DEAR HARRIETTE: I attend a night school in order to advance my education while I work. I have recently fallen off my schedule and have been allowing myself to skip classes. I continue to do the work on time, but I have been letting myself slip when it comes to actually attending the classes. I am not sure if I am the only one who skips or what the attendance policy is at my school, but I am afraid that I will come off as lazy if I ask my professor how many classes I need to attend to pass. I am trying to motivate myself to attend more classes, but I need to find out if I am in jeopardy of not passing. How do I ask if I'm still on track without seeming like a slacker? -- Low Attendance, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR LOW ATTENDANCE: Let's start with you asking yourself a question: Why are you slacking off in your attendance? Are you tired? Do you need to be at work during class time? You are the one who decided to further your education. Cutting class is not a wise decision. It doesn't represent the behavior of a serious student who is making every moment count. Rather than attending the minimum number of classes, strive for 100 percent attendance for the rest of the semester. You should definitely ask your professor where you stand and what you can do to get the most out of this class. But your question should not be about how you can pass with the least amount of work.

DEAR HARRIETTE: You are WAY off-base in your advice about the shoe-collecting boyfriend to "Too Many Sneakers." The girlfriend said they live in an apartment. That is the first problem. It is difficult to collect anything and live in an apartment. People who collect tennis shoes like this are called "sneaker heads." I would guess with this many shoes, he probably is collecting higher-end shoes. These can range from $100 up to thousands of dollars. A better suggestion than yours would be to have them stay in the boxes, which can be stacked and presented more neatly.

A hoarder? I don't think so. -- Another Shoe Collector, Maple, Utah

DEAR ANOTHER SHOE COLLECTOR: Thank you for your point of clarification. While I know that there are plenty of people who collect high-end sneakers and often fill their homes to the brim with them, this trend does not make it fashionable enough to not be a form of hoarding. Filling your home to the brim with stuff, even expensive, trendy stuff, to the point that you cannot walk around is not a healthy lifestyle option. I recognize that you acknowledged an obvious point that it is hard to collect anything in an apartment. If this man had a room that he could convert into a specially designed shoe closet, the conversation might be different. Perhaps a more viable option for him might be to rent a storage unit and place the boxes neatly in there. But a couple sharing a space should both have a say as to what stays or goes in that home. In a culture that reveres those with a great "shoe game," we still have to recognize that too much of something crowding you out is not healthy.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was researching my apartment building on the Internet and found out that seven years ago, two people died there due to heroin overdose. I am incredibly superstitious and am wondering how I can find out which apartment these people were in when they passed. Do landlords have to tell tenants if someone expired in their apartments in the past? I am incredibly curious and need to know if I have to sage my apartment. Any advice? -- Maybe Ghostly, Atlanta

DEAR MAYBE GHOSTLY: You will need to check with your local authorities to determine if your landlord legally has to share with you about a death in your building. I'm not sure about that. I do believe that it makes a difference who lived in your space before you. Rather than obsessing about where exactly the people overdosed, I recommend that you do a spiritual cleansing and offer prayers for those souls to be at rest, and for you to have a healthy, positive experience where you live. As you know, focusing on superstitions incessantly can leave you sleepless and fraught with anxiety. Do yourself a favor and resist going down that road. Choose healing, uplifting activities that create space for you to thrive in your home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I gave my friend a ride from a party when she was drunk. I knew she needed to go home, so I picked her up, and on the way to her house she threw up in my car. I cleaned up the vomit and went home as she fell asleep. The next day, she acted like nothing happened! I thought that was very rude and jokingly brought it up with her to give her the opportunity to say something about her actions, and she waved it off. I'd like to receive an apology, but she doesn't seem to want to give it. Is she embarrassed? Does she not understand that is rude? -- Party Queen Troubles, Westchester, New York

DEAR PARTY QUEEN TROUBLES: Forget the apology. Your friend was drunk, and there's a good chance she doesn't remember what happened that night. Literally, it could be a blank for her. If she does remember, she could be too embarrassed to talk about it. Any conversation on the topic that you might consider having should be directed to supporting her in making healthier choices. You might tell her that you were worried about her because of how excessively she drank. You might ask her if she remembers throwing up in your car and being completely trashed. You could suggest that she be careful so that she doesn't damage her body or put herself in harm's way in the future.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I grow out my hair in order to cut it and donate it to charity. Now my hair is at my waist, and my family and co-workers feel comfortable telling me to cut it. I may be too sensitive, but I find all forms of telling someone to change their appearance offensive. It's like telling someone to lose weight because you think they would look better skinny! I usually just brush off these comments and say I will donate it when it's long enough, but I'm getting very angry with people telling me to change my appearance. I'm helping a charity by donating my hair, and my family especially can't seem to back off. Do they not understand that I do not care about their opinions of my hair? -- My Choice, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR MY CHOICE: Sometimes people get jealous about super-long hair, as for many it is impossible to grow it that long. Jealousy can look like the behavior you are experiencing. If you are keeping your hair clean, neat and appropriate for your work environment, try to ignore the naysayers. On the other hand, you could remind them all that this is your annual charitable effort. Ask them to support you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family allowed my girlfriend to borrow our treadmill about a year ago. We did not really have space for it at the time and I had a gym membership, so no one was using it. Now that my girlfriend and I are moved out of our parents' homes, my mom asked for the treadmill back. My girlfriend freaked out. She said my mother was rude and she will not come to my house anymore or attend any meals with my mother, and she never liked my mother anyway. All of this was said to me and not my mother. My girlfriend had assumed that the treadmill was a gift, but my mother assumed it was a loan. I do not want to be in the middle of this at all. I never thought this exercise equipment would cause such a rift. I am very offended by what my girlfriend said about my mother, and she never apologized. Her excuse was that I sometimes say negative things about my mother as well. A few days have passed, and the treadmill was reluctantly returned, but my girlfriend never apologized. My girlfriend probably thinks I will sweep this under the rug, but that will not happen. I need to get her to admit that she was rude and apologize. How can I do that? I would never say anything negative about her family. -- Families Feud, Seattle

DEAR FAMILIES FEUD: It could be that your girlfriend misunderstood the loan as a gift. Either way, she was reactionary and rude when she learned that your mother wanted the equipment back. Rather than waiting for her apology, you should bring up the topic again and talk through it. Let her know that you believe her behavior was rude and inappropriate and you are offended that she would speak so harshly about your mother. Ask her to apologize. More, agree that neither of you will speak badly about each other's families in the future.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)