DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends has decided that she is going to pursue her dream of becoming a famous singer. She has been pestering us to come to coffee houses and open mic nights for months now. At first it was all right to support her occasionally, but now I am at my wits' end. She's average! She won't be famous! I know I'm not a talent agent, and maybe I'll have to eat my words one day, but I find that likelihood very slim. These emailed links to her YouTube song covers and Facebook performance invitations need to stop. I could add her to my spam filter and maybe unfriend her on Facebook, but I know she would confront me about not supporting her. I support her being happy, but I find she's being selfish by trying to create a fan base out of reluctant friends. Is there any way I can drop being a fan but still be a friend? -- Stop the Songs, Dallas

DEAR STOP THE SONGS: Be a friend by supporting her when you can, without judgment. You don't need to do anything when she sends her links. You don't need to unfriend her. Watch the ones you want to see, but not the ones you don't. Give your friend credit for pursuing her dream. If necessary, tell her that you are not really into the music scene and, therefore, will only attend occasionally, but that you wish her well. Know that even though you do not think your friend has talent, there remains the possibility that she will enjoy some measure of success. Persistence counts for a lot.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a new co-worker, and we hit it off immediately on his first day. We established that we like most of the same teams and share a similar sense of humor. Now that he's been with the company for a few months, he constantly brings up his peanut allergy at lunch. I do not eat peanuts often, but the first time this happened I was incredibly apologetic, thinking it was an emergency, and asked if he was airborne, to which he responded "no." I do not touch him, and I always make sure to wash my hands after eating any food. Now, whether I am eating pad thai or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, he brings up his allergy. I am not sure whether he means this conversationally or is trying to hint that because he can't eat peanuts, I shouldn't either. Am I missing his hint? --Throwing Peanuts, Grand Rapids, Michigan

DEAR THROWING PEANUTS: Chances are, your co-worker's allergy to peanuts does engage when others are eating them. His antennae likely perk up when peanuts in any form are eaten in his company. While he may not have a full-fledged allergic reaction, his sensitivity may be piqued. The only way to know for sure whether this is happening to him, or if there's some other reason for his behavior, is to ask him. Directly ask why he keeps bringing up his allergy and if he is having a reaction of any kind when you eat peanuts. If it is affecting him, you may want to stop eating peanut dishes at the office.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I have spread myself way too thin. I have a regular 9-to-5 job that I love and I give my all. I volunteer at my son's school on a range of projects. Plus, I sing in the choir at church and teach Sunday school whenever the main teacher is out. This grew over time, but now I feel exhausted. And I don't know what to do. I have made myself invaluable everywhere. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but when you show up and help, it makes a difference. How can I step away from some of these duties so that I can claim a little balance? -- Missing My Son, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR MISSING MY SON: Track your days for the next week. Write down everything that you do and how much time it takes. Include "me time" as well as time for your child. Chances are, they are less frequent than your other activities. Identify which duties take the most time -- outside of your job -- and, the hardest, pick at least one to cancel or pause immediately. When you decide, speak to the person in charge of that function. Apologize for being unavailable, but be firm that you have to step away right now. You can do it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I keep reading stories about random children who have been playing sports and who end up with concussions or even death. Another child just randomly died after bumping into a kid on a soccer field. Nobody thought the impact was particularly memorable. What can we do to protect our children and still allow them to explore sports? -- Sports Phobia, Dallas

DEAR SPORTS PHOBIA: It is tragic when children die while participating in sports. Though it is impossible to fully prevent injury or death, there certainly are precautions that players can take, and even that coaches and referees can implement to protect children. Talk to your school and find out what sports are offered as well as the risks associated with each of them. Learn about safety measures. If your child selects a particular sport, ask him or her to talk to the coach about safety. Since you are extremely worried about this, you may not want to be the one explaining the pros and cons to your child. Choose a more neutral party.

But keep in mind that you should ultimately agree with your child on whatever sport he or she chooses. Then stay up to date on how to stay safe while enjoying it.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter is hellbent on becoming a wildlife rehabilitator this spring. This volunteer job entails being able to take in animals from the region that have been abandoned or hurt. These animals range from tiny birds to skunks! I argued that I am against this, while she says the chances of us ever getting a larger animal are impossible because it is dependent on her to accept the animal. She can deny it if she does not feel comfortable. In addition to this volunteer job letting in wild animals, we occasionally have to buy food and supplies for them! I don't want vermin in the house, but my daughter has this passion to help them. I have a pretty strong feeling she won't grow out of this -- she's nearly 17, so I either have to crack down with my husband or allow baby squirrels to be nursed back to health in my living room. Should we let her go through with being a rehabilitator? -- Teenager Loves the Wildlife, Dearborn, Michigan

DEAR TEENAGER LOVES THE WILDLIFE: Your daughter's interest is noble, and I understand both why you don't want to allow the animals in your home and why you want to support her. Can you find a middle ground? Is there a school or community center or even another family with whom she can work so that the animals are housed there? Or do you have a basement? Perhaps you can cordon off an area that's just for her and the small animals so they do not have to inhabit your family space. If you cannot figure it out, it is OK to say no. She may have to wait for her animal husbandry. What you may want to do is help her find a college that promotes animal care so that she has something to look forward to doing very soon.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Any time I go over to my grandmother's house to visit her, she insists on using plastic utensils, plastic plates and plastic bowls. She always washes them afterward, too, so she can reuse them. I would never have an issue with this if I knew she were hard on money and didn't have real utensils and plates, but she does! I jokingly mentioned not being good enough for real plates, and she said that she needs to shine her silverware so that's why we were eating off of the plastic plates. My grandmother is known to have passive-aggressive moments, and this was probably one of them. Maybe she thinks I look too unkempt to eat off of plates, or maybe she has an issue with some decision I made and is taking it out on me this way. What gives? I'm trying to find any reason she could be subjecting me to the plastic plates. -- Plastic Plate Treatment, Baltimore

DEAR PLASTIC PLATE TREATMENT: Don't take your grandmother's behavior personally. She has convinced herself that plastic is a practical alternative to silver. One way you may be able to change her mind is to offer to come over and clean the silver. Sit with her and talk about the silver and let her travel down memory lane with other stories. If you keep cleaning the silver, you may end up eating in style and learning tons about your elder.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)