DEAR HARRIETTE: I am very proud of my nails. I take good care of them, and they have grown to be long and strong. I also make sure to cut and file them if they are getting too long and crossing over into unkempt territory. I enjoy getting complimented on my nails, but some people have decided it's their duty to try to rip off my nails as though they are fake. It seems like a backhanded compliment to me, but I do not like hearing, "they're so long they can't be real!" as someone tries to bend my nails. I have awkwardly laughed this comment off and withdrawn my hand, but I find it incredibly strange. Both men and women have done this, and I try to explain that these are my real nails and I take good care of them, but the comments don't stop. Should I peg this as jealousy or assume this is a hint to make my nails shorter? -- Not Nailing It, Syracuse, New York

DEAR NOT NAILING IT: Whether you have artificial nails or natural nails, it is incredibly rude for someone to try to pull your nail off. Given how much you tend to your nails, I'm wondering if you ever brag about the health of your nails. Whether you do so consciously or not, if you do, you may want to tone that down. Drawing attention to your beautifully tended nails may be backfiring on you right now.

That said, the people who are grabbing at you do not need an explanation. If somebody reaches out to pull at your nails, immediately and sharply ask them not to touch them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It's the time of year when people come in sick to work. I take many measures to not get sick, but some ill co-workers do not seem to get the hint. I keep hand sanitizer at my desk, along with disinfecting wipes and vitamins. I eat as many fruits and vegetables as possible, drink water and make sure I sleep enough each night. There are some sick people who do not seem to understand that my disinfectants and vitamins are meant to keep them away, not invite them to my desk to use them! People come by for hand sanitizer or to get a wipe to clean their keyboards, but they have the germs I am trying to keep away! I don't want to seem rude and deny anyone, but I do not want to get sick. How do I keep the sicklings away from my desk? -- No Days Off, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NO DAYS OFF: Speak to your human resources department and suggest that they provide some of the cleaning products that you currently have at your desk for the whole company. Argue that you are attempting to keep yourself well as sick people continue to come to work, but that you do not want to be the supplier of cleaning supplies to the office. You may also want to put your cleaning items under lock and key. When people come to borrow that proverbial cup of sugar -- in this case, hand sanitizer -- suggest that they get their own.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was checking out at the supermarket with my 3-year-old daughter when she suddenly had a breakdown over candy I would not buy her. My wife was not with me, and my daughter was having the worst tantrum I'd ever seen. I was so embarrassed and did not know how to make her stop kicking, screaming and crying. Passersby were judging me, and I just had to let her scream on the floor while I paid and packed up the cart. I assured everyone staring that we do not deprive her and that this is not a frequent occurrence, but I was still extremely mortified. I contemplated buying the candy for her at one point but knew my wife wouldn't be too happy with a sugared-up and cranky 3-year-old. It was impossible to reason with my daughter, but I was so embarrassed after this whole debacle. How do I get the tantrums under control? I do not want to have to give in to every demand of my daughter. -- Supermarket Screams, Poughkeepsie, New York

DEAR SUPERMARKET SCREAMS: There are many schools of thought on this one. Personally, I think you should start with preventive measures. Make sure your child is not hungry or otherwise uncomfortable before you head out for any activity. Talk to her about expectations for where you are headed. Even at her age, she understands boundaries and rules. Explain what your outing will include and how you expect her to behave. If she starts to tantrum, tell her calmly that you will not comply with her demands (if they are unreasonable), and remain firm. Do not give in to tantrum behavior. If you need to take your child out of a store or other public space during the tantrum, ask the proprietor to hold your items until you return.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother has adopted a dog recently. I love animals, especially dogs, but am a little apprehensive to meet this dog based on how my mother is raising it. The dog is 10 pounds, and my mother insists on dressing it in sweaters and all of the cutest accessories. She will not let the dog play with any dogs bigger than it is (so there are slim pickings for socialization!), and generally treats it like a toddler. I love dogs, and I believe they should have opportunities to play fetch, get dirty and meet all sorts of other people and dogs. I told my mother that the worst kinds of dogs are smaller aggressive ones, and she got offended. I do not want to tell her how to care for her dog, but I wouldn't be surprised if a yapping (and nipping!) dog turned away some people from visiting her. I don't think she's an unfit owner. I would just like her to allow the dog to live a dog's life. How do I get my mother to stop treating this dog like a child? -- No Toddlers Here, Boston

DEAR NO TODDLERS HERE: A lot of dog owners treat their pets like miniature human dolls. Is this optimal behavior? That's a tough one. What I can tell you is that your desire to encourage your mother to treat her dog like a dog is reasonable. Start buying her books about dog training. Pay for dog training lessons where your mother learns about smart ways to socialize her dog. Otherwise, back off. She has to make her own choices.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I attend a night school in order to advance my education while I work. I have recently fallen off my schedule and have been allowing myself to skip classes. I continue to do the work on time, but I have been letting myself slip when it comes to actually attending the classes. I am not sure if I am the only one who skips or what the attendance policy is at my school, but I am afraid that I will come off as lazy if I ask my professor how many classes I need to attend to pass. I am trying to motivate myself to attend more classes, but I need to find out if I am in jeopardy of not passing. How do I ask if I'm still on track without seeming like a slacker? -- Low Attendance, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR LOW ATTENDANCE: Let's start with you asking yourself a question: Why are you slacking off in your attendance? Are you tired? Do you need to be at work during class time? You are the one who decided to further your education. Cutting class is not a wise decision. It doesn't represent the behavior of a serious student who is making every moment count. Rather than attending the minimum number of classes, strive for 100 percent attendance for the rest of the semester. You should definitely ask your professor where you stand and what you can do to get the most out of this class. But your question should not be about how you can pass with the least amount of work.

DEAR HARRIETTE: You are WAY off-base in your advice about the shoe-collecting boyfriend to "Too Many Sneakers." The girlfriend said they live in an apartment. That is the first problem. It is difficult to collect anything and live in an apartment. People who collect tennis shoes like this are called "sneaker heads." I would guess with this many shoes, he probably is collecting higher-end shoes. These can range from $100 up to thousands of dollars. A better suggestion than yours would be to have them stay in the boxes, which can be stacked and presented more neatly.

A hoarder? I don't think so. -- Another Shoe Collector, Maple, Utah

DEAR ANOTHER SHOE COLLECTOR: Thank you for your point of clarification. While I know that there are plenty of people who collect high-end sneakers and often fill their homes to the brim with them, this trend does not make it fashionable enough to not be a form of hoarding. Filling your home to the brim with stuff, even expensive, trendy stuff, to the point that you cannot walk around is not a healthy lifestyle option. I recognize that you acknowledged an obvious point that it is hard to collect anything in an apartment. If this man had a room that he could convert into a specially designed shoe closet, the conversation might be different. Perhaps a more viable option for him might be to rent a storage unit and place the boxes neatly in there. But a couple sharing a space should both have a say as to what stays or goes in that home. In a culture that reveres those with a great "shoe game," we still have to recognize that too much of something crowding you out is not healthy.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)