DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student who made an etiquette mistake with my professor: I said "hi" to him when greeting him. He reprimanded me in front of a class of 50 people, saying I am to always say "hello" to the professor. He told me he did not get a doctorate for me to address him using "hi" as a greeting. I found this to be so rude, especially as he was lecturing me on how to be polite while embarrassing me in front of my classmates. After class, other students came up to me and called my professor names to make me feel better.

I'm not sure how to continue to be an active student in this class when the professor thinks he is above his students. Is it time to just be a face in the crowd? I was trying to be an active participant until this incident. -- Sad Student, New Orleans

DEAR SAD STUDENT: Drum up the courage to schedule a private meeting with your professor. During the meeting, apologize for speaking to him in a too-familiar manner. Then let him know that the way that he reprimanded you in front of the class was terribly embarrassing; plus, it backfired because many students felt compelled to speak derogatorily about him in defense of you. Tell him how hard it is for you to come to talk about this, but the reason you did was that you really want to be active in your class. Right now you feel uncomfortable about speaking up ever again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been getting daily nosebleeds for months now. I finally went to the doctor and was told that I need to get surgery to correct my deviated septum, which is causing the bleeding. Whenever my co-workers or family ask me about my upcoming surgery, they act like I am trying to cover up the fact that I am getting a nose job! My nose will not change in appearance at all after this surgery, and I am getting tired of people thinking I am using a fake medical excuse to get work done. I do not even want to interact with people who think I'm being sly about getting plastic surgery. I am fixing a medical problem and have just resorted to snapping at people. There are medical reasons for getting surgery on your nose! -- The Nose Knows, Los Angeles

DEAR THE NOSE KNOWS: You live in a town where cosmetic surgery is commonplace, so your friends and family may actually think you are being unnecessarily shy about "concealing" your plan for such surgery. Even so, you should not have to constantly remind anyone of your medical challenge. Instead, stop talking about it. Confide in one person who you think believes you and is responsible. Ask that person to be in touch during the period of your surgery and its aftermath. If you need support, make him or her your go-to person and leave the others out of it.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am very proud of my nails. I take good care of them, and they have grown to be long and strong. I also make sure to cut and file them if they are getting too long and crossing over into unkempt territory. I enjoy getting complimented on my nails, but some people have decided it's their duty to try to rip off my nails as though they are fake. It seems like a backhanded compliment to me, but I do not like hearing, "they're so long they can't be real!" as someone tries to bend my nails. I have awkwardly laughed this comment off and withdrawn my hand, but I find it incredibly strange. Both men and women have done this, and I try to explain that these are my real nails and I take good care of them, but the comments don't stop. Should I peg this as jealousy or assume this is a hint to make my nails shorter? -- Not Nailing It, Syracuse, New York

DEAR NOT NAILING IT: Whether you have artificial nails or natural nails, it is incredibly rude for someone to try to pull your nail off. Given how much you tend to your nails, I'm wondering if you ever brag about the health of your nails. Whether you do so consciously or not, if you do, you may want to tone that down. Drawing attention to your beautifully tended nails may be backfiring on you right now.

That said, the people who are grabbing at you do not need an explanation. If somebody reaches out to pull at your nails, immediately and sharply ask them not to touch them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It's the time of year when people come in sick to work. I take many measures to not get sick, but some ill co-workers do not seem to get the hint. I keep hand sanitizer at my desk, along with disinfecting wipes and vitamins. I eat as many fruits and vegetables as possible, drink water and make sure I sleep enough each night. There are some sick people who do not seem to understand that my disinfectants and vitamins are meant to keep them away, not invite them to my desk to use them! People come by for hand sanitizer or to get a wipe to clean their keyboards, but they have the germs I am trying to keep away! I don't want to seem rude and deny anyone, but I do not want to get sick. How do I keep the sicklings away from my desk? -- No Days Off, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NO DAYS OFF: Speak to your human resources department and suggest that they provide some of the cleaning products that you currently have at your desk for the whole company. Argue that you are attempting to keep yourself well as sick people continue to come to work, but that you do not want to be the supplier of cleaning supplies to the office. You may also want to put your cleaning items under lock and key. When people come to borrow that proverbial cup of sugar -- in this case, hand sanitizer -- suggest that they get their own.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was checking out at the supermarket with my 3-year-old daughter when she suddenly had a breakdown over candy I would not buy her. My wife was not with me, and my daughter was having the worst tantrum I'd ever seen. I was so embarrassed and did not know how to make her stop kicking, screaming and crying. Passersby were judging me, and I just had to let her scream on the floor while I paid and packed up the cart. I assured everyone staring that we do not deprive her and that this is not a frequent occurrence, but I was still extremely mortified. I contemplated buying the candy for her at one point but knew my wife wouldn't be too happy with a sugared-up and cranky 3-year-old. It was impossible to reason with my daughter, but I was so embarrassed after this whole debacle. How do I get the tantrums under control? I do not want to have to give in to every demand of my daughter. -- Supermarket Screams, Poughkeepsie, New York

DEAR SUPERMARKET SCREAMS: There are many schools of thought on this one. Personally, I think you should start with preventive measures. Make sure your child is not hungry or otherwise uncomfortable before you head out for any activity. Talk to her about expectations for where you are headed. Even at her age, she understands boundaries and rules. Explain what your outing will include and how you expect her to behave. If she starts to tantrum, tell her calmly that you will not comply with her demands (if they are unreasonable), and remain firm. Do not give in to tantrum behavior. If you need to take your child out of a store or other public space during the tantrum, ask the proprietor to hold your items until you return.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother has adopted a dog recently. I love animals, especially dogs, but am a little apprehensive to meet this dog based on how my mother is raising it. The dog is 10 pounds, and my mother insists on dressing it in sweaters and all of the cutest accessories. She will not let the dog play with any dogs bigger than it is (so there are slim pickings for socialization!), and generally treats it like a toddler. I love dogs, and I believe they should have opportunities to play fetch, get dirty and meet all sorts of other people and dogs. I told my mother that the worst kinds of dogs are smaller aggressive ones, and she got offended. I do not want to tell her how to care for her dog, but I wouldn't be surprised if a yapping (and nipping!) dog turned away some people from visiting her. I don't think she's an unfit owner. I would just like her to allow the dog to live a dog's life. How do I get my mother to stop treating this dog like a child? -- No Toddlers Here, Boston

DEAR NO TODDLERS HERE: A lot of dog owners treat their pets like miniature human dolls. Is this optimal behavior? That's a tough one. What I can tell you is that your desire to encourage your mother to treat her dog like a dog is reasonable. Start buying her books about dog training. Pay for dog training lessons where your mother learns about smart ways to socialize her dog. Otherwise, back off. She has to make her own choices.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)