DEAR HARRIETTE: My family has chosen to go on a vacation this winter. After a few debates about where to go, we have decided that we are going to Spain. I am incredibly grateful for this opportunity, but I have my reservations. I did not want to go to a Spanish-speaking country because I am the only person in my family who speaks Spanish, and I know I will turn into the Spanish scapegoat of sorts. Any interaction where English is not possible, I will be responsible for handling. My family claims this isn't true, but I see no other way of vacationing in a country where only one person knows the language. I want to enjoy myself in Spain without having to be everyone's translator. I do not want to be selfish, but I do not want to have to devote my time to making sure everyone understands one another. How do I keep the balance on this vacation? -- Speaking Spanish, Hartford, Connecticut

DEAR SPEAKING SPANISH: Some people would look at this opportunity and your particular skills as a blessing. How wonderful that one member of the traveling party can speak the language! I suggest that you change your perspective. Sure, you will be asked questions, but the great news is that often you may be able to answer them with ease. Sadly, most Americans are not bilingual. You are. Don't lock away your gift. Share it.

Be proactive as well. Make it easier on yourself by encouraging your family members to get translation books now to learn the basic courtesies and questions. Tell them that you will not ruin their trip by translating everything. Encourage them to study so that they will be ready for the trip. Finally, you can request a translator through your hotel so that, for a small fee, you will have support that you may need yourself in navigating the country.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A superior has reprimanded me twice for being too shy at my job. I felt as though the company knew what I was like prior to hiring me, but now I guess I do not seem like the best fit. Personally, I hate when salespeople overwhelm me, so I try to be respectful of other people's space. This has been interpreted as me not caring, even though I am always helpful whenever someone seems to need assistance. The first time I got confronted, I changed a bit to become more outgoing and got more sales. I got confronted again and really wanted to defend myself. I sell as much as my co-workers, even though I am not as pushy as they are. In fact, I feel like people tend to gravitate toward me because of how I take a backseat as they choose what to try on or purchase. What should I say if I get confronted again? -- Shy But Selling, Detroit

DEAR SHY BUT SELLING: Ask for a meeting with your superior. Admit that you can sometimes be shy, but you have figured out a strategy that seems to garner sales. Present your sales figures to your boss, and note that they are commensurate with your co-workers'. Explain your strategy, but also offer to work on being more assertive. Let your sales figures be your strength.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I needed a ride to the airport and did not want to pay the $60 cab fee. So I went on social media and asked those in my area if anyone was willing to drive me for less. I got an anonymous response, and I asked the sender for his Facebook account to see if I was being scammed. This person looked reliable, and I ended up getting a safe and enjoyable ride to the airport for $5. Upon hearing about this, my friends were amazed that I could be so "stupid" and "irresponsible" and get a ride from a stranger. I feel like I did my research and was prepared to walk away if I got to the arranged meeting spot and my driver wasn't who he promised to be.

I think living adventurously is the key to life, and my friends should be more open to different experiences. When asked to explain myself, I said I did not want to pay the high cab rate and wanted to see if the Internet would help me out. I think my friends are being boring and sheltered, and I definitely plan on doing this again. Should I not tell them before I go? I told them before I went previously, just in case, but I want to avoid their judgment. -- Bargain on the Road, Queens, New York

DEAR BARGAIN ON THE ROAD: Sorry, but I skew on the side of your friends. Usually, a deal as low as that does not turn out to be legitimate. Most important is your safety, and that includes that the driver is insured. This is why even when the black cars from private car services offer to pick you up on the street, the police do not condone it. You should ride in a car with an insured driver so that, God forbid, if anything happens, you are covered.

I get the notion of adventure, and have had my fair share of it in my life. I'm not a fan of blind rides. I would say, though, if you continue to do it, do not hide it from your friends. Somebody should know your whereabouts -- especially during risky behavior. Ask them to keep their opinions to themselves.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was at a party when I looked over and saw a celebrity nearly rubbing shoulders with me! This was my first time being near a celebrity in a casual setting, and I had no idea what to do. I totally froze and embarrassed myself. I recently relocated to Los Angeles and never thought I'd be in the same rooms as Hollywood stars. I couldn't even introduce myself, even though this person was basically right next to me. I totally made a fumble. How do I present myself properly to celebrities or high-profile people without freezing and making a fool of myself? I've never even gotten my photo taken, let alone been globally known! -- Stargazing, Los Angeles

DEAR STARGAZING: Start by recognizing that celebrities are people, too. Saying a simple hello and introducing yourself is perfect. If you are a fan, you could say, "I like your work," or be more specific about a particular project. But connecting person-to-person is best. An effective icebreaker is always the reason for the event.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been nagging my oldest son to focus on finding a wife instead of working so hard. He is almost 29! After a few persistent months of nudging on my end, he finally brought home a girl. I would normally be ready to pepper her with questions, but he brought his busty ex-girlfriend, much to everyone's surprise! At first I thought this was a joke to get back at me for how hard I've been pushing him, but my son says he thought of his ex and wanted to give her a call. When I first met this girl, years ago, she was visibly not wearing a bra, and she needed one! Not much has changed about her in those years. The way she presents herself is tacky with her makeup and clothing. She makes sure her chest gets everyone's attention. I hope my son just tosses her, but I have to be prepared to talk to her about presenting herself in case he keeps her around. I can't just give her an etiquette lesson, but she needs to class it up. How do I take her tacky and make it classy? -- The Best for My Son, Cincinnati

DEAR THE BEST FOR MY SON: Be careful what you wish for, Mom! While you meant the best for your son, pushing him toward marriage before he was ready was not wise. Your son wants to please you while he also needs to establish his life independent of you. Now, virtually anything you say may be misconstrued because of your pushiness.

Rather than pushing him into her arms by complaining, be cordial to her when she comes over. If you host an event where she may show up dressed inappropriately, speak to her privately and let her know the expected dress code. Treat her with respect. When you need to educate her, do so kindly and without judgment. In this way, however she ultimately fits into your son's life, you will be able to manage. If you can find a space to talk with your son about marriage, change the subject to what qualities to look for in a life partner. Steer him to thinking long-term about his desires. This may help him decide about her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an woman in my early 60s. When I was younger, I had my breasts done. Few of my friends know about the work I've had done. Now the issue I'm having is with some unwanted attention toward my chest! Other women close in age feel comfortable coming up to me and complimenting me on my breasts! I find this invasive, and I rarely walk around flaunting my cleavage. I've gotten compliments on how lifted I seem. While this all sounds well-meaning, I almost always get asked the question of how I look the way I do. I do not want people knowing I've had work done and judging me or spreading gossip. What do I say? -- Hush-Hush, Detroit

DEAR HUSH-HUSH: You don't have to answer every question you've been asked. You can simply thank people for the compliments and move on. You could also be honest. Your breast lift years ago is still serving you. Some of your friends may appreciate the heads-up. Consider sharing your secret as an option for them.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)