DEAR HARRIETTE: I am feeling emotionally paralyzed. I have taken on so much responsibility lately, handling the aftermath of my father's death and having to deal with his paperwork. I've never had to do this before, and it is overwhelming. Along the way of sorting through everything, I have made some missteps. I have had some heated exchanges with family members, with bankers, with a lot of the people who are part of this process of closing out his affairs. This has meant that on top of all of the actual work, now I have people mad at me because I have not handled everything well. I want to hibernate. I don't want to deal with any of the follow-up calls from people who are mad for one reason or another because the process isn't going smoothly. Obviously, hiding isn't a solution. But I am seriously feeling overwhelmed. How can I handle this situation better so that I can feel less stressed out? -- On the Brink, Detroit

DEAR ON THE BRINK: Rather than hibernate, can you take a few days off to rejuvenate? Maybe a long weekend where you relax and pamper yourself would be a smart idea. Getting rest is so important in having a clear head. If you have a friend or loved one who can be neutral about the situation and supportive at the same time, you may want to invite that person to join you.

When you are feeling refreshed, consider doubling back to the people with whom you have experienced friction and simply apologizing. Even if both of you were wrong, or if the other person was absolutely off-course, you can apologize for your heightened emotions surrounding handling your father's affairs as you also ask for patience, compassion and focus from them. To the best of your ability, keep yourself organized as you complete handling your father's business. This will help you to finish the work and be free to grieve.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have never been close to my brother, although I have attempted to stay in touch with him over the years. He moved away from our hometown years ago and rarely comes home to visit. He has built a nice life for himself, I suppose, but I think that family is also important, so I have tried to maintain some kind of connection to him. The thing is, when I call him, it is often awkward because we don't have much to talk about. I realize I can't force him to do anything. Now that our parents are getting older, I fear that when they go, he will disappear completely. How can I prevent that from happening? -- Keep It Together, Dallas

DEAR KEEP IT TOGETHER: You cannot force your brother to stay in touch with you -- which you already know. You can state the obvious. You can call or write to him and put your thoughts on the line. Tell him of your worry that you will lose each other entirely if you don't both make the effort to stay connected. Tell him you think it's worth it to keep your relationship alive. Ask him if he will make that commitment as well. If he does not, pivot and focus on your own life and the other family members who are alive. That may be the best you can do.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in the final semester of my undergraduate program, and the semester will end in December. However, I do not officially graduate until June 2016, and the financial aid department has informed me that I have extra money left over for the spring 2016 semester. Since I am not graduating until 2016, I was thinking I should take some classes in the spring just to sharpen my skills in preparation for graduate school. What are your thoughts? -- A Student for Life, Bronx, New York

DEAR STUDENT FOR LIFE: First of all, congratulations on your imminent graduation. It takes a lot of focus and commitment to reach this stage in your life, and you should be proud. You have just been given a gift. To be able to take more classes without having to pay for them is a huge bonus that many students would be thrilled to experience. By all means, go for it. Be wise in choosing the class or classes that you take. Since you already know that you intend to go to graduate school, select classes that can help to ease the transition into your field of interest. If you are unsure, speak to a guidance counselor about the general curriculum for your area of choice. Staying in the thick of education is wise, especially since your plan is to continue for the next couple of years.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son invited a group of his friends to celebrate his birthday. They went out to a nice place to eat, and when it came time to pay the bill, his friends paid the bill but they gave the waiter a poor tip. My son was embarrassed by his friends, and he went into his pocket to give the waiter a respectable tip. How can my son make sure this never happens again? -- Please Leave a Tip, Chicago

DEAR PLEASE LEAVE A TIP: Your son did the right thing by supplementing the waiter's tip. What was especially smart is that he was paying attention to the amount of the bill and what would be appropriate to offer. I do not think that he needs to reprimand his friends or make them feel uncomfortable. Since he invited his friends to dine with him, there should have been no expectation that they would pay in the first place. Unless he set that up from the start, the expectation could have been that your son would pay the bill or that all would split the check evenly.

Rather than feeling embarrassed at the point that the tip was too small, your son could have publicly stepped up and said, "Hey, guys, I'm going to take care of the tip. I think our waiter did an excellent job, and I want to reward him accordingly." Feeling like he had to sneak behind his friends to pay the bill made him feel bad and left them without an education. Being open about it could school them without reprimand.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I like to read, and I rarely watch TV. This may be no surprise to you, but I have learned that I am not like most people. As I talk to my friends at work or in the neighborhood, mostly they talk about popular TV shows. Rarely if ever do they talk about a book they've read. That's fine. I'm not judging them. However, I am feeling isolated. I would love to meet some people who enjoy reading like I do. I don't even have a TV anymore because I realized I wasn't watching it. I have to believe that there are a few people left out there who are like me. I want to connect with some of these folks. How do I do that? -- Off Screens, Washington, D.C.

DEAR OFF SCREENS: Do not be dismayed. There are plenty of people who make the choice to read a book rather than watch TV. What you may want to do is look for book clubs that gather to discuss the types of books that you like. You can look them up online or ask your local library. Go to literary events where authors come to talk about their work and sign books. Generally, readers show up at these events, and you will likely meet like-minded people from your community there. Frequent the few bookstores that remain as brick-and-mortar buildings. Throughout the year, bookstores work hard to attract customers, often with incentives that draw in avid readers.

As far as your friends are concerned, do your best not to pass judgment on them because they make different choices than you do. Accept them for who they are, as you want them to accept you. By expanding your friend group, you will be able to enjoy your preferences more and naturally feel less pressure for your other friends to conform.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am trying very hard to teach my children to pick up after themselves and be responsible. This is not a new lesson, but as my son approaches puberty, I find that everything that he learned seems to have gone out the window. I ask him to pick up his clothes off the floor, but he grumbles and doesn't do it. It usually takes four or five times to get him to pay attention. I don't want to fuss with him all the time, but I haven't figured out how to get him to do the basics that have always been his responsibilities. Do I punish him daily? How can I get him to step up? -- Consequences, St. Louis

DEAR CONSEQUENCES: Why not have a refresher meeting with your son? Pick a time of day on the weekend when you can get his full attention. Tell him you want to talk to him about the future. Ask him what he's thinking about these days. Don't push too much, but do your best to get him to talk.

Then tell him that as he is growing up, it is really important that he learn how to be responsible at home, at school, in his friendships -- pretty much everywhere. Ask him to agree to be more mindful of his belongings and his home duties. Assure him that his actions reflect his values and point to his integrity or lack thereof. Encourage him to step up for himself and his family. When he forgets, remind him of his integrity.