DEAR HARRIETTE: A couple of years back, a guy named Josh and I had a fling. We have since become platonic friends, and we even vacation in the same large group. His girlfriend is very bubbly, and it is nice to see them happy together. Recently, 20 of us were all away together, and Josh's mother made an appearance. I found myself having an excellent conversation with her and enjoyed meeting her. Josh's girlfriend, however, may have made a gaffe by ignoring the mother. Later, one of the people on the trip overheard Josh's mother talking to him. She said Josh's girlfriend is rude and that she likes me more. The mother does not know about our past dalliance. I have a boyfriend, only see Josh as a friend and do not want to make an enemy out of his girlfriend. The group gossip told me, so I know I am not the only one who knows about the mother-son conversation. Do I ignore the situation? -- Keeping It in the Past, Dallas

DEAR KEEPING IT IN THE PAST: If you and Josh speak regularly, you could contact him to give him the heads-up. Tell him how nice you think his girlfriend is and recommend that he encourage her to get to know his mom. Because you spoke at length with her and the girlfriend did not, the mom naturally is reminded of you and interested in you. You can immediately deflect that back to his current relationship. Remind Josh that you have a boyfriend and you are just looking out for him and his girlfriend.

Now, if you and Josh rarely talk, just let this die down on its own. Ultimately, the two of them need to find their way with his mother. Offer your advice only if you think it will be heard.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 12-year-old son came home from camp raving about a girl he had met. The two of them have been texting up a storm. The rule is that he has to let me look at his phone whenever I want in order for him to have a cellphone. So far, their interaction seems age-appropriate. They have talked about sports, TV shows and cellphone games. I'm not sure what else to monitor. We constantly talk about appropriate conversation between boys and girls. How do I support him during these early days of "dating" without smothering him? -- Entering the Teen Years, Madison, Wisconsin

DEAR ENTERING THE TEEN YEARS: You seem to be doing a good job of monitoring your son's phone. Be sure to have regular conversations with him about camp, not just about the young lady, as that could feel awkward. Talk about his whole day. Get him animated as he describes his activities. Let him bring up the girl on occasion. You can ask as well. If she lives close, find out if he would like to invite her over to visit so that you can meet her. Supervised engagements are a great way for you to get to know someone your son likes.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a girlfriend who is overweight; she is always trying out fad diets. She has yo-yoed for years with her weight, and it just seems crazy to me. I have to bite my tongue as she goes from one diet to the next, but I grow weary of even hearing her talk about these various exploits. Whenever I invite her to exercise with me or take a cooking class or anything, she shrugs it off and starts raving about whatever fad she is on. How can I remain respectful of her but draw the line about what I'm willing to talk about? I am exhausted by the fads. -- Fad-Free, Denver

DEAR FAD-FREE: People get their minds wrapped around ideas of what will be good for them, and often they cannot see beyond those concepts. You cannot control or influence your friend's behavior. You have witnessed that already. What you can do is to be mindful of your own well-being. If you feel that it is too frustrating for you to listen to tales of your friend's diet exploits, tell her as much. If she reacts as if she is offended, you have every right to say to her -- as kindly as you can muster -- that you love her and want the best for her but do not agree with the choices she makes about her health. Tell her that it's best for you not to engage in conversation about those choices as you do not want to be rude to her, but you just do not co-sign those choices.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an employee who now works part-time for my company. He comes in once a week for eight hours and completes a significant amount of work. Then he goes to his other job. This has worked fairly well for the past few months. Recently, though, he has slacked off. He comes in late, and most recently didn't come at all or call. When I texted him, he said he had things to do at home, but he hadn't bothered to tell me. In general, this man does a good job. How can I get him to remain as responsible as he used to be now that he works part-time? -- Stepping Up Part-Time, Washington, D.C.

DEAR STEPPING UP PART-TIME: Switching to part-time can prove problematic for some people as the structure of the workweek changes dramatically. This can be especially true for someone who enjoys flexibility due to earned seniority. It is time for you to remind this employee of his responsibilities. Top of the list is communication.

Schedule a meeting with him where you remind him of how much you value his work with your company. Tell him how significant it is when he doesn't show up. Remind him of your house rules, whatever they may be, but which must include that employees say something if they cannot come to work. Ask him if there is anything going on in his life that has caused him to be delinquent at work. Since you have appreciated him in the past, get to the bottom of what's happening now. A pep talk may be enough to get him back on track. If not, start looking for his replacement.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been on a new job for about a year. Prior to that, I was out of work for more than two years. It has been a really tough time for my family and me. The other day, one of the companies I had interviewed with contacted me about coming to work for them. The salary would be almost twice my current salary. I really like the company that has offered me this job, but I feel bad about leaving the job I am in. I know this is what some people call a luxury problem because, after all, I was out of work for so long. I don't want to make a bad or hasty decision. What should I do? -- Considering an Offer, Milwaukee

DEAR CONSIDERING AN OFFER: Compare the benefits of your current job with those of the new offer. Figure out what assurances the new job offers for you and your family as you look to the future. What is the growth potential for you in the new job versus the one you are currently in? Talk to your spouse about the pros and cons of each of them, and come to a decision together about what will be best for your family.

DEAR HARRIETTE: School is out, and with it my family is in a conundrum. My son's teacher suggested that it would be good for him to get support with his reading and math. She did not say he had to go to summer school. She recommended a few options, everything from a tutor to some of the group programs like Kumon. I'm all for it, but my son feels like he shouldn't have to do any of it since it wasn't mandated. I have tried to tell him that getting academic support is common for students -- including students who are very good at subjects and those who can use a bit of a boost. I have signed him up for a class, but his attitude is horrible. How can I get him to embrace this process so that he can learn and flourish? -- Helping My Kid, Chicago

DEAR HELPING MY KID: You may want to start by talking to the teacher or teachers at the program that you have selected. Let them know that your son is reluctant to participate in the program, and you need help getting him motivated. They likely have strategies for motivation, as your problem is not unusual at all.

Next, ask your son to give it a try. Tell him your job as a parent is to help him to be successful in all of his endeavors, and this program is designed to do just that. You may want to offer him incentives to do well. For instance, if he gives this program his full attention, later in the summer you will plan something special that he has always wanted to do. Support your son when he comes home by creating quiet space for him to complete any homework that he may be given. And assure him that there is space for him to have fun, too. Without the balance of fun in his summer, he will resent you for making him do the other work.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)