DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited on a first date with a really nice guy. We met at a coffee shop near my job and have talked when we've seen each other there several times. I am excited about going out with him. I have a bit of a challenge, though. We are going out to dinner -- classic date, I know. But I have a ton of food allergies. I really don't want to get into my food stuff on a first date, but I'm nervous that he may choose a restaurant that will be hard for me. Should I recommend a safe restaurant or ask him where we are going in advance? Or do I just spill the beans and tell him all about my issues? -- Allergy Date, Chicago

DEAR ALLERGY DATE: If possible, don't go into the allergy details before or during your first date. Keep things light if at all possible. How? By all means, ask what restaurant you will be going to. Knowing the name, you can call and find out what the evening's menu is and what foods you need to avoid. Don't sweat it even if you don't find out until you get to the restaurant. You can excuse yourself from the table and go to the maitre d' or waiter, give them a list of your food allergies (best if already printed on a card) and ask for recommendations for what you can order. With that information, you can be ready to order as you and your date look over the menu.

If it naturally comes up that you have food allergies, do not avoid the conversation. It is part of who you are, and he will have to learn soon enough. Just do your best not to make it the dramatic conversation of the night.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was asked to help a couple get some things together for their wedding. I did help them some, but I wasn't able to be there on the day of the ceremony due to work and family conflicts. I know they were disappointed that I couldn't join them, although I let them know in plenty of time. What can I do to make sure they know how much I care about them? They are not close friends, but we like each other a lot. -- Celebrating Nuptials, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR CELEBRATING NUPTIALS: Send the couple a congratulatory card that acknowledges their union. Also, go to their gift registry and select something on the list that you can afford. Have your gift sent to them. After things settle down, if you like, you can check in with them to see how they are doing. Newlyweds appreciate hearing from loved ones. You will need to decide if you want to cultivate a relationship with the married couple. If so, let them know you want to spend time with them. Invite them to dinner or to an outing with you.

If you are not trying to insert yourself into their life, the card and gift are plenty.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter was invited to a sleepover with a friend from her school. I let her go, and they seemed to have fun, but she came home exhausted the next day. It turns out the girls stayed up half the night playing video games, talking and laughing -- or so she reported. I want my daughter to enjoy herself, but this seems extreme. Am I off base in thinking this? My daughter is 12. I haven't let her go to other people's homes very much, so I'm not sure what to expect. The girl's mother acted like it wasn't a big deal, but I am furious that she didn't give them boundaries. -- Out of Control, Syracuse, New York

DEAR OUT OF CONTROL: While not a good habit for a normal night, it is absolutely common for children to stay up late and indulge in fun activities, including the use of screens and even junk food, during sleepovers. Is this ideal? No. But I don't think you should make a big deal of it. Your child is learning how to be with friends, and this is part of the process. Expect sleepovers to be energy drains, and do not schedule important activities the morning after such events.

You may want to host sleepovers at your home, as well. In this way, you can introduce healthy foods and activities. Even then, be sure not to get too involved. Give your daughter space to explore friendship safely.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel so bad. I caught a cold this summer, and it really knocked me down. Because I work for a very small company, they needed me to come in anyway. I worked through it all, but now everybody at my company is sick. I am certain it's because I was in that office, coughing everywhere. I promise that I did my best to keep my distance, but I was sick. Now my co-workers are mad at me for passing along this germ. I am mad because my boss made me come in. Rather than continuing to point fingers, though, I want to bring this up to my boss to suggest that we make a revised policy about what we do when somebody is ill. How can I go about that? -- Sick-free Zone, San Francisco

DEAR SICK-FREE ZONE: It's a great idea to bring this up to your boss. Take ownership of your illness and describe when you felt sick, when you reported it to the boss and what happened. If you did ask for time off and were denied it, remind your boss of this, in context. If there was a big project or deadline, include that in the description. Sincerely explain how committed you are to your company and the work, which is why you want to look at this topic from a different angle. Describe the reality that your being in the office to do that work likely compromised everyone's health, affecting the productivity of the company. Suggest that in the future, if employees get sick, they should be encouraged to stay home -- even if they attempt to work from home -- to cut down on exposing others to illness. If your boss knows that others got sick, it will be easier to consider this wise recommendation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a serious problem with remembering people's names. I have never been good at holding on to names in my head. Over the years, what with my work in public office and all, where I meet hundreds of people every year, I really don't know who the people are sometimes. I have tried to do the word tricks that experts have come up with, but to little success. Usually I get around it, but sometimes I run into people who will even ask me, "Do you know who I am?" At least half the time I do not. What can I do when I am stuck in this embarrassing situation? -- Can't Remember, Denver

DEAR CAN'T REMEMBER: Sadly, I know your pain. I have always been challenged remembering people's names. I sometimes don't remember exactly who someone is when I run into them. Generally, though, I recognize when I know people. With that in mind, I can tell you what I do.

I believe that what is most important is to acknowledge people. Greet them warmly. Make eye contact. Shake hands or give a hug, whichever feels right for you and that person in that moment. If you remember who the person is and why you know each other, say something that connects you both to that shared experience. If you recall the last time you saw each other, bring up that moment.

I sometimes ask people to remind me of their name. When I am out and about with others, I let my friends know that I often have what my daughter calls "brain farts" when it comes to names, so they help me with introductions to reduce any discomfort.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed that a lot of people I know are really negative. It's worse than the glass is half empty idea. Whenever we talk, all I hear from two of them specifically is what's going wrong, how horrible life is, what somebody did to upset them. It's like a constant drone of bad stuff. I don't want to listen to that anymore. Well, I never really wanted to listen to it, but I was trying to be a good friend and not judge. Now I realize I can't fill my head with that talk and those thoughts. I don't want to just dump my friends. What can I do to change the course of our friendship? -- Choosing Happiness, Dallas

DEAR CHOOSING HAPPINESS: I recently spoke to a good friend who is almost 80 years old. The occasion was the death of another friend. This woman acknowledged the lost life, and then after a few minutes, graciously said, "OK, now let's talk about something uplifting." She easefully changed the subject and introduced a palate cleanser of sorts, making it possible for us to pivot to safer ground.

You can introduce pivot turns into your conversations with naysayers. Literally, you can change the subject. If necessary, you can say, "I want to talk about something happy now." Then introduce a new topic. You can also say, "I'm sorry but I don't want to talk about anything upsetting, sad or gossipy right now. Sorry." If the person continues, you can physically leave the conversation.