DEAR HARRIETTE: As my daughter is becoming a preteen, she has recently started to lament her weight. I have not addressed body image directly with her. She will be entering middle school next year and is a dancer. I do not want her to quit doing what she loves because she feels insecure, and gaining some weight before having a growth spurt is common in my family. I would like to know how to approach this topic with her. How do I bring up body image with my preteen daughter? -- Plump Preteen, Chicago

DEAR PLUMP PRETEEN: I believe in talking about everything with children in an age-appropriate manner. When you choose not to discuss a sensitive topic, know that this does not mean that your child isn't thinking about it. Body image and weight are huge topics for females in particular, often for much of our lives. At the preteen age, so many hormonal changes occur that it is true that many growing girls gain weight as their bodies take on new contours. Talk to your daughter about the changes occurring in her body, about what you and other family members were like at her age. If you believe your daughter could practice better eating habits, talk about that as well, and consider joining her on a healthy eating journey.

As far as dance is concerned, that is a field that is extremely judgmental of the female form. Often dance classes and companies are strict about dancers being extremely lean. If your daughter does not fall into that category, you may want to consider putting her in a different class or school that is friendlier to fuller figures. If your daughter is serious about dance and willing to make her body the strongest instrument it can be, however, then you may want to encourage her to stay where she is. A perfect example of one who doesn't have a classic dancer's body but who has risen to great success is the principal ballerina for the American Ballet Theater, Misty Copeland. She is muscular and much curvier than a typical dancer, and she has defied all odds to reach the top of her field anyway. Get inspired by reading her memoir, "Life in Motion: An Unlikely Ballerina."

DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved to America from a very Catholic country when I was 23. I do not consider myself particularly religious and have not been to church in years. When I go back to visit family, they go to church at least once a week. Do I have an obligation to go with them? They always try to convince me to go back to church, but I simply do not believe nor do I want to be coerced all of the time. I feel conflicted about attending because I stay in their home when I visit. There is no chance of me converting, but I am not sure if going to a place of worship out of courtesy is even morally sound. Do I have to go? -- Church Crux, Seattle

DEAR CHURCH CRUX: While visiting your family, you should go to church with them out of respect, not necessarily all of the time, though. Keep your religious views to yourself. Simply honor them while there by going with the flow.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in my last summer before graduating college, and my internship fell through. I was told I had it after my interview went well. After a month of trying to contact anyone in the office with no success, I received a curt email saying I would not be needed after all. Originally, I was angry and felt strung along. I canceled my other interviews after receiving this internship. Now I am wondering what my next step should be. I got a job waitressing, so my summer is not wasted, but I do not know where else to turn. It seems too late to get another internship. What else can I do so getting a job is easier out of college? -- Summertime Sadness, Syracuse, New York

DEAR SUMMERTIME SADNESS: Don't give up yet. If you know your field of interest, do research in your area to learn what companies do that work. Contact them to see if you can volunteer part-time this summer. Be enthusiastic and focused when you contact them. Make it clear that they do what you want to do, and you want a chance to learn from them. Look for smaller companies that may have more relaxed rules about how they accept interns. Calling it volunteering might create more flexibility in their human resources considerations. If that doesn't work, ask to shadow leaders for a day in the companies you have identified. The point is for you to gain some exposure in your field during the summer.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My oldest daughter, Megan, lives in Vermont and recently took my dog for a vacation away from my smaller confines outside of New York City. Now Megan wants to keep my dog for good. As long as my active dog is happier there, I am fine with the transition. Except now my youngest daughter, Anna, really misses having a dog in the house. Should I ask Megan for the dog back? Should I tell Anna we're not keeping the dog anymore? I wouldn't mind getting a new puppy, but I am simply torn on what to do. -- In the Dog House, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR IN THE DOG HOUSE: A compromise that everyone may enjoy is for the two households to share the dog you already have. Let Megan have your dog for a month or so, and then take the dog back. This way, the dog gets the freedom and space to run around in Vermont and also continues to get to enjoy the family in your smaller confines in Brooklyn. Whenever either of you travels, give the dog to the other household. In this way, everyone wins, including the dog.

If you don't like the sharing plan, you have to decide if you have the energy to train a puppy. They are cute and lovable, but they definitely require a lot of attention. I would like to say that Anna will be willing to step up and help with the puppy, but typically children are unreliable. It's on you!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every year, we are invited to visit friends who have a cabin in the woods. The setting is lovely, and we enjoy our friends. But every single year, no matter what we do, we come away with serious bug bites, including spider bites. We visited them a few weeks ago, and we are still suffering the consequences, with itching, burning bites all over our bodies. We are not wimps, but we are city people. My husband did a lot of research to find out the best way to stave off the bugs, but nature is winning -- big time. We love our friends, but we have decided we don't want to subject ourselves to this feeding frenzy anymore. What can we say to them so that they understand? -- No Bug Zone, Boston

DEAR NO BUG ZONE: There are many remedies for ridding a home of bugs; however, as you already know, if the location is in the heart of the woods, it may be impossible to get rid of them all. If you care to give the visit a last-ditch effort, you might talk to your friends about your concerns and ask if they can help to de-bug the place. You and your family could eliminate all fragrances, including face creams, moisturizers, shampoos and even deodorant.

If you are past the point of trying again, tell them as much. Admit that while you want to be adventurous, you are city people, and the bugs have gotten the best of you. Suggest that you spend time together in the city instead of the country. Be sure to thank them for their hospitality over the years.

Separately, go to your doctor to verify that the bites are healing properly and that no bug infected you with a disease or parasite.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an on-again, off-again exerciser. It's terrible. Last year, I was so good and lost quite a bit of weight. Now, I feel like I'm back where I started. I really need to lose weight, but I find it very difficult to get motivated enough to do anything substantial about it. I am not a lazy person. I work very hard at my job and in my home, taking care of my family. Somehow there never seems to be enough time left for me to take care of myself. -- Need a Jumpstart, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NEED A JUMPSTART: Your biggest job is psyching yourself into putting you first. Believe it or not, the way that you can do your best at work and at home is by making yourself a priority. How? Start small. What did you enjoy last year when you were more physically active? Repeat that. While many trainers suggest working out three to five days a week, I am going to suggest that you consider your goal to be daily exercise. In this way, you get your mind in exercise mode. Whether you go for it every day or not, you set your mind and body in that direction. Choose something manageable, like walking or doing situps. Add a class if you can, where you get instruction on how to exercise. Enlist a buddy to work out with you. That can be motivating.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)