DEAR HARRIETTE: I do not like to bring social media into relationships because I feel like it is a bit childish. However, my girlfriend has recently done something that bothers me. On a Facebook post, one of her ex-boyfriends commented, "I miss you." On that same post, one of my friends commented, and my girlfriend responded with a kissy face towards him. I tend to not read into social media too much, but my girlfriend is acting like she's single, especially on this post. She ignored the ex-boyfriend's comment, but I was still rubbed the wrong way that she didn't delete it. My girlfriend hasn't said anything about the post, and I haven't brought it up. I am not sure if I am being dramatic or have the right to be suspicious about the whole thing. Why is she being so flirtatious and leaving up messages from exes on her posts when she's dating me? -- Puzzled, Westchester, New York

DEAR PUZZLED: Rather than blowing this out of proportion, speak directly to your girlfriend. Tell her that her ex-boyfriend's post made you uncomfortable and that you don't know why she left it up -- or why she posted a kissy face at her friend. Tell her that it makes you feel like she is flirting with him, which disturbs you.

Ask her if she misses this fellow. Probe to see where she feels you two are in your relationship. This could be "innocent" flirtation with the push of a button, but without much thought. Or it could point to a bigger issue. Talk to her so you can find out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a professor who is driving me up the walls. He does not respond to emails and does not return papers. He makes us chase him down and is incredibly rude when I ask if I can come in during his office hours. He makes promises to me he does not keep, and is generally an unpleasant man. I will be his student until May, so I need to figure out a way to communicate with him. I want to make sure I do not snap at him. How can I ask him to respect my time by handing back my assignments and allowing me to meet with him? -- Lacking Respect, Syracuse, New York

DEAR LACKING RESPECT: If your overtures have not worked at all, you may need to go to your adviser or the head of the department for guidance. When you do so, be mindful that you are asking for help in order to build a relationship with the professor rather than tell on him. With intervention, you may be able to get an audience with him. If so, let him know how much you need his input in order to excel in his class.

While he may be angry at first that you went above his head, hopefully your eagerness to learn and grow in his class will inspire him to give you a little time.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Coming from a rainy city, I have always wondered how umbrella etiquette functions. I always carry a small personal umbrella with me, but I know that is not the case for everyone in Seattle. If I am leaving a building with someone and I see it has started to rain, I offer to share my umbrella. Sometimes this offer is taken up, but sometimes I am not very close with the person I offer to huddle under a tiny umbrella with, so they graciously decline. That leaves me at a crossroads: We are walking together and I am shielded from the rain, but the person I am walking with is not. Do I close my umbrella? It is not my fault the person is unprepared; however, I still feel bad walking with an umbrella when someone else is getting soaked. Do I not have to worry about other's preparedness and use my umbrella? Should I insist on sharing? -- Rainy Days, Seattle

DEAR RAINY DAYS: It is thoughtful for you to offer to share your umbrella, but there is no need to insist. Each of us must be responsible for ourselves. Yes, it may feel awkward, but your offer of generosity is what is thoughtful. As you know, sometimes putting two heads under an umbrella leaves both people wet. So don't push. Remain gracious.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As I was going to an event with my sister, my boyfriend sent me a text saying he wishes I "tried" for him like I do for my sister. I explained that when I am with my older sister, who is extremely fashionable and skilled at makeup, she turns me into her project for the night. I am not as involved with shopping for fashionable clothing, and my feelings were hurt when he said I don't try to look nice for him. He never asked about what sort of effort I put into looking nice for him and just assumed I do not care about my appearance with him. Truth be told, I could try more when it comes to purchasing new clothing. I have two online orders of clothing on the way already; I do want him to feel proud to be seen with me. However, as far as hair and makeup go, I do not feel like he understands how much skill goes into makeup application and that getting ready for a woman is not as easy as he assumes. I was hurt because he decided I don't try instead of broaching the topic with me in person. How can I explain to him that although I do want him to be proud of being seen with me, he shouldn't make such bold and hurtful comments toward me? He doesn't understand why I'm upset. -- Really Trying, Denver

DEAR REALLY TRYING: Next time you are with your boyfriend, just be honest. Tell him that if you had your sister as a personal stylist, you would always look glamorous. But you don't. Acknowledge that you are making an effort to up your style presence, but it is not your forte -- and it definitely is not personal.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was ditched at a holiday party I was dragged to! My friend thought it'd be a great idea to take me to meet all of her friends ... and then she ditched me as soon as she saw all of her other friends. I tried staying in the group, I really did, but my friend did not even introduce me to anyone, and no one spoke to me. I tried making myself approachable by setting down my phone and standing alone by the kitchen counter. This failed as well. I tried introducing myself for a few more minutes, and then realized what a social flop I was. I know my only friend there didn't help me out at all, but I thought I could have been more socially adept. Any tips on how to work a room you don't know anyone in? -- Blooming Social Butterfly, Chicago

DEAR BLOOMING SOCIAL BUTTERFLY: I'm sorry that your friend was so rude. You should speak to her later about how uncomfortable you were. Since she invited you with the presumption of introducing you to her friends, she should have done so. It is OK for you to let her know that you are somewhat socially awkward, and it was very difficult for you to be by yourself at that party.

What you can do in the future is to look around the room at a social function and notice anyone who seems to have a pleasant face or inviting demeanor. Then drum up the courage to walk over to that person and say hello. State your name, and ask the person's name. Say something about yourself that could be a conversation starter. It can be simple: "I'm new in town." "I'm a friend of X's." "I love the holidays. My favorite part is X." Just say something to get a conversation going. When it seems that the moment you started is over, move to another person. You can do it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have attracted an unpleasant holiday guest. We have known this woman, Agnes, for years. Agnes has never been in a relationship, never had children and spent her entire life working. She is in her 50s and does not bring any joy to our holidays. She does not have any contact with her family and does not have anyone to celebrate the holidays with if we don't invite her. After years of inviting her and listening to her lament about regrets and mistakes in her life, we would like to have total happiness in our Christmas celebration. Is there any tactical way to tell Agnes to stop depressing everyone, or should we see how a holiday is without her? -- Holiday Debbie Downer, Boston

DEAR HOLIDAY DEBBIE DOWNER: You do not have to invite Agnes to your celebration if you don't want to do so. Know that. If you feel like you cannot leave her out, by all means tell her that you want to invite her and that you want her to be happy. Have an honest conversation with her about the kinds of things she usually talks about and how it affects people. Ask her to choose to be positive, even if that means listening to others rather than bemoaning her life all night.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)