic about the political process. So my vote is for all of us to get educated about the issues and talk about what we are learning with one another. Let's become an informed electorate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have what seems to be a stalker on Facebook. This person has written me notes here and there over the years -- always direct messages that are pleasant in tone. I noticed over the holidays that there was a new message from her. I replied simply by saying "Happy New Year." What came next was a request to meet to talk about ideas. I have no desire to meet this person. Pleasant notes via the Internet do not make fast friendships. I don't want to be rude, but I truly have no time or interest in meeting up with her. How do I beg off gracefully? -- Crossing the Line, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: Be honest and upfront. Thank the person for the invitation but say you will not be able to meet. Be mindful not to put a time limit on this, because she can easily ask, "Well, when can you meet?" If you get that response, tactfully draw the line. Thank her again for her kind words, and tell her that you are sorry, but you will not be taking her up on her offer to meet. After that, you can stop communicating with her. If she continues to send you messages and they become disturbing, you can block her so that she can no longer visit your page. I would do that only if she becomes a threat. Your clarity about not meeting with her could be enough for her to back off.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My children are my pride and joy. I would do anything for them, and I'm trying to raise them to be the best they can be. Lately, however, I don't seem to have as good of a grip on things. My oldest child is a very good student, brings home straight A's and does what's expected of her. My youngest child isn't so "perfect." He wants to do as he pleases, he is satisfied with B's and C's and it's a miracle if something is done out of the kindness of his heart. I don't mean to compare my kids, but I just don't see where I went wrong with my second child. I constantly have to stay on top of him just for him to behave and bring home decent grades. He is more interested in singing than school, and he doesn't see the need for an education. I feel as if we aren't the closest, and I'd really like to feel connected to both of my children. How do I get him to see that there's more in life than just music? How do I get him to want to achieve more? -- Lost Mother, Los Angeles

DEAR LOST MOTHER: I think you need to adopt another strategy. Talk to your son about his dreams and aspirations. Learn what inspires him. Music doesn't have to be a dead end. Help him figure out how to make money living his dream. While you may be able to actually do only a little to help him, your interest in his pursuits will be invaluable. Every human being has his or her own interests and abilities. Your job as a parent is to guide his steps.

As hard as it may seem, you must also accept that not every person is a straight-A student, and that's OK. Try hard not to compare your children; instead, seek to nurture their qualities and help them figure out how to use them to support their lives.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend has gotten into serious trouble recently. I am wondering if I should remain friends during her time of adversity. She was caught shoplifting at the mall where I work. She wasn't arrested, but the mall cops told her not to come back. People know that we are friends, including the security guards. And she keeps asking if she can meet me after work to hang out, but I don't want to jeopardize my job. She has already come there a couple of times and waited outside for me, but one of the guards saw her and gave me a look. What should I do? -- De-Friend, Columbia, Maryland

DEAR DE-FRIEND: You don't have to end your friendship, but you do have to draw the line. Tell her that you don't want to have to stop seeing her, but if she continues to break the rules by coming to meet you at work, you will have no choice. She broke the law. You cannot allow her irresponsibility to jeopardize your job.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a military veteran, and I was able to go back to college at the age of 40 because of the GI Bill. I just finished my undergrad program a few weeks ago, and I will start my first month of grad school in February. I have not told my parents that I am starting my graduate program. They are expecting me to find a job and move out of the house shortly thereafter. I am taking advantage of the GI bill, and the military is going to pay for my education as long as I go to school. I do not know why I have not told my parents that I am going back to school to pursue further education. I need some help in telling them because I feel like I am doing something bad. Please help. -- Master Veteran, Elizabeth, New Jersey

DEAR MASTER VETERAN: Given that you expect to continue living with your parents, you absolutely must tell them the truth immediately. Your trepidation may come as a result of wishing that you already had your life together. The good news is that you are taking positive steps to ensure that you will be attractive as an employee in your chosen area because of your pursuit of higher education.

Go to your parents. Tell them you need to talk to them. Reveal that you have been accepted into graduate school and that it starts in February. Apologize for not telling them sooner. Describe the schedule for this program and your timeframe for moving out of their house. Ask for their blessing. If they choose not to support this elongated stay, look for a roommate situation that you can afford.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is a foodie, and we go to some amazing restaurants in New York City on a regular basis. I love our dinner dates, but there is one thing that he does that is a bit strange for me to handle. My husband makes random noises when he eats his dinner. It is quite embarrassing because he does not realize that he making these sounds. How can I make my husband aware of the sound he makes during dinner without embarrassing him? -- Bad Habits, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR BAD HABITS: Your duty as your husband's wife -- in my way of thinking -- is to let him know that he is doing something that seems off. Choose a time when you are at home and without distractions to bring up this sensitive topic. Ask your husband if he would be open to a bit of feedback. With his blessing, tell him about the sounds that he makes when you go out to eat and how uncomfortable it makes you. You might need to demonstrate the sounds so that he understands what you are talking about. Suggest that he tone down the sounds in public. Be prepared, however, to have to live with it. These noises may be his unique way of reflecting his pleasure during the meal. You may have to accept that they come with the territory.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)