DEAR HARRIETTE: I am preparing to move out of my parents' place and be independent. I graduated from college a little less than two years ago, and I know that my dream job is in New York City. I have some money saved up from other jobs, but I am not sure what all of the steps are to getting my own place. My mom does not think I am ready to move out, but I know that in order to get my career started, I need to be in the city that never sleeps. I have found a couple of apartments online, but I know having a real estate agent gets pricey. I will definitely have job interviews scheduled for myself once I get to New York City, but I just need to find a way to be there affordably first. How do I start this move out of the nest? -- Breaking Free and Budgeting, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR BREAKING FREE AND BUDGETING: Being in the practice of saving is essential. It's also important to do your research. Look for a job of some kind before you get to New York City. While you may not find your dream job, it is smart to line up a way to earn money before you move to such an expensive city. See if you can make a few visits for interviews before arriving for good. Most people who move to New York City start by having roommates so that they can share expenses. You can find roommate opportunities via the Internet on sites such as craigslist.org and others. Be clear about your expectations of a roommate and how much you can afford when you list yourself. With strategic planning, you can create a stable foundation upon which to build your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I believe that television is destroying my family life. Whenever my children and my husband and I get home, we seem to automatically retreat into different rooms to watch whatever is our favorite TV show. When I attempt to corral everybody into the same room, it works for a quick meal, but then we invariably end up in our corners, so to speak. I want us to talk as a family and do other interactive things. I almost feel like it's too late, though, because we have been doing this for so long. How can I coax us out of our corners and into each other's lives in real time? -- Competing With the Idiot Box, Dallas

DEAR COMPETING WITH THE IDIOT BOX: Start by talking to your husband about this. Ask him if he will partner with you on limiting TV time in your home. Come up with a plan, which may include hours when the TV is off no matter what. Schedule talk time during meals and after. Introduce games that you can play together. Talk about your day with each other. Do your best not to pry with questions. Instead, ease into chatting.

When you get TV or mobile device pushback, explain that everyone is participating. This will not work as well if you don't have full agreement, which needs to start with the parents.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a rural area, and my family is composed of avid hunters -- except for me. My teenage daughter has just gotten a job in the nearest town, 30 minutes away. She mentioned to me that she told her boss about how my entire family owns many guns and that we cannot wait for deer season. Her boss apparently was uncomfortable with the conversation and steered it away from guns. When my daughter told me, she laughed and said her boss must be from a family of "city folk." This is a term my husband uses for anyone who does not feel the same way about guns, and now my daughter has adopted the phrase. I did not know what to tell my daughter about how to react to her boss, so I told her to not be as vocal about her hobbies. I do not want to feel ashamed and embarrassed about what my husband and kids do. I also do not want to be judged because of their actions. Was I wrong to tell my daughter to not talk about guns at work? It is a very normal part of her life, so I'm not sure she understands why others would be put off. -- No Gun Talk, Minneapolis

DEAR NO GUN TALK: Gun ownership and usage is a volatile topic these days. Generally, people take sides, either vehemently being for the right to bear arms for everyone, including the right to use guns for hunting, or the desire to limit who should be able to own a gun. You may recall that recently an American dentist who is a big-game hunter shot and killed a beloved lion in Africa. He was internationally maligned, and the backlash affected his personal life and his career.

Your family is operating on a much smaller scale, but this is still a prickly time. I think it's wise for your daughter to keep her hunting hobby to herself. This doesn't mean that she should lie about it. More, she should focus her conversations at work on work-related topics.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently been introduced to a funny and quirky guy. I enjoy spending time in his company -- except for one habit of his: Whenever he does something feminine, he jokes that he feels his "rights being taken away," like a woman's. Sometimes he switches up the punch line and says that he feels himself "turning into a second-class citizen." Walter is gay, so he feels he can make these jokes because neither of us are "straight white men." I would never consider making any sort of joke about how I feel gay, and I feel myself losing my rights. Walter seems like a great friend if you overlook this comedic hiccup, and I don't want to have to shut down the mood when this happens. I haven't laughed at this joke and need it to stop. Is it time for a quip back? -- Over the Line, Bronx, New York

DEAR OVER THE LINE: Be direct with your new friend during a private moment, and tell him it bothers you when he jokingly diminishes women. Ask him to stop. If you have the energy -- which I highly recommend -- engage him in an honest discussion about rights, power, gender and sexuality. Let this discomfort lead you both to a richer place.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of the family was rude to me recently. He is my father's best friend, and he has been out of work for years. He used to work full time, was fired and has not been able to find a job since. His wife supports them both, and they have no children. I have a part-time job and am still in school. There is a 30-year difference in our ages, and I have always respected the opinions of those senior to me. However, my father's best friend decided that it was his responsibility to tell me that a part-time job will never support me, that I am delusional and that I do not know how to work hard. Although alcohol probably aided his honesty toward me, I felt it was impossible to defend myself without coming off as rude. He does not even have a job!

I responded by saying that I am trying my best to juggle saving money for myself and getting an education, and the conversation seemed to end there. No one defended me while this was happening, probably because they did not want to bring up the fact that the friend does not have any job to begin with. How do I defend myself politely next time without causing a scene? -- New Generation, Detroit

DEAR NEW GENERATION: Fueled by inebriation, your father's friend was likely speaking his truth by expressing the loss and missed opportunities that can come from not having a full-time, well-paying job. Take his comments as fuel that will ensure that you keep up your energy to complete your education and build a life for yourself of your own design that will fund your lifestyle. Next time you get caught in a conversation with him when he is lecturing you, excuse yourself and leave the room. Do not engage someone who is drunk and belligerent. It will never work to your advantage.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been traveling to my parents' country since I was 1 year old. I have been roughly 20 times, and because of my visits, I am forced to get tested for tuberculosis. These tests are frustrating to me because I have to schedule two visits in three days with my doctor. My schedule is too hectic for this, and I think the best bet is to avoid going to the doctor after every visit for these tests. I've never had tuberculosis and would certainly go to the doctor if I were feeling ill. Could I get away with skipping a few tests between visits? -- Avoid the MD, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR AVOID THE MD: You need to talk to your doctor about this. If the country you are visiting has a significant enough outbreak of tuberculosis to require this level of observation, you probably need to continue following the protocol. But it is worth it for you to check with your local doctor to verify that you have to follow all of those steps after having visited so many times. Ask all the questions you have, but make sure you follow the directions once you receive them -- even if they don't change.

Also, look into visiting an urgent care facility. Many now have walk-in TB testing available.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)