DEAR HARRIETTE: On my morning commute, there is a blind man with a service dog. We have never spoken, but we have been getting on the same train for the past couple of weeks now. A couple of days ago, there were two women making rude comments about how his service dog smelled. Another woman chimed in on how the dog was touching her on the packed train. The three of them continued as if the man was not even there. I wanted to stand up for him, but had no idea if it would be appropriate for me to do. The man is probably thirty years my senior and has a functioning job. He did not say anything to the women, and neither did I. Should I have said something? -- Tongue-tied, Queens, New York

DEAR TONGUE-TIED: Yes, you should have spoken up. This is an instance where it's better to be an ally than a bystander who allows someone to be disrespectful to another. You could have said, "It can be hard to ride a packed train with lots of people and sometimes animals, but that doesn't give you the right to be disrespectful to this man. I see him all the time, heading to work just like the rest of us. Please stop saying such rude things. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone talked about you like that."

I realize that it takes a lot of courage to say that, but if you can do so in a calm, compassionate tone, you can potentially put out the fire rather than stoke the flame.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Although I know how inappropriate it is, I need to learn how to cancel plans as politely as possible. With a new, longer work schedule, I am sometimes simply drained when I get home. I have started to lessen my social schedule, but there are certain pre-existing events I have already agreed to. I know I will not be at my best and would like to politely decline the offers that I have already accepted. I know this is a faux pas. Should I make up excuses? -- No Reservations, Dallas

DEAR NO RESERVATIONS: I am a big fan of the truth. Be proactive and contact the people with whom you have scheduled engagements that you feel you need to cancel. Be honest. Tell them that you do want to get together, but that you do not have the energy to do so right now. Explain how your life has changed. You can briefly describe your new work schedule and add how you feel about it. For instance, if you are enjoying the work even though the workload is heavy, say so. Perhaps this is your time to devote more of your time to building your work life and career. Tell your friends that you look forward to getting together in the future, but for now you need some downtime to rest and be able to show up at work raring to go!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been having the worst time working with one of my clients. It never was a particularly comfortable relationship, but recently it has gone downhill, and fast. Communication has been horrible; deadlines have been missed. Every time I ask what's going on, I get the runaround. So I did some research and what I have learned has got me worried. I believe they are going out of business. All signs point to that, now that I am taking an objective view. And I am really concerned about how to protect myself. I have several projects that are incomplete, but in process. I'm afraid that if they go out of business before we are finished, I may never get paid. How can I avoid that? -- Near the End, Boston

DEAR NEAR THE END: Hopefully, you have a contract with this company that outlines your deliverables and payment schedule. Next, you need an attorney who can review your situation and help you prepare for the worst. If the company goes bankrupt, it could be very difficult for you to get paid.

Watch to see what happens in the coming days. Meanwhile, do your project to the best of your ability -- with a smile. Be kind and compassionate to your client. Work hard to complete your tasks quickly and efficiently so that you get your invoices in and reconciled before things get worse. If your refreshed approach yields nothing, go back to your attorney and determine if you can be proactive in pressing for your compensation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I are talking about getting married. He is a great guy, and I feel so happy that he wants to marry me. I also know that we have a lot of things to work through to make sure that this relationship can stand the test of time. Neither of us comes from a two-parent household. My dad left when I was a kid, and his dad died before he was a teenager. We are both people of faith, and we want to do this right. We want to get married, honor each other and have fun -- everything. Part of us is afraid that we don't know what to do. Can you recommend support to help us have a successful marriage? -- Eyes on the Prize, Cincinnati

DEAR EYES ON THE PRIZE: Congratulations on your plan to marry. It is wise to look through sober eyes at the prospect of marriage. In order for a marriage to thrive, you two need to share the same values, know each other's idiosyncrasies, be willing to accept responsibilities, be ready to listen and choose time and again to go to each other first when there is conflict or trouble in your life.

You can seek guidance from your church, through pre-marital counseling that will help you examine your beliefs about myriad things. You may also want to read a new book, "His Leadership, Her Trust," by Heath Wiggins, a coach who works with couples on growing strong marriages based on Biblical principles.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As my daughter is becoming a preteen, she has recently started to lament her weight. I have not addressed body image directly with her. She will be entering middle school next year and is a dancer. I do not want her to quit doing what she loves because she feels insecure, and gaining some weight before having a growth spurt is common in my family. I would like to know how to approach this topic with her. How do I bring up body image with my preteen daughter? -- Plump Preteen, Chicago

DEAR PLUMP PRETEEN: I believe in talking about everything with children in an age-appropriate manner. When you choose not to discuss a sensitive topic, know that this does not mean that your child isn't thinking about it. Body image and weight are huge topics for females in particular, often for much of our lives. At the preteen age, so many hormonal changes occur that it is true that many growing girls gain weight as their bodies take on new contours. Talk to your daughter about the changes occurring in her body, about what you and other family members were like at her age. If you believe your daughter could practice better eating habits, talk about that as well, and consider joining her on a healthy eating journey.

As far as dance is concerned, that is a field that is extremely judgmental of the female form. Often dance classes and companies are strict about dancers being extremely lean. If your daughter does not fall into that category, you may want to consider putting her in a different class or school that is friendlier to fuller figures. If your daughter is serious about dance and willing to make her body the strongest instrument it can be, however, then you may want to encourage her to stay where she is. A perfect example of one who doesn't have a classic dancer's body but who has risen to great success is the principal ballerina for the American Ballet Theater, Misty Copeland. She is muscular and much curvier than a typical dancer, and she has defied all odds to reach the top of her field anyway. Get inspired by reading her memoir, "Life in Motion: An Unlikely Ballerina."

DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved to America from a very Catholic country when I was 23. I do not consider myself particularly religious and have not been to church in years. When I go back to visit family, they go to church at least once a week. Do I have an obligation to go with them? They always try to convince me to go back to church, but I simply do not believe nor do I want to be coerced all of the time. I feel conflicted about attending because I stay in their home when I visit. There is no chance of me converting, but I am not sure if going to a place of worship out of courtesy is even morally sound. Do I have to go? -- Church Crux, Seattle

DEAR CHURCH CRUX: While visiting your family, you should go to church with them out of respect, not necessarily all of the time, though. Keep your religious views to yourself. Simply honor them while there by going with the flow.