DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I have spread myself way too thin. I have a regular 9-to-5 job that I love and I give my all. I volunteer at my son's school on a range of projects. Plus, I sing in the choir at church and teach Sunday school whenever the main teacher is out. This grew over time, but now I feel exhausted. And I don't know what to do. I have made myself invaluable everywhere. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but when you show up and help, it makes a difference. How can I step away from some of these duties so that I can claim a little balance? -- Missing My Son, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR MISSING MY SON: Track your days for the next week. Write down everything that you do and how much time it takes. Include "me time" as well as time for your child. Chances are, they are less frequent than your other activities. Identify which duties take the most time -- outside of your job -- and, the hardest, pick at least one to cancel or pause immediately. When you decide, speak to the person in charge of that function. Apologize for being unavailable, but be firm that you have to step away right now. You can do it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I keep reading stories about random children who have been playing sports and who end up with concussions or even death. Another child just randomly died after bumping into a kid on a soccer field. Nobody thought the impact was particularly memorable. What can we do to protect our children and still allow them to explore sports? -- Sports Phobia, Dallas

DEAR SPORTS PHOBIA: It is tragic when children die while participating in sports. Though it is impossible to fully prevent injury or death, there certainly are precautions that players can take, and even that coaches and referees can implement to protect children. Talk to your school and find out what sports are offered as well as the risks associated with each of them. Learn about safety measures. If your child selects a particular sport, ask him or her to talk to the coach about safety. Since you are extremely worried about this, you may not want to be the one explaining the pros and cons to your child. Choose a more neutral party.

But keep in mind that you should ultimately agree with your child on whatever sport he or she chooses. Then stay up to date on how to stay safe while enjoying it.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter is hellbent on becoming a wildlife rehabilitator this spring. This volunteer job entails being able to take in animals from the region that have been abandoned or hurt. These animals range from tiny birds to skunks! I argued that I am against this, while she says the chances of us ever getting a larger animal are impossible because it is dependent on her to accept the animal. She can deny it if she does not feel comfortable. In addition to this volunteer job letting in wild animals, we occasionally have to buy food and supplies for them! I don't want vermin in the house, but my daughter has this passion to help them. I have a pretty strong feeling she won't grow out of this -- she's nearly 17, so I either have to crack down with my husband or allow baby squirrels to be nursed back to health in my living room. Should we let her go through with being a rehabilitator? -- Teenager Loves the Wildlife, Dearborn, Michigan

DEAR TEENAGER LOVES THE WILDLIFE: Your daughter's interest is noble, and I understand both why you don't want to allow the animals in your home and why you want to support her. Can you find a middle ground? Is there a school or community center or even another family with whom she can work so that the animals are housed there? Or do you have a basement? Perhaps you can cordon off an area that's just for her and the small animals so they do not have to inhabit your family space. If you cannot figure it out, it is OK to say no. She may have to wait for her animal husbandry. What you may want to do is help her find a college that promotes animal care so that she has something to look forward to doing very soon.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Any time I go over to my grandmother's house to visit her, she insists on using plastic utensils, plastic plates and plastic bowls. She always washes them afterward, too, so she can reuse them. I would never have an issue with this if I knew she were hard on money and didn't have real utensils and plates, but she does! I jokingly mentioned not being good enough for real plates, and she said that she needs to shine her silverware so that's why we were eating off of the plastic plates. My grandmother is known to have passive-aggressive moments, and this was probably one of them. Maybe she thinks I look too unkempt to eat off of plates, or maybe she has an issue with some decision I made and is taking it out on me this way. What gives? I'm trying to find any reason she could be subjecting me to the plastic plates. -- Plastic Plate Treatment, Baltimore

DEAR PLASTIC PLATE TREATMENT: Don't take your grandmother's behavior personally. She has convinced herself that plastic is a practical alternative to silver. One way you may be able to change her mind is to offer to come over and clean the silver. Sit with her and talk about the silver and let her travel down memory lane with other stories. If you keep cleaning the silver, you may end up eating in style and learning tons about your elder.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: This Thanksgiving will be very different for my family. We will be celebrating with my stepfather's family for the first time. All of his children and their mother's family will be there. Their mother will not be there because she is estranged from the family. I have never been the most outgoing person, and people describe me as shy. Although I have a few weeks to calm my nerves, I am becoming anxious about how to interact with these people I have never met on such an important holiday. I have been looking up conversation starters, but frankly, they seem quite awkward, and "Tell me about you" seems so pushy! How can I navigate the waters with my new "family" without embarrassing myself in the conversation? -- Awkward Millennial, Boston

DEAR AWKWARD MILLENNIAL: It is OK for you to just be yourself. If you are normally quiet, you do not need to transform into a social butterfly. Instead, ease into relationship with this part of your family. Introduce yourself when you arrive and when others come in. Let the more outgoing family members do more of the talking.

You can also talk to your mother in advance. Remind her of how uncomfortable you can become in unfamiliar settings. Ask her to help you during Thanksgiving. Be specific with your mom. Tell her you feel anxious and that you want to figure out how to engage your stepfather's family. Make it clear to her that you need her support. Go to her during your time together if you feel like you need a boost.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family hired a woman to clean our house a few years ago when we began having children. Now, our children are old enough to recognize her and have even bonded a bit with her. My wife and I are all for it, but my children want to begin giving her gifts for holidays they're excited for, like Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. This woman is not their baby sitter, and I am not sure if she wants the crafts that my children want to make and give to her. If anything, I feel like it'd be a burden to her. My wife disagrees and thinks that this would be adorable. I do not want to overload the cleaner with tchotchkes, but I also want my kids to know that they should appreciate her. What's the call on the holiday gifts? -- Kiddy Crafts, Milwaukee

DEAR KIDDY CRAFTS: I go with your wife on this one! Even if this woman has nowhere to put the crafts your children create for her, chances are great that she will be delighted that they think of her fondly even after she has left your employ. It shows that they love her and appreciate the time that they spent together -- she is far more than just a housekeeper. This is fantastic and to be cultivated. You may also want to encourage them to write notes to her and call occasionally if they want to stay connected.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)