DEAR HARRIETTE: Though the warmer months are behind us, I still want to work on shedding a couple of pounds so I feel lighter. I do not have a lot of extra time on my hands, but I try to exercise frequently. Do you have any tips and tricks on how to maintain a healthy lifestyle? I try to walk as often as I can, but I may need more help on the nutritional side of weight loss. -- Bikini Body, New Haven, Connecticut

DEAR BIKINI BODY: You are speaking the language of so many of us these days. Busyness often gets in the way of fitness. And even those folks who do exercise a lot may not be doing enough if what they are putting into their bodies is not serving them well. Ideally, you may want to have a consultation with a nutritionist who can review what you ingest and make specific recommendations for what to eliminate and what is healthy to eat as you work to shed pounds. Another option is to join Weight Watchers. Many people have used this affordable program to lose weight and keep it off. In general, eliminating sugar and reducing carbohydrates are always recommended for weight loss and overall good health. Get the support you need to set you on the right track.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have liked a boy I'll call "Jacob" for years now. Recently, his friend "Daniel" developed feelings for me. I really want a chance with Jacob, and I am annoyed that Daniel's feelings may have instilled some sort of "bro code" between the two friends. I do not want Jacob to write me off because of Daniel's crush. Is there anything I can say or do to get Daniel off my back and get Jacob to like me? -- Crushing Crushes, Detroit

DEAR CRUSHING CRUSHES: Does Jacob have any idea that you have feelings for him? Given that your crush has lasted for years without consequence, it is likely that either Jacob does not know, or he is not interested. Either possibility puts you in an awkward situation.

If you want to go for it and make sure Jacob knows of your interest, tell him. Directly and privately confess your interest in him, and tell him you would like to give the two of you a chance to see if there's a potential relationship worth building. If he says something about Daniel, acknowledge that you know Daniel has recently expressed interest in you, but your interest is, and has always been, in him. If you are clear that you do not want to date Daniel regardless of what Jacob decides, say as much.

Be prepared that Jacob may not share your interest. This is important because you have to manage your feelings. Given that you have been friendly for a long time without any shared sparks flying, it could be that this is a one-sided experience. You need to be ready to walk away from him with dignity if he shows no interest.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I have moved in together and are discovering a lot of habits we didn't know the other had. For example, she is not a morning person, and she prefers not to speak before coffee. I tend to be messy and leave my belongings around the house. These aren't unlivable qualities, but my girlfriend told me that if she could tolerate me leaving my stuff around, I should be able to wait until she has her coffee to broach the day's topics with her. I thought that was so rude of her. I just have a bad habit of leaving things out. I try to clean up after myself, but sometimes I forget. Her "habit," on the other hand, is a demand. She can talk if she's awake! Is the right thing to respect her demand or tell her to get over it? -- Bad Habits, Atlanta

DEAR BAD HABITS: I hate to break it to you, but your habit is as bad as your girlfriend's -- and likely far more disruptive. Your girlfriend needing quiet time in the morning, likely not more than an hour, may be difficult for you, but after that period of silence, she is open to talk. Consider this time her meditation space. On the other hand, your mess lingers day in and day out and probably affects the overall appearance of your home at all times. I'm sorry, but my vote is for you to give your girlfriend her space AND clean up your mess. If you need help becoming tidy, you may want to ask her to help you create systems for cleanliness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am not sure why, but God gave me a picky eater. Getting my child to eat anything remotely healthy involves melting cheese on it or smothering it in ketchup. Neither my husband nor I have shown her that this behavior is acceptable. We both eat extremely well, and only have ketchup in the house to make sure our daughter eats. She thinks practically everything is yucky, and I have no clue who told her that yogurt, oatmeal or even fruits are "yucky." She is 4 years old. Are there any tricks to make her stop thinking the best nourishment is "ewie"? -- Picky Toddler, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR PICKY TODDLER: Top of the list is that your daughter needs to understand who is in charge and that the food that you give her is what you expect her to eat. You need to be stern about this, even as you search for healthy options she may like. One way to tantalize her palate may be to choose colorful foods to add to her meal, like carrots or strawberries. Take your daughter apple picking, where she herself picks the apples and places them in a bag. She may be inspired to eat from her harvest. Invite your daughter to help you cook. Let her do small things, like wash vegetables and dry them off. She may grow more interested in the overall cuisine of your home if she gets involved in food preparation.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Happy Thanksgiving! It always brings me joy when we reach this celebratory marker in the year. My earliest memories of Thanksgiving are rich with family, the smells of savory foods cooking on the stove, children and adults flitting about in dress-up clothes and the fancy china and linens adorning the table. Thanksgiving is a special time when people pause and choose to spend time with the people they love.

An added bonus for my family is that my daughter was born during Thanksgiving time. Twelve years ago, I was in the hospital on Thanksgiving Day, enjoying the hospital's version of holiday fare; my daughter had come into the world just two days earlier.

The bounty of blessings that I recall during this time fills my heart. I hope the same is true for you. I believe we need to welcome our awareness of these blessings in order to manage the many other things that come our way.

There is so much going on in our world, and not all of it is filled with light and love. Most of us suffer in some way or another. Whether it is trying to pay the bills or managing a health situation, resolving family conflicts or rising in the working world, we are dealing with our stuff. Most of us have long lists of "stuff" that could be our focus and bring us down. When I read and watch the news and learn of person after person who has harmed another senselessly or taken his or her own life out of despair, I scratch my head and wonder what happened in their lives to drive them to such a dark place. But I know that if we don't actively work to see the world through a hopeful lens, the darkness can take over.

Choosing to claim the good in our lives and to navigate whatever comes our way with grace, clarity of vision and faith is not always easy to do, but amazingly, it makes challenges easier to handle. Choosing to believe that goodness lives within each one of us can help to make even the prickliest situations more manageable.

Better still, choosing to count our blessings at the very moment when we feel bitter or diminished or doubtful is an antidote to falling off the cliff of despair. And this is why I bring this up at Thanksgiving. Literally counting our blessings and recognizing the good -- small and large alike -- that has occurred in our lives can make each day sweeter. When you feel sad, ask: What am I grateful for? Answer yourself: My family. That I woke up to see another day. My home. My job. The clothes on my back. The kindness of a neighbor. The thoughtfulness of a stranger. Keep the list going, and make it as granular as you like. "I am grateful for my neighbor not playing loud music last night," or "I am grateful that I had enough money to pay my rent." Whatever is your truth, claim those things for which you are grateful. And by all means, actively choose to keep the company of people who practice gratitude on a daily basis. Living in gratitude in the spirit of Thanksgiving creates space in your life for you to welcome blessings.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)