DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a serious TV buff, but I am not into vampires and horror and stuff like that. For the past few weeks, that seems to be all that is on TV. I'm sick of it. I know that Halloween is a big celebration and all, but don't the networks know that not everybody is into this gory content? What am I supposed to do while all this stuff is messing up my vibe? -- Against the Gore, Salt Lake City

DEAR AGAINST THE GORE: Now's the time for you to turn off the TV and do something else. Honestly, as much as what my father calls "the idiot box" can be engaging, distracting and a huge time consumer, it also should not be your primary source of entertainment. Get up, go out and explore your town. Or stay home and read a book. Seriously, you should mix up your entertainment so that you aren't reliant upon TV.

Finally, you can also write to your favorite TV networks and complain about the narrow programming during this season and request the genres that you prefer. You never know what will happen!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I'm having my version of a midlife crisis. I lost my job a few months ago, and I haven't figured out what to do next. I'm in my early 50s, and I look good for my age. I have been very successful in my career, but everything is changing now. I feel like such a loser. My job was filled by a recent college grad who, I'm sure, is good and who costs less. I have no idea how to compete with young people, nor do I want to. I just want to be able to take care of myself and earn a decent living. What should I do? -- Over the Hill and Hopeless, Dallas

DEAR OVER THE HILL AND HOPELESS: Don't give up yet, even though the future is uncertain. Search for a talent scout in your field who may be able to help you identify companies that are looking for people with your level of expertise and experience. With professional support, you may be able to find a job. It may also be wise to evaluate all of your skills to see if there is another career path that may be more viable. This can seem scary, but change is what life is all about. What's key is for you to find support so that you don't have to do it alone. Another source of guidance may be AARP's Life Reimagined program. It helps people figure out how they want to plan out their future. This program has been extremely effective for many people who are searching for what they are going to do next. It may help you, too.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a GBF (gay best friend). We are just like any other friends, except that I am a straight woman, and he is a gay male. My GBF and I will hug or play fight over an item we both want -- like nail polish or a cookie -- the same way I do with many of my female friends. Some of my male friends have pointed out that I have a double standard for my GBF. I do not like to have men other than my boyfriend touch me, but I allow my GBF to. My rationale is that a gay male would never be attracted to me, so I allow him to touch me while keeping a respectful distance from my straight male friends. I don't understand why they would complain about a "double standard" reserved for one person in my life. I don't want to seem like someone who has too many rules around her life, but I never thought my refusal to get too close to other men would become something about which I need to defend myself! What should my response be if I get accused of having double standards again? -- Boundaries, Pittsburgh

DEAR BOUNDARIES: You have to follow your instinct on the level of intimacy you find comfortable with different friends. As long as you are respectful with all of them, you should feel at ease. Your male friends who are complaining are probably jealous of the closeness you share with your friend. That's their problem, but since these people are your friends, you may want to limit your displays of affection when you are all together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This summer, I went camping with a group of friends. On the way back home, the driver hit a raccoon. Everyone in the car acknowledged the road kill, and we even spoke about how some countries are working to prevent animal deaths on the highway. I thought this would be the end of ever thinking about this incident, but the driver learned that I am a vegetarian after the trip and has been apologizing about the raccoon ever since. The past three social events we've had together, the driver mentions that the road kill was an accident. The first time I said I was not offended and hadn't even thought about the incident. The second time, I admittedly snapped. I said I clearly do not care, and the driver should get over the road kill as well. This led the driver to believe I care much more than I do, and the apologizing happened again at the third party. Is this driver obsessed with the raccoon or just trying to find a way to talk to me? I am not offended and simply want to stop talking about this. -- Raccoon Rambling, Syracuse, New York

DEAR RACCOON RAMBLING: The best way to find out is to ask this person directly why he can't let the unfortunate raccoon incident go. Tell him that you do not want to talk about it anymore, but if he wants to talk about other things, why not?

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine constantly asks me what I've been up to, and copies whatever I say. If I'm in on an email newsletter, she will sign up for it. If I go to spin classes, she will start as well. I hate when people copy me. I have tried telling her less about what I am doing and asking her about her interests, but redirecting the conversation doesn't particularly work. I would like my copycat friend to start developing her own interests. How can she stop copying me? -- Copy Cat, Tucson, Arizona

DEAR COPY CAT: Clearly, you and your life are extremely attractive to your friend -- to the point where she has gone overboard in trying to be immersed in your world. Since it seems that you like this friend, why not take the offensive? Invite her to participate in an activity with you. Be inclusive as you experience whatever it is together. When she asks you about other activities or interests, do not answer her questions. This may seem awkward, but if you don't tell her what you are doing, she cannot copy it. You can also tell her that you feel like she is smothering you because she tries to do everything that you do. Suggest that you need a little space. Be sure to tell her it doesn't mean that you don't care about her. It just means that you hope she will choose to develop her individuality more.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in high school, and a lot of my classmates have recently started having invitation-only parties. I haven't been invited to these parties, and I am starting to feel bad about my social life. My parents won't let me throw a party, but I want to have something to do on the weekends, too. How can I have a social life if I'm not invited to these exclusive parties? -- Party Pooper, Dearborn, Michigan

DEAR PARTY POOPER: Navigating the social scene during high school can seem like walking through land mines. It can be so difficult figuring out where you belong, who are your true friends and even how to have fun. Stay in touch with what is important to you, and do your best not to get caught up in what other people are doing. To that end, if the students who are hosting these parties are not really your friends, do your best to stop thinking about them and their social activities. Instead, think about what you like to do, and figure out ways to do more of that.

Also, find out why your parents will not let you throw a party. Is it because of the size or expense? If there are any circumstances under which they would allow it, say if it were small, try to host something. Sometimes when you extend an invitation, doors are opened by others for you to be a part of their activities.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)