DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm going on six months in a relationship with this guy, and I am enjoying my time with him. As an adult, this is my first serious relationship, so I'm still figuring out what I like when it comes to dating. My boyfriend and I get along very well, and our conversations are natural, nothing forced. However, one thing that seems to be forced is something he continues to mention in conversation. Whenever we have conversation about sex or anything remotely close, he hints or "wonders" about adding in another woman to our sex life. I don't know how I feel about this, and I don't know if this is something that people in long-term relationships do. I want to ask him about this and address why has he mentioned this on multiple occasions, but I don't want to approach it the wrong way. What should I do? -- Against a Trois, Cleveland
DEAR AGAINST A TROIS: Many people fantasize about bringing "excitement" into the bedroom. Pornography is filled with stories of intimacy between two women and one man. So it's not unusual that your male friend has thoughts about it.
It is also absolutely unnecessary for you go along with it. You can be firm in telling him no. If he wants to know why not, give him all of the reasons why you don't like the idea. This could be a deal breaker that you should be prepared to accept.
(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to email@example.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)